When ya mate Broxy is called up to give a speech at a wedding, you can safely bet that things will be certifiably ‘Strayan.
And at Mick Gould and Jessika Power’s Married at First Sight wedding on Tuesday, we were blessed with the most Ocker and downright inappropriate best man’s speech in the history of weddings everywhere.
Yup, Broxy (which we would only hope is a nickname), is a straight shooting Aussie whose public speaking abilities are helped along by this:
Broxy sculls wine like a good Aussie bloke, in preparation for his speech. (Source: Channel 9)
And this:
Broxy then sculls beer in preparation for the speech. (Source: Channel 9)
And when you’re downing two types of alcohol before you’ve even started speaking, one can only expect what was to follow – and it appears Mick knows his mate Broxy too well…
“Of course I’m worried about his speech,” the 31-year-old farmer says in a voice over. “Brox doesn’t let the truth get in the way of a good story. But I’m hoping he goes easy on the stories and sort of ease the wife into the…how I am.”
At first, we think he’s in luck. Broxy starts off strong with the confidence of a meat raffle MC at an RSL club.
“Welcome everyone, it’s great to see everyone here tonight.”
“Jess, you are lucky,” he then says, but by the looks of it, the 26-year-old doesn’t appear to feel “lucky”…
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Blink twice if you need help, Jess! (Source: Channel 9)
“He’s a pretty top bloke,” Broxy continues, revealing he’s going to “tell a bit of a story” about his best mate.
“We went up to Airlie beach,”… and Mick knows exactly what’s coming….
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“Don’t listen, shut your ears,” Mick tells his wife. (Source: Channel 9)
“Just for a couple of drinks and ah, we’ve drunk the whole bar dry,” he says, shocking precisely no one.
“Just me and him, and ah, Mick’s gone to me, I’m going to take some Viagra. So he’s taken the Viagra as a bit of a gee up. He’s raring at everything but nothin’s coming at him…”
(We’re pretty sure this means that Mick was trying to “pick up” the ladies but we couldn’t be 100% sure and where’s Nick “Honey Badger” Cummins when we need him?)
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No caption necessary. (Source: Channel 9)
We then hear from Jessika’s older (hot) brother: “He better not take that at the honeymoon…” while also throwing daggers into Mick’s soul.
“Obviously the viagra’s worked and I’m asleep and I’ve woken up and I can hear some noises,” Broxy continues, because Broxy cannot read a room.
“Open me eyes and he’s made himself a bloody tent over himself and he’s having a go…”
Oh no, no, no, no, no. Broxy, no.
As one would expect, Jessika’s father Troy is NOT happy and mumbles expletives under his breath.
Jessika’s Dad Troy mumbles profanities under his breath. (Source: Channel 9)
Jessika’s (hot) brother Rhyce shoots daggers at Broxy and Mick. (Source: Channel 9)
“Jesus mate, bloody hell! How many times you done this?” Broxy continues. “At least five. He’s finished “him” and we’re all safe.” Vomit.
Mick is understandably horrified, Jessika skulls her beer, Rhyce is ready to pounce and Mick is mortified – “You pr – – ,” he yells at his “mate”, “You pr- -“.
And of course, the Twitterverse reacted in the best way they know how…
Oh lordy, lordy, lordy.
Go home Broxy, you’ve had enough!
For more Married at First Sight 2019 content, check these links out below!
Married At First Sight’s Jules: ‘My secret royal past!’
Meet the brides and grooms of Married At First Sight 2019
Married At First Sight’s Dino’s kinky bedroom antics revealed!
Married At First Sight: The shocking secret Jessika tried to hide
