Wednesday night’s episode of The Bachelor saw diehard fans in for a treat, when much adored alum Sam and Snezana Wood and Laura Byrne and Matty J Johnson made a return as “very special guests“.
Needless to say, the seven remaining love-hostages in the Bachelor harem lost their collective minds as two glimpses of their potential future-selves waltzed back in to the mansion with a man on their arm and a baby in their belly.
Yep, both Snez and Laura were glowing with both their Bachie victory, and the blush of pregnancy with Bachie babies Charlie Lane Wood and Marlie Mae Johnson at the time of filming and it was enough to drive at least one of the love-competitors to some low-key molestation.
Each love-thirsty competitor got to spend a little time with the two knocked-up alum, receiving their wisdom … and a little well-received judgement from the legend that is Laura.
“When I first met these two women, they were exactly like you,” Osher told the seven remaining gals.
“They were two women who had a dream, a dream of falling in love, a dream of finding someone they could spend the rest of their life with – it was a long shot but falling in love like that was worth the risk and for these ladies the risk absolutely paid off.”
As each woman took their turn with the reality-veterans, things got more than a little handsy when China aficionado, Kristen Czyszek stepped up to the plate, and fans were not happy.
WATCH: Kristen Czyszek goes in for the uninvited stomach grope. Continues after video …
With no prior warning and exactly zero permission, 24-year-old Kristen boldly leans in and places her hands on the stomachs of the Bach Pad’s pregnant guests.
And with that Twitter exploded.
“Did Kristen just reach for the belly without consent?” asked one shook viewer.
“Kristen!” cried another. “Do not go around touching pregnant people’s stomachs without permission! GAHHHHHH.”
Non-huggers and anyone who has previously laid down their bodies to the service of incubation were outraged by the space-invasion, and rightly so. As someone who fits neatly into both of those categories I can confirm ain’t nobody wants your hands on their mid-section without prior consent … or maybe ever.
We train our kids to ask permission before they pat a dog, but when it comes to pregnant women the concept of personal space seems foreign.
Sure, there may be moments in a person’s pregnancy where you are invited to place your hand on a stomach to feel a squirm or a kick, and the key word there is ‘invited’. It is completely up to the discretion of the individual whether or not they want to issue forth any such invitation.
Hot tip: You’re not entitled to touch anyone uninvited, pregnancy doesn’t negate that rule.
Uninvited groping is clearly a concept that Kristen had not considered before making the lunge that offended viewers, and quite possibly the to alum who had given their time to offer her up some advice that might keep the roses rolling in.
But she’s not alone. It’s definitely ‘a thing’. During pregnancy, and forever after, women are introduced to the concept of being ‘touched out’.
Not only is there a human literally inside your flesh taking up real estate where your internal organs previously resided, there are all manner of people who, day to day, need to touch, measure, inspect and palpate your mid section and nether regions.
Ultrasound techs, midwives, nurses, doctors, mother-in-laws and any woman over the age of 65 in the supermarket aisle are going to need to have a grope at some point. You’ve never seen so much action.
Everyone wants in on your space when there’s a baby brewing and aside from developing a kind of step-back with a karate chop combo to thwart the hands that come invading there’s not too much you can do to defend yourself. Ask Laura and Snez on that lounge.
So, to Kristen and anyone reading, sit on your hands if you have to, because the baby isn’t here yet. You’re not actually touching a baby, you’re touching a human.
If you really need to get physical maybe ask the if they need a foot massage or something. Or get them a snack. Now that would be useful.