Oh my days. The sun is shining, birds are chirping and Channel Nine has bestowed only the greatest news of the 21st Century. (Sophie Monk, it’s time to step aside…)
The UK has given us some of life’s sweetest pleasures: the Spice Girls, Prince Harry’s smile, the current population of Bondi Beach. And now they are sending to our shores only the most delightful reality TV show of all time. Love Island is coming to Australia. And it will air on 9Go and online on 9Now in 2018.
^accurate
What is Love Island?
Honey child, take a seat, you’re about to get educated.
Love Island, or what we’ll come to know as Love Island Australia, is a British dating reality TV show.
We like to think of it as the perfect combination of The Bachelor (sans roses), Big Brother (recording your every move) with a dusting of Survivor ( the whole living on an island thing).
The show sends six men and six women to a deliciously hot tropical location for six weeks.
Just like the OG, Nine has confirmed that the Aussie series will be filmed in Spain (fingers crossed it is in the same villa in Mallorca).
Doesn’t this get you excited for the future of television?
They’re cut off from the outside world and are under constant video surveillance.
The guys and gals need to pair up – whether it is for love or friendship – and at the end only one couple can win the cash prize.
But like all good reality shows, there’s a big old catch.
One person from the winning couple will be given the chance to share the money with their new squeeze, OR walk away with the entire loot and thus unveiling what their true intentions were all along – love or money?
In the UK series, they’re awarded a solid £50,000 in prize money.
What’s Love Island’s format and how does it work?
One thing you should always keep in mind – Don’t listen to JLo because love does cost a thing!
Along with a series of challenges set for each couple to prove their couple potential, every week there is a re-coupling where he cast, known as The Islanders, can remain with their original partner or have a case of musical dating chairs and switch it up.
During the series, a number of new Islanders also come into the villa.
Newbies aren’t always well received.
But much like gravity, what goes up must come down. And if new meat goes in, you can bet a pretty dollar someone has to leave in their place. The biggest no-no is that you cannot be single – after all the show is called LOVE Island – or you may find yourself eliminated.
How do I apply to be on Love Island Australia?
Channel Nine is casting RIGHT NOW!
^ This could be you
The network is scouring for “sexy young singles aged 18 – 35 to join Love Island Australia.”
“You must be warm, honest, open and looking for love,” their website reads.
The application process is relatively easy, and you can try your hand right this way.
Your social media presence seems to play a key role, with one of the questions asking, “Do you currently blog and/or vlog?”
They also quiz you about how many followers you have, what your dating history looks like, why it didn’t work out and if you’ve ever been in love.
Add in some sexy photos of yourself (bikini selfies encouraged) and Bob’s your uncle!
You’ve officially applied for one of the hottest experiences of your life.
It should be noted that if you’re one of the lucky few who join the Love Island Australia gang, you’ll be wearing nothing but bikinis and boardies.
Pack nothing else.
Seriously.
Some outfit inspo…
We’ve got the boys sorted!
Why are we so excited about Love Island Australia?
For those who haven’t dedicated 50 hours of their life to fall head over heels in love, obsessed and completely addicted to Love Island, let us help you get to know your new favourite vice.
1. It’s highly addictive with little commitment
You know when you have one of those days – you hate your job, the train smelt like a urinal, you’re trying to be healthy but all you’re thinking about is number four special from chicken shop with an extra side of chips. And then you realise you drank all the wine LAST NIGHT.
Cue: your free, real life, calorie-free saviour. Love Island. You don’t have to think and it makes you feel oh, so good.
This man is what we like to describe as guilt-free pleasure… With a capital P.
2. The people become YOUR people
The Islanders become your humans. You watch them become friends, lovers, enemies (not really – the conflict levels never reach uncomfortable levels) every night.
For example, season three of Love Island saw people across the globe fall for unlucky in love Camilla Thurlow.
^ She’s actually so perfect!
The 28-year-old, who once dated Prince Harry and works in explosive ordnance disposal, became the villa’s sweetheart when she bared her soul, only to have her heart smashed by fellow islander, Jonny Mitchell. Thankfully, she went on to meet, new islander, and now love of her life, Calvin Klein model and IRL babe Jamie Jewitt.
And then there are the bromances like Chris Hughes and Kem Cetinay, who prove true BFFs do exist.
Granted, you may not know who they are – but if Channel Nine get the casting right… We may uncover our next Hamish and Andy or Sam and Snez!
3. The romance, the drama, the nothing that happens
^This is pretty much the entire show summed up in one photo
The show is significantly classier than its Geordie Shore cousin. Yes, there’s minimal clothing and sometimes the sheets go bump at night, but not much else happens. And that’s a really good thing.
You become highly invested in these people who seem very, very real.
4. The voice over and Flack attack
Australia’s king of hosting Sir Osher Günsberg may have some competition, as one of the best things about Love Island is the ridiculously funny voice over guy, Iain Stirling.
His commentary of the show is genuinely so funny, he makes mundane tasks like walking to the kitchen become comedy gold.
In the UK they enlisted the highly-celebrated Caroline Flack to host the show. For our Aussie alternate, we’d like to put forward Courtney Act – she’s funny, she’s fabulous and she used to work with Osher… So you know she’s got the goods.
During her Australian Idol days!
Talk about sass!
5. The new lingo that will change your vocab forever
Potentially the best thing about Love Island is the lingo. The Brit edition opened this Aussie writer’s eyes to words and phrases like:
Pied
Definition: The act of being dumped/ditched.
Used in context: “She’s proper pied him off. Bet he feels a right twat.”
On paper (our personal favourite)
Definition: A way of describing a person’s type, before pointing out a flaw.
Used in context: “On paper, he’s amazing: He’s got the type of body I always go for. But… I’m just not into him.”
Melt
Definition: A total idiot. Most commonly an idiot who is acting cheesy and lame over a girl.
Used in context: “I’m acting like a complete melt over this bird.”
Mugged off
Definition: To be played, disrespected or deceived.
Used in context: “Babes, I’ve been mugged off.”
0Grafting
Definition: To bend over backwards to get someone to like you.
Used in context: “I’ve been grafting overtime for them.”
SPECIAL MENTION: Dick sand
Created by season three’s Olivia Attwood
Definition: When there are dreamboats surrounding you and you literally cannot deal.
Used in context: “I just feel like I’m getting swallowed up in dick sand. That’s just classic Liv.”
1We’re REALLY looking forward to see what new words the Aussie edition will enlighten the public with.
How to stalk the s— out of Love Island Australia
Guys, we’ve got you covered!
For Facebook follow www.facebook.com/LoveIslandAU
For Instagram follow @loveislandau
For Twitter follow @loveislandau
2018 can’t come soon enough!
