A silent house is usually a sign of mischief underway, so I stalk the rooms, peering through doorways and hunting for any sign of trouble. As I scan the bathroom I catch my daughter Emmie in front of the mirror, gazing at her reflection with a look of pure adoration.
She is glowing. And she is looking at herself. Closely. As she brushes her hair she turns her head and poses. She loves herself. She can see that she is beautiful – her gap toothed smile, her bright eyes and her little nose washed with freckles.
Watching her makes me so happy – until that happiness changes to worry. Emmie is only five, how long will her self love and acceptance last? A girl in her class is already using ‘you’re ugly’ as an insult. Even at five, the easiest way to hurt someone is to crack their confidence by criticising how they look.
Where does it come from? Where do we learn that the way to tear a girl’s heart is to tell her she is fat or ugly? Is it passed down from the older children until it reaches the school year? Is it the tv shows our kids watch or the books they read?
I know one show Emmie watched had a questionably thin lead – but I’m not sure there should be a divide between ‘fat’ or ‘thin’. Shouldn’t we simply encourage our children to be comfortable in their own skin and support their friends to be comfortable in theirs?
What can we do to show our children they should continue to love their bodies? And how can we do this authentically when most of us don’t love our own?
When I was younger, anyone caught looking in the mirror would be accused of loving themselves. That was one of the worst insults you could be given. Our generation was all about not having too high of an opinion of ourselves – and look where that’s gotten us.
Women who pick themselves apart, who struggle to find even a tiny part of our body that we love. We can’t accept ourselves. And heaven forbid we accept a compliment.
If beauty is the golden ticket then self-confidence is the platinum AMEX. It’s up to us to cultivate a generation of young people who can feel so happy in themselves that they don’t consider commenting on how others look, and especially not using looks or weight as an insult.
It needs to start with us and I’m going to start today. I will allocate five minutes each morning for Emmie and I to tell each other about a part of our body we love and why we love it. Things like, I love my arms because they are strong and they help me pick you up Emmie; or I love my legs because they help me to run fast.
There has to be other ways we can encourage our children to continue to love themselves and see beauty in every part of their body.
And I’m going to use every tactic I can find to keep that look of love on Emmie’s face for as many years as I can.
Evie Farrell is a single mother who explores the world with her five year old daughter Emmie. In 2016 they are hitting the road for a year’s travel through Asia. Follow them on Instagram at mumpacktravel and at mumpacktravel.com.au.
