Is there a bigger decision in life than naming a person? There’s so much pressure to get it right for you and for them side-eyes at my mum I mean ‘Rebel’? Wow.
It’s an easy decision to overthink. Not only do you have to find one that sits well with you, your partner and you have to agree on one, which adds another level of complication to the mix.
Then, of course, there’s the absolute no-ways. The names that you would never, ever consider. Sometimes they’re easier to list than the ones that you do like, and if this recent Mumsnet thread is anything to go by, the reasons we won’t choose them can be, well … pretty nuts.
“I wouldn’t call a girl Madison. It ends in “son” so really doesn’t belong on a girl,” cites one confident poster.
Another simply states; “Fanny, obvious reasons.”
“I would never name a child Mia = missing in action,” posts one commenter who had a lot of names on their no-go list. “Or Cameron, what if she marries a guy named Cameron and then she is called Cameron Cameron?”
Sheesh, Cameron Cameron? That’s a lot of forward thinking there.
Read next: the most popular baby names of 2019 predicted!
Was there someone who put you off a name for life? Image: Getty Images.
And there was the person who said they’d never use the name Lana because it was “Anal backwards”.
Then things get really odd …
“When I zone out I tend to misspell names (think writing Christmas cards). For that reason we don’t have a Viole(n)t or Po(o)ppy,” writes someone who has clearly put a lot of thought into her vetoed list.
Or this: “… any time I hear ‘Jasmine’ I just hear ‘jizz-minge'”
OK then.
Continues after video …
One common theme throughout the thread was people who had names ruined for them by others they’d met throughout life who had put them off certain names for life.
“I’m a teacher,” moans one such commenter. “Many names were no-goes when we had ours. Some of the little darlings I taught ruined some names for me.”
The name Francesca was out for this commenter: “It’s a beautiful name, but I knew a really horrid one at school (she wasn’t nice to me) and couldn’t use it. The name is forever tainted!”
Likewise for this commenter who could not use the name Kayleigh. “I knew a Kayleigh who tried to destroy my relationship with my first boyfriend,’ she penned. “Now the name is ruined for me, even though it’s 12 years later”.
Similarly to the names-ruined theme, was the idea of naming children popular names, with many declaring it was something they would never do.
“My name was very popular in the early 90’s” said one commenter. “I was one of 5 with the same name in my reception class at school – let’s say it was “Annie”. We were known as “Annie A”, “Annie B” etc for the whole of primary school.”
There’s clearly a lot of pressure on baby-naming parents. Image: Getty Images.
All of those bemoaning the value of classic names were quickly put in their place by a particular commenter who urged them to think how lucky they were at the options available to them, writing: “You think you have it bad? I’m Indian …”
They went on to list some of the names that babies in their family had recently been bestowed with, including “Pervart” and “Pinshit”.
But perhaps funniest of all in the thread were the people who hadn’t really thought about their no-way list quite enough.
“I know of one couple who had the surname Dick,” chimes in one hilarious commenter. “They had a son and nearly named him Isaac. Thankfully a friend stepped in and told them why that wouldn’t be such a good idea.”
There’s certainly some food for though there. Are there any names that you’d never, ever use?
