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Lower kilojoule intake

Pump up the volume – how changes to the energy density of a meal can lower your kilojoule intake but still keep you satisfied.

Pump up the volume – how changes to the energy density of a meal can lower your kilojoule intake but still keep you satisfied. It’s simple, in scientific terms, eat less and you’ll lower your kilojoule intake! However, there’s no debate in the nutrition world about the failures of extreme diets that restrict your food intake, leave you ravenous with hunger and grieving over the loss of your favourite foods. In the long run they don’t work, as simply, they’re just not sustainable. If you’re trying to reduce your kilojoule intake to lose weight, what is important is the amount of kilojoules in a portion of food or the “energy density”. Foods can vary greatly in energy density. Those with a high energy density have lots of kilojoules in a small serving and are typically low in water content. On the other hand, foods with a low energy density have fewer kilojoules for the same weight or portion. A little less dense The idea is to make adjustments to the meals you currently enjoy to lower the energy density and save kilojoules. If you switch carbohydrate for fat in a food, you’ll lower the energy density or kilojoules per portion. Fibre is also a great addition, as it bulks out food and lowers the energy density without providing any kilojoules. And if you add water, you’ll in effect dilute the kilojoules and lower the energy density. Take grapes and sultanas as an example. For the same amount of kilojoules you can eat roughly ¼ cup of high energy density sultanas or close to two cups of lower energy density grapes with added water! Which would leave you feeling more satisfied? The best approach to lower the energy density of your diet is to include more foods and dishes high in water and fibre. The best place to start is to increase your fruit and vegetable intake, as these foods are naturally high in water and fibre. But you can also lower the energy density by eating more meals like soups and stews (casseroles) that have a high water content – just skip the sour cream garnish! For instance you might make it a rule to:

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Bindi, the Jungle Girl: Echindas

Bindi, the Jungle Girl: Echindas

Happy birthday, Your Majesty!

This month, Bindi shows off her favourite camel.

Pick up a copy of the November issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly to read more about echidnas and see below for information on how to ask Bindi your most pressing wildlife questions.

One of the most gorgeous, loveable creatures on the face of the earth would have to be the echidna. They have very sharp spines, called quills, over their back and sides, which they use for protection against predators. When they are scared, they will curl up, leaving only their quills exposed – this is great protection from being eaten. They also have a long, pointy nose for scavenging for insects, such as ants, to eat.

Echidnas have no teeth, but they do have a long tongue for catching insects. They have black, beady eyes and their hair feels like the bristles of a broom. Found throughout Australia in forests, meadows and even the desert, echidnas breed between July and August. One month later, the mother lays just one egg inside the pouch on her tummy. Ten days later, the baby hatches and starts to lick milk from its mummy.

These guys are classed as common, but they are threatened by habitat loss (we’re cutting down trees and burning areas where they live) and are often killed by cars and pet cats and dogs.

Remember, if you see an injured echidna, please call the Australian Wildlife Hospital on 1300 369 652, or your nearest wildlife care group. If you find a dead echidna or any other animal with a pouch, please ask your parents to check inside to see if there’s a baby still alive in there.

You can visit our six gorgeous echidnas at Australia Zoo on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast at their new enclosure in Grey Roo Heaven. You can also book in for an Echidna Encounter, where you can meet our four boys and two girls.

Bindi’s television show, Bindi: The Jungle Girl, screens on ABC TV on Wednesdays at 4.05pm.

Got a question for Bindi? Post it to Ask Bindi, The Australian Women’s Weekly, GPO Box 4178, Sydney, NSW 2001 or email [email protected].

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Macular degeneration

Best-selling Australian author and National Treasure, Colleen McCullough, has Macular Degeneration (MD) – the major cause of blindness in Australia.

Their love was forged in friendship and a shared loss, and for actress and author Tasma Walton husband Rove McManus has brought her a happiness she never knew.

Read about Colleen McCullough’s personal story in the June 2004 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly Best-selling Australian author and National Treasure, Colleen McCullough, has Macular Degeneration (MD) – the major cause of blindness in Australia. Today alone, more than 230 Australians will develop Macular Degeneration – and they won’t feel a thing. Like Colleen, these people will, over time, lose their central vision – the part of eyesight that’s needed for everything in daily life, such as writing, reading, watching TV, recognising faces, gardening and driving. And sight lost to Macular Degeneration can never be recovered. Macular Degeneration is a progressive eye condition whereby the macula – the place our sharpest central vision occurs – is attacked. Two-thirds of those registered as legally blind in Australia today are blind as a result of Macular Degeneration – and this number is set to treble over the next 25 years, if this epidemic is not addressed. For Colleen McCullough, the message is simple – “Don’t put it off. Make checking for Macular Degeneration a part of your routine”. “It’s an absolutely terrible sentence; really an awful thing to try and compensate for,” she says. “But I urge everyone to watch what they eat, try not to smoke and to have regular eye checks so that at least you give yourself a chance to prevent it.” If you’re over 50, have your eyes checked out for Macular Degeneration. There’s a lot you can do to make sure you don’t get Macular Degeneration, and to slow it down if you have it. Ways to reduce the risk of Macular Degeneration:

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Seven ways to soothe eye strain

At the end of a particularly exhausting day in 1900, Dr William Bates, a New York ophthalmologist, sat and placed his palms over his eyes. After 10 minutes, he noted that his eyes were not as sore...

At the end of a particularly exhausting day in 1900, Dr William Bates, a New York ophthalmologist, sat and placed his palms over his eyes. After 10 minutes, he noted that his eyes were not as sore and that things in the room seemed sharper and brighter. These observations led him to develop the Bates method, a system of “eyesight re-education” now widely taught by natural therapists who aim to improve eyesight without artificial aids. To keep your eyes in good shape, practise these exercises 5 to 10 minutes a day: 1. Palming Sit comfortably at a table, close your eyes and rest your elbows on the table. Rub your hands together briskly for 20 seconds or so, then cup your palms over your eyes, without applying any pressure. Keep your back and neck level and don’t drop your head. Do this for 10 minutes twice a day. Tip: If you use a computer, rest your eyes by palming for at least one minute for every 15 you estimate you are looking at the screen. 2. Remembering While palming, try to recall an object in the brightest possible colours. Bates found that remembering things in the mind’s eye helped patients to see them more clearly in reality. 3. Blinking Make dozens of delicate, butterfly blinks’ for 10 to 20 seconds, several times a day; as you do so, turn your head gently from left to right, and back again. 4. Shifting Pick out an object just out of your vision. Imagine your nose is a pointer, and move your head slowly and gently as you trace around the object’s outline with your nose. Repeat in the opposite direction. 5. Splashing Gently splash warm water over your closed eyes 20 times, then repeat 20 times with cold water to improve circulation to the eyes. Do first thing in the morning and last thing at night. 6. Swinging Stand with feet apart and sway gently from side to side (to music, if you like), allowing your eyes to ‘swing’ along with your movements. This helps your eyes to become more flexible. 7. Focusing Hold one index finger at arm’s length and the other about 6 in away from your face. Use both eyes to focus on one, then blink and focus immediately on the other; repeat several times a day.

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Exclusive extract: the peacock emporium

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Selected as the Great Read in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

1963: Framlington Hall, Norfolk

He looked perfect in black tie, of course. Unlike her father, whose stomach strained uncomfortably against his cummerbund like a wind-filled sail, Douglas simply looked taller and straighter, his shoulders square in the crisp dark cloth of his jacket, his skin thrillingly alive against the flat monochrome of his shirt. She thought he probably knew he looked handsome. When she’d told him so, jokingly, to hide the intensity of longing his appearance had provoked in her, he’d laughed gruffly and said he felt like a trussed-up fool. Then, as if embarrassed to have forgotten, he had complimented her too. ‘You scrub up pretty well, old girl,’ he said, putting his arm round her and giving her a brotherly squeeze. It wasn’t quite Prince Charming, but it was a touch. Vivi still felt it, radioactive on her bare skin.

‘Did you know we’re now officially snowed in?’

Alexander, Douglas’s pale, freckled schoolfriend, had brought her another drink. It was her third glass of champagne, and the paralysis she had initially felt, when confronted by the sea of glamorous faces before her, had evaporated. ‘What?’ she said.

He leant in so she could hear him over the noise of the band. ‘The snow. It’s started again. Apparently no one’s going to get past the end of the drive until they bring more grit tomorrow.’ He, like many of the men, was wearing a red coat. (‘Pink,’ he corrected her) and his aftershave was terribly strong, as if he hadn’t been sure how much to use.

‘Where will you stay?’ Vivi had a sudden picture of a thousand bodies camped on the ballroom floor.

‘Oh, I’m all right. I’m in the house, like you. Don’t know what the rest will do, though. Keep going all night, probably. Some of these chaps would have done that anyway.’

Unlike Vivi, most of the people she could see around her looked as if they stayed up until dawn as a matter of course. They all seemed so confident and assured, uncowed by the great surroundings. Their poise and chatter suggested there was nothing particularly special about being in this stately home, even though there was a fleet of minions whose only wish was to serve them food and drink, and that they were unaccompanied by chaperones on a night when boys and girls were likely to have to stay in the same house. The girls wore their dresses easily, with the insouciance of those for whom smart evening wear was as familiar as an overcoat.

The didn’t look like extras from a Disney film. Among the tiaras and pearls there were heavily outlined eyes, cigarettes, the occasional Pucci skirt. And despite the incongruous elegance of the wedding-cake ballroom, the many swirling ballgowns and evening dresses, it had not been long before the band had been persuaded to drop its playlist of traditional dances, and strike up something a little more modern &emdash; an instrumental version of ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ had sent girls squealing on to the dance-floor, shaking their elaborately coiffed heads and shimmying their hips, leaving the matrons on the sidelines to shake their own heads in perplexed disapproval, and Vivi to conclude, sadly, that she was unlikely to get her waltz with Douglas.

Not that she was sure he’d remembered his promise. Since they had come into the ballroom, he had seemed distracted, as if he were scenting something she didn’t understand. In fact, Douglas hadn’t seemed much like himself at all, smoking cigars with his friends, exchanging jokes she didn’t get. She was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about the imminent collapse of the class system – if anything, he looked disturbingly at home among the black ties and hunting coats. Several times she had tried to say something private to him, something that re-established their shared history, a degree of intimacy. At one point, boldly, she had made a joke about his smoking a cigar, but he hadn’t seemed particularly interested &emdash; had listened with what her mother always called ‘half an ear.’ Then as politely as he could he had rejoined the other conversation.

She had started to feel foolish, so had been almost grateful when Alexander had paid her attention. ‘Fancy a twist?’ he had said, and she had to confess that she had only learnt the classic dance steps. ‘Easy,’ he said, leading her on to the floor. ‘Stub a cigarette out with your toe, and rub a towel on your behind. Got it?’ He had looked so comical that she had burst out laughing, then glanced behind her to see whether Douglas had noticed. But Douglas, not for the first time that evening, had disappeared.

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Interview with Jojo Moyes

Jojo Moyes’ new book, The Peacock Emporium (Hodder & Stoughton) has been selected as the Great Read in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

**Q Congratulations on The Peacock Emporium, I really loved it!

A** Oh, did you? It is a bit deeper and darker than my previous books and I was a bit worried because it gets a bit brutal in the middle, but everyone who has read it so far seems to have really loved it.

**Q I felt the bit of darkness gives the story more density – depth?

A** Yes I agree with you. It’s odd though because some people you find, after Sheltering Rain (Jojo’s debut novel), they want you to write the same book again and again and I’ve had a lot of people say about the second one, ‘Oh! It’s very different.’ Well (laughing) and what do you want me to do?

**Q What kind of story did you want to write with The Peacock Emporium?

A** The Peacock Emporium almost happened by accident. I was signed to a two book deal by Hodder and the second of those books was the book I’m on the last part of now, called Ship of Brides. It is based on a true Australian story. My Grandmother is Australian. She was an Australian war bride. And the fictional story of her voyage over here was an extraordinary one. (It wasn’t like a normal war bride voyage). I really wanted to write this book which I had in my head but I knew it would be a huge book in terms of research so I kind of wasn’t ready to write it. So I thought I’d do the other book for Hodder first. I had in mind a light book and part of it was based on my times spent in a local coffee shop in my local town. Because I work from home I get quite lonely, and I found there was this odd little shop, part florist, part curio shop, part coffee shop where the town’s oddballs tended to congregate. And I found I’d end up there every lunchtime just chatting away to all these other freelance people and people who spent a lot of time by themselves. What I found is that the longer you sat in the shop, the more extraordinary the stories you heard. Some quite filthy! (laughing) I live in a quiet country market town and I heard some things in there which were quite shocking and it got me thinking about how Sophie who ran the shop, might not always want to hear some of the things that she had to hear as a kind of hostess. It got me thinking about the way people congregate and talk and I loved the identity of the shop which became a magical place that people came to depend on. So it started off as this quite light story and then it just grew and grew and grew and got bigger and deeper and darker and took in everything, from the riots in Argentina to modern marriage and how people get disappointed and don’t know what their expectations should be. And it became a much bigger book than I’d intended. So from thinking I was going to have almost a breather before my big Australian book, suddenly this thing took on a whole momentum of its own.

**Q Interesting how the local coffee shop sparked it all off?

A** Yes I think having a journalist history helped with that.

**Q You worked as arts and media commentator on The Independent Newspaper in the UK?

A** The useful thing about journalism is that it teaches you to shut up and listen and that is a really good tool as a writer because frankly I feel I could have a conversation with anyone and I think I could come out of it with a book at the end of it. There’s always something that is going to trigger you off.

**Q Do you get into trouble with your husband for listening into other people’s conversations when you are out?

A** (Laughing) It’s funny, my friends and family are quite cagey around me sometimes. Although I wouldn’t write anything about them. Mind you, people do see things in your writing you might not have intended and it makes me question myself quite hard: Is this a story I picked up sub-consciously? Is it something I should be using at all? And there is always this dilemma, between what you should do as a writer, which is basically quite a detached assessment of the way people’s feelings work and of the way people’s lives have spun out. And also your human, protective side which doesn’t want to use people’s situations to your own end. I find I struggle with that one still.

**Q People have a dread of being put into a book, don’t they?

A** Oh absolutely, but the flip side to that is that often people don’t recognise themselves at all. In fact my second book was inspired by a friend of mine who lies compulsively and she got me thinking about how lies can impact on people and how they might last 20 or 30 years. And I knew as I was writing this book that there was no way she was ever going to recognise herself because people don’t want to see the bad side of themselves, anyway. And she probably doesn’t even think she lies. The rest of us who have known her for 20 or 30years have never even challenged her.

**Q As arts and media correspondent, what kinds of things did you cover?

A** Everything, you never knew what you were doing from one day to the next. In fact it always makes me laugh because on the day I finally found I’d got this book deal at an auction, I was working at the newspaper, 6 months pregnant and as sick as a dog. The story I was given was about Jamie Oliver discussing the best way to stuff your turkey. So I was sitting there, my agent on one phone saying, ‘it’s just gone up to such and such an amount, you can write books for a living!’ And my news editor at the paper coming over to and saying, ‘come on, what is it – balls up it’s rear end or what?’

**Q You set out to be a Martin Amis, tried the voice and it didn’t work, but something in you made you not give up. I read that when you were pregnant and sick, you sent off 3 chapters of a completely different kind of book? And that one grabbed everyone?

A** I wrote 3 books in my spare time, such as it was, before I wrote Sheltering Rain. I think I was teaching myself to write because I’d never done an English degree or anything like that. Like a lot of people I just wanted to see if I could do it. If I could get to the end of a book. And then once you’ve done it, it’s not enough, you want to get it into print. I guess I was writing chick lit before it really hit the stands. But it was more male kind of writing. Sharper, more urban, clever, witty and no emotions came into it. I think it was partly a reaction to working in journalism, it’s a very macho world. You don’t show your feelings and you don’t show weakness. I worked in that world an awful long time and I grew up in a macho world, as my dad had a fleet of lorries. So I grew up around lorry drivers. I don’t know, I suppose female emotions felt like an anathema to me. But the bottom line is they weren’t getting published. Everyone liked the writing but they all said the same thing, too romantic for the male market and too political for the female market. I was very indignant at the time. Then I got very sick with Harry. It was morning sickness but all day and all night. I was on instant mashed potato every three hours for weeks on end. I can’t look at a packet of mash now without feeling sick. I was pretty depressed. My husband took me away on holiday to Cornwall and I had a couple of books, chick lit things which I threw down in disgust. Then I picked up a Maeve Binchy in a shop. I thought ‘I won’t enjoy this, it’s kind of old lady fiction.’ And I was really impressed by it. I thought, it has a real story, it’s full of humanity and I guess it made me realise that feeling emotions in a book weren’t necessarily something to be ashamed of. Perhaps with a bit of that in mind I started Sheltering Rain. I sent 3 chapters of it off to my agent and then had a complete crisis of confidence and thought why did I do that? I sent an apologetic email to her and it was funny, she had laryngitis at the time and she sent me an email back that read in capital letters, MORE! Ultimately it went off to 7 publishers and I think 6 of them bid. I suddenly realised that that was the thing that could work for me. Lots of publishers were looking for something like that because the big saga writers, Rosamunde Pilcher, Binchy, Elizabeth Jane Howard, were talking about writing their last books and there were an awful lot of publishers going, ‘oh, crikey!’ So it was my good fortune to pick up that Maeve Binchy. I think it is about timing as much as anything.

**Q I think a lot of people under-estimate Maeve Binchy as a writer?

A** Yes I have a lot of respect for her and it’s like a quality anything, you pick up one of those books and you know exactly what you’re going to get and I mean that in the best sense, not in any derogatory way. I don’t write like her. I think I have a slightly younger, slightly darker take on some things. Still, some of her books are about some pretty tough subjects. Madness and loss and death and so on. I think some Rosamunde Pilcher book I read killed off some angelic child in the first couple of chapters. I thought ok, right, this is not quite cosy teapots and fluffy slippers.

**Q Is that a baby I can hear in the background?

A** No I’m afraid it is a cat. We took in a cat from an animal rescue home, but she’s turned out to be the noisiest animal I’ve come across.

**Q I’ve got two kittens here who are playing up something terrible while I do this interview, so if I sound a bit distracted at times, forgive me.

A** Oh God, 2 kittens! Good luck! How did you get 2?

**Q I didn’t really realise what I was doing at the time.

A** I know that feeling, that’s how I’ve ended up with 2 horses, Ben and Wiggles and chickens and a cat.

**Q You live in a semi rural area?

A** We’re very rural. We don’t even appear on some maps. When I got my first book deal and I was still pregnant with Harry we moved out of London. It was a good excuse, we’d been desperate to do it for ages.

**Q What’s the size of your land?

A** About 3 acres. By your standards it would be an allotment, but as British land goes, it’s pretty nice.

**Q Do you live in a cottage?

A** We live in a Victorian red brick house, next to a duck farm (laughing). It’s called the Vine House because it had a vine growing all over the inside of it, in the conservatory.

**Q You have two children?

A** Yes Saskia is 6 and Harry is 3.

**Q What’s your background – your Dad owned lorries?

A** It wasn’t a straightforward trucking company, it was a fine art removal company. He used to install exhibitions at the Parliament and Buckingham House and stuff. The best part of it for me as a child was he had these huge warehouses where you could store art and he used to store a lot of Paul McCartney’s stuff, so I’d be wondering around as a 10 year old, in Sergeant Pepper uniforms or past a David Hockney. And to me, it would be completely normal. But it was a great place to get lost and use your imagination.

**Q Where did you grow up?

A** In London, I was a real city kid, knew the whole of the London bus network, off by heart. I mainly lived in Hackney which was an unlovely eastern, inner-city part of London. But I bought a horse very early when I was 14 and I used to keep it in a funny little old yard behind Hackney Town Hall and ride him around the London parks. I think my parents (laughing) realised then that I was someone who was going to get my own way, one way or another.

**Q Siblings?

A** My parents re-married when I was in my early teens, so I now have 2 half-sisters on my dad’s side, aged 12 and 14, a half-brother on my mum’s side who is 14 and 2 step-brothers on my step-dad’s side who are in their 40’s. So having been an only child till I was 19, I now have this odd, but wonderful extended family. We’re all pretty close.

**Q Were you a difficult teenager?

A** I think I was probably your bog standard horrible adolescent. My mum always says that if my worst form of rebellion was working for peanuts in a mini cab office, that was pretty ok. I think if you know you’re loved you come back to the fold pretty quickly. Plus my parents and my step-dad are pretty impressive people. I think you’re lucky to be able to admire your parents as well as love them.

**Q Mother’s occupation?

A** Illustrator of children’s and adult books and magazines. She’s probably most famous for her illustrations on a brand of Yorkshire tea which has become a best-selling tea caddy. So my parents were both involved in different sides of the art world. But I went into words, just refused to go into pictures and therefore, into competition with them.

**Q (To the kitten) Lily, STOP IT! Sorry Jojo!

A** That’s alright, it’s quite comforting, sounds like my house.

**Q How long have you been married?

A** Six years this year. We’ve been together for 8. He’s the technology editor of The Independent and his name is Charles Arthur.

**Q Back to the Peacock Emporium, I loved the character, the rich and spoiled Athene and wondered what inspired her?

A** In journalism you’re so afraid of exaggerating things. So if anything I think my fiction plays it a bit safe when it comes to character. I’m wary of doing people who are too extreme. I just wanted to create someone who was a bit larger than life and quite naughty and once you start writing those sorts of people you often find they take off with the book. They are so enjoyable to write and often, the best sorts of characters don’t necessarily do what you expect them to do. Athene was such fun to write because she was all the things I would love to be in my late teens had I had half the guts to do it. There’s a scene where she rides that horse into the party and I could see every second of that scene. It’s all there in a picture in your head and all you’re doing is joining the dots on the paper. What I really don’t want to do is to create a two dimensional baddie. People are never that simple. What I feel about life in general is that most people tend to believe that they are good people doing the right thing, no matter what damage they do. (Look at Tony Blair!) It would have been too easy to hate Athene. To just make her an out and out selfish person. I enjoy subverting the reader’s expectations and also writing that last scene with Athene made me weep because as a mother, what she was doing even if she was the hardest most selfish person in the world, made me cry. I think to write your characters you have to inhabit them to a certain extent. I’d have to go away for half an hour before I could come back to another character, because I’d need to be in them and they have a different way of speaking and thinking and behaving. Sometimes you need to create physical space.

With Athene I felt that she needed to haunt the whole book as well, which I think she did both physically through her portrait but also because it was such an extreme thing to do. I think anybody would be asking themselves the whole way through the story, how could she have done that? How could she have caused so much damage?

**Q The story also begins with the handing over of a baby in Argentina where the couple are too poor to keep their baby – what made you write this scene?

A** I have a friend who went to live in Buenos Aires and I was hearing from her a lot about what was going on there … And it was quite shocking to me to hear the level to which ordinary middle class people had sunk into this mire of poverty and political violence. And I guess once I started writing this book, (which is set in a cosy, market town not dissimilar to where I live), just because it is commercial fiction I didn’t want it to get too cosy.

I’m interested in the way we treat people who are outside of our own experiences. And Alejandro is so foreign, just by being there he makes people asks questions of themselves. Almost in the same way Athene did. I thought not just having him as a foreign love interest, but by taking the reader outside this cosy world into something a bit grittier, gave the book more meat so people could get their teeth into it. The books I like tend to take people to somewhere they’ve never been. The books I’ve been mad about have been about places I never have a hope of getting to, like Memoirs of a Geisha and the Alexander McCall Smith books – who’d have thought we’d be interested in a female detective in Botswana and we are all gripped! So I thought I’d include these little insights from that extraordinary time in Argentina’s history. Also when my friend told me about the mothers of the Disappeared in Argentina, it had a resonance about the loss of maternal love and this punctuated the beginning, middle and end by the handing over of the baby. It just seemed to fit together quite nicely.

**Q Are impoverished women in Argentina actually giving up their babies?

A** It has happened. And in Argentina’s history, up until 20 or so years ago, there has been terrible controversy over the stealing and handing over of babies.

**Q They were taken by the military, not given, weren’t they?

A** Exactly. But there was such poverty, with what was going on two years ago I thought it wasn’t a situation beyond the realms of possibility.

**Q You were born in 1969 – what month?

A** August 4.

**Q Leo then?

A** Yes.

**Q I’m asking this because we publish a fact file on you in the mag and I like to put some trivia in.

A** I know your magazine because of course my grandmother being Australian is familiar with it. You ran a review of my last book Foreign Fruit.

**Q Yes and we mis-named it Forbidden Fruit. Sorry!

A** (Laughing) I thought more people might have bought it!

**Q How old is your grandmother now?

A** She’s 82 and she’s going to be so excited when I tell her about this. She was thrilled enough when the Wagga Wagga Advertiser did a review of my book Sheltering Rain. My grandmother is such an inspiration. In fact she went to Russia two years ago because she’d never been. She’s that kind of a woman. She’s inspired two books now.

**Q What part of Australia did your Grandmother come from?

A** Waverley in Sydney. I’m coming next year to publicise my book, the one based on my grandmother’s experiences. I have to say Australia has been brilliant for me. I’ve just sold more and more in Australia so I’m really keen to get out there. I hope Peacock will appeal more to people than Sheltering Rain, because I realised that if you don’t like horses and hunting and mud and rain, you’re just going to be turned right off.

**Q That’s not true, I don’t like any of those things and I loved Sheltering Rain.

A** You know that was inspired by my grandmother and grandfather, because they got engaged after knowing one another only two weeks? He was a Scottish naval officer and they met at a party for the Royal Navy in Sydney in 1945. It makes you wonder how they managed to stay committed, having known one another only two weeks, then not seeing each for a year? Then aged 23 she left her family and came over to England where she knew noone except my grandfather.

She’s the most generous natured person I’ve ever met in my life. And I just thought, ‘why did that generation feel able to make those sorts of commitments, when I can’t commit to a brand of hair conditioner! What is going on?’ And that’s sort of what started Sheltering Rain. Maybe we have too many choices? I don’t know.

**Q Is Jojo your real name or is it a nickname?

A** I’m Jo on my birth certificate but when I was born I was almost 3 months premature. My Mum was a massive Beatles fan and there was a song at the time called Get Back, which has a line in it about Jojo. And it apparently stuck.

**Q Where were you educated?

A** Two State schools and two private schools. I started at State (a little church one called St Mary’s) school and one day when Mum dropped in unexpectedly, she found I’d been left teaching the rest of the class while the teacher had gone out to have a fag or something. She took me out of school that same day. Then I went to a strange new private school where there were only about 8 pupils. It was run by a very progressive teacher who we called Mog. And it was the making of me. It was very creative and it felt very safe for a child who’d grown up in quite a rough area. And through being there I managed to get into good private schools for my secondary education. And I went to London’s School For Girls, one of the top girls’ schools but I’m afraid I didn’t do very well there because it was kind of rigid, very formalised. It wasn’t me. I managed to get my ‘O’ levels but then I left and went to a State school, Camden School For Girls, to get my ‘A’ levels. It’s quite well known in the English education system for raising quite Bolshie, creative girls. Emma Thompson went there, so it’s that kind of a gel really. By the time I left there I was truanting regularly and just being a real teenage pain so I went off after that and got a job.

**Q What as?

A** A mini cab controller in a mini cab office. Then I went to a bank typing statements in Braille for blind people. I can still read Braille. So I did that for about 18 months and then I went to work for a notorious holiday company called Club 18-30. Basically holidays for wild young things. My job was to go over with a photographer and write about hotels and try to persuade punters, sorry customers, to arrange themselves nicely for photos for a brochure. Which taught me a great deal about tact, diplomacy and how to hide a tattoo behind a pillar, so perhaps it wasn’t so bad after all.

**Q How did you get from there to The Independent newspaper?

A** At university I worked for a local newspaper, and from there managed to win a bursary awarded by The Independent to train young journalists. I basically moved into The Independent’s offices and made endless cups of tea until they agreed to take me on. In the end I was there nine years.

**Q Jojo loves..?

A** Riding my horse, goofing around with my kids, I don’t know, I’m just grateful to be living a life I love. I really like writing. Maybe all those jobs gave me a good work ethic. I write 1000 words a day. Also, both my parents are incredibly hard working and built successful careers from nothing. My earliest memories are of sitting under my mum’s desk playing while she worked. She would paint at night and look after me in the day. I’m not entirely sure when she slept. My father built a multi-million dollar business, complete with royal warrant, from a bashed up old Renault van. I think I have inherited something of a Protestant work ethic from the two of them. Even when I was working long days at The Independent, I would come home, put my daughter to bed, eat supper and then do a couple of hours writing. I think anyone who suffers serious writers’ block hasn’t done enough crappy jobs.

**Q First person to read your manuscript?

A** My husband, whose a hard critic but a very good one. I should add I couldn’t do any of this without an understanding husband. The domestic side of life tends to suffer when I get ¾ into a book. And I ALWAYS fall in love with my leading men, although I think he feels it’s a pretty safe sort of infidelity.

**Q Finish the sentence, Jojo dislikes

A** Cruelty, plastic surgery, mucking out the stables every morning, not having an extra two hours in the day.

**Q And Jojo thinks..

A** The harder I work, the luckier I get.

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Ten ways to deal with grief

Ruth Ostrow is a journalist and has compiled these tips after interviews and personal experiences with counsellors. They are not intended as a substitute for seeking proper grief counselling, professional help, or medical advice.

Ruth Ostrow is a journalist and has compiled these tips after interviews and personal experiences with counsellors. They are not intended as a substitute for seeking proper grief counselling, professional help, or medical advice. 1. Seek grief counselling or professional help Your heart is sore and needs to heal. An experienced practitioner can offer you guidance and support. 2. Time Give yourself permission to grieve as long and as powerfully as you need. 3. Understand your reactions Understand and accept that grief includes all sorts of reactions not normally associated with grief. According to prominent grief counsellors Mal and Dianne McKissock, these reactions may include escapist behaviour, excessive partying, shopping, or sexual activity, as well as being shut down, unemotional, over-emotional, angry, relieved, or confused. 4. Accept your reactions Whatever your reaction is may be typical of how you react when under great stress. According to the McKissocks, these defence mechanisms are formed when we are children. If you responded to pain or fear as a child by running off on your bicycle, becoming loud and rebellious, or by hiding, that is likely to be how you will handle grief. Accept these reactions as normal. 5. Try not to be judgemental of self or others Counsellors advise people to accept that grief will be personal to their particular situation. A person who was close to a late spouse will grieve differently to one who was not. Grief for a parent is different from grief for a child. There are no rules, all feelings are okay. 6. There is no time limit on grief 7. Grief will change over time Just as it is advised to allow feelings to be intense without feeling guilty, counsellors also suggest people allow feelings to slowly subside without feeling guilty. 8. Reflect When you are over the shock of the death, it is often meaningful to do a ritual to help you say what you need to say for closure. Write a letter or do a piece of art, go into the garden or a sacred place, light a candle, speak your words or feelings out loud, speak your truth to the spirit of the beloved, and then bury your token letter or object in a special place. 9. Honour the relationship Personally, I give myself permission to talk to those I love who have passed on, asking for guidance in times of need and sharing special moments. This helps me to honour the relationship we shared and eases my grief. 10. Don’t be afraid to move on Grief counsellors advise not be frightened to let go and move on. One day, you will want to. It isn’t abandoning your loved one or their memory. It is a sacred pledge to continue living, and it is what the departed would want of you. Ruth Ostrow is the author of Sacred & Naked (Hardie Grant Publishers, $29.95), available from all major bookstores. www.ruthostrow.com

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Exclusive extract: do you come here often?

Selected as the Great Read in the May issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

It was just after 9 a.m. Eight hours after Grace had arrived home last night, let herself in and discovered the stereo on, some opera or other blaring loudly, and Spencer crashed out on the sofa. Arms dangling, thighs splayed, his trousers ridden up his leg to expose a hairy calf muscle, his mouth hanging open. He’d been snoring as well. And not just any old snoring, but a loud, phlegmy, boozy, smoker’s rattle – grroink-grroink-grroink-grroink – as if a stick was being dragged along the railings.

Flicking off the stereo, she’d looked down at him, and instead of feeling angry she felt only sadness. Sadness that she’d grown used to seeing Spencer arrive home drunk, watching him getting out the Glenfiddich for “just a nightcap”, selecting a CD from his beloved opera collection, turning up the volume until her votive candles on the shelf rattled in their frosted glass containers. She was used to his “second wind”, him looning it up in the living room, waving his arms around as if he was a conductor. Singing at the top of his voice like Pavarotti, before collapsing onto the sofa.

Then there’d be the silence. The heavy breathing. Her realization that he’d passed out. That she was going to have to try and wake him up, steer him stumbling and staggering into the bedroom where he’d belly-flop onto the bed, and she’d begin the lengthy process of undressing him. First would be his shoes, then his trousers, until finally she’d cover him with the duvet, climbing in beside him and lie with her eyes wide open, staring at the dark ceiling until finally she fell asleep.

But not this time. This time she’d left him where he’d passed out, had gone into the bedroom and in the silent, spacious luxury of having the king-size all to herself, spread out like a starfish. She’d slept soundly. Whereas most people might have lain awake for hours, mulling over what had happened, Grace’s mind automatically switched off as soon as it hit a duckdown pillow.

Until she’d woken that morning, jumped out of bed and tramped across the common. Somehow she’d ended up in a coffee shop and she’d perched herself on a stool by the window, absent-mindedly watching the invasion of McClaren baby buggies, gazing out of the window and flicking idly through the Saturday morning newspapers. She hadn’t bothered to read anything. She couldn’t concentrate. Everything was all churned up.

“You didn’t even call to see if I was OK,” said Grace, looking accusingly across at Spencer.

“I tried your mobile but it was switched off. That’s why I came to look for you,” he protested quickly.” I wasn’t talking about this morning,” gasped Grace.

“Oh, yeah…” he muttered, running his fingers through his rumpled hair. Gazing at her, he shrugged remorsefully. “I don’t blame you for being angry.”

But that was just it, thought Grace, she was a whole lot of things but angry wasn’t one of them. She looked across at Spencer. Was it really only four years ago she’d first laid eyes on him? He’d been standing right next to her, at a bar, and when he’d chatted her up and asked her out she’d said yes. And, eighteen months later, when he’d asked her to marry him it was a foregone conclusion. Well, that’s how relationships are supposed to work, aren’t they?

Except this one wasn’t working any more, thought Grace, gazing at Spencer. Sitting opposite her he was cricking his neck, trying to read the upside down sports headlines on the newspaper that lay on the table in front of her.

“We need to talk.” Her voice was quiet but determined.

He looked up. “About last night, look, I know…”

But this time Grace was determined not to be interrupted. “No, it’s not just about last night.”

“It’s not?”

Grace couldn’t believe he actually seemed surprised. “It’s about lots of things.” She paused, wondering where to start and then deciding to start with the most obvious. “One of them being why, after being engaged for two years, we’re still not married.”

For a split second he hesitated. It was just a beat. A heartbeat. One breath. The time it takes for your eyelashes to sweep lightly down against your cheek in a blink. To most people it wouldn’t have been discernible, they would never have noticed, but Grace wasn’t most people. And she did notice.

“You know why,” he began, launching into their speech. “Because we’ve been busy, and we were going to finish doing up the flat, it’s going to cost a small fortune to do that extension…”

“Spence, this is me you’re talking to,” cut in Grace. She knew the speech so well, she’d written the bloody thing. “What are we waiting for, Spence? Forget all this organization rubbish, why don’t we elope? We could fly off to Vegas next weekend and have an Elvis wedding, or go to Barbados and do it barefoot on the beach.” Getting carried away, it was as if saying her marriage vows was like saying abracadabra and waving a magic wand and all her nagging doubts would disappear. Her voice trailed off as she caught Spencer’s expression. He was staring at her, bemused by her suggestion of something so spontaneous. Leaning closer, he put his arms around her, his forehead leaning against her. “We’re OK as we are, aren’t we?” he murmured, kissing her gently, his stubble brushing against her top lip.

Held close in an embrace, his face nuzzling her neck, all the upset, the worry, the anger, the fear faded away. This felt safe and snug and familiar. Closing her eyes, Grace rested her cheek on the soft curls of his hair. It would be so easy to slip back into the status quo. To just forget about last night, record over it as if it was a blank videotape. But she wasn’t going to.

“No we’re not OK. I’m not OK.” Pulling away, she shook her head. Because it wasn’t really about last night, about her birthday, about him getting drunk, about him leaving her. It wasn’t even just about their engagement. It was about everything. About that black dress he’d “suggested” she wore, the drunken jokes she’d heard a hundred times before, the weekly trips she had to make to the bottle bank with his empties, the photograph in the snowglobe of the couple skating in Central Park. The couple she no longer recognised.

“This isn’t what I want,” she confessed sadly.

Spencer frowned. Lulled into thinking everything had been sorted out, that he’d been forgiven and everything was back to normal, he was surprised. And annoyed. “Is this your way of giving me an ultimatum?”

Was it? Grace wavered.

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Eating well to beat stress

Increase your resistance to stress with a healthy, balanced diet.

Increase your resistance to stress with a healthy, balanced diet. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER Drinking six to eight glasses of water a day is essential. Water facilitates all the chemical reactions in your body. It helps carbohydrates, proteins and fats release energy, as well as speeding up the movement of nutrients. EAT A VARIETY OF FOODS Vegetables and fruit contain naturally occurring substances known as phyto-chemicals, believed to interfere with the processes that cause cancer and heart disease. People who eat a wide variety of food are healthier, live longer and have a reduced risk of developing illnesses such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes. EAT MOST OF THESE FOODS

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Interview with Alexandra Potter

Alexandra Potter’s latest book, Do you Come Here Often? (Black Swan) has been selected as the Great Read in the May issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

**Q What kind of book did you set out to write?

A** I was interested in the idea of people in relationships for a long period of time who for one reason or another, wake up one morning, look at their partner think, ‘I’m not in love with this person any more. I thought they were Mr Right and actually, they’re Mr Wrong.” And what happens? Do you stay with this person? Do you leave and hope you’re going to find somebody else? I’m 33 and a lot of my friends say it’s very difficult being single again in your thirties and forties. I thought that’s a really interesting idea of what it’d be like to be in the place they call The Desert. They keep saying, it’s a dating desert out there.

But I didn’t just want to write a book aimed at my age range because Mum reads my books and so do her friends. So there are two characters in there in their fifties, Maggie and her partner Sonny. There are six main characters and they are all very different. Some of it is very funny. Other aspects, such as what happens to Maggie, is very serious. I wanted to explore everyone’s different views on love, falling in love, living happily ever after. Because at the end of the day I think that’s what everybody hopes for. To meet the person that they’re going to spend the rest of their life with.

**Q Do you believe women are still looking for that despite the high divorce rate and all the other options there are for women these days?

A** Yes. The main character Grace, does leave her fiancé and is single again. And it’s about how terrible it all is and yet how brilliant it is. Because she does actually meet the man of her dreams, who is actually an old boyfriend. At the very end she has realised that it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong man. So even though very much we all want to meet Mr Right, if you don’t meet him it is better to be single than in a relationship that doesn’t feel right.

**Q A talkback radio show for the lovelorn is a link throughout your book – is that because such a lot of people nowadays are more likely to use something like that or a dating agency or an online matchmaker to meet someone?

A** Yes. I think it’s very interesting that we work at our careers, we have to work at our appearances and do serious research and thinking before buying a house. Anything like that we have to employ a strategy and work at it. But with love we think it’s just going to happen. That we’re going to waltz down the street and cupid’s going to fire his arrow and we will suddenly fall in love. But if we approach it like finding a job or buying a house, then we will do something like join a dating agency or ring up talkback show for singles. And it shouldn’t be looked upon as being sad or unromantic, it’s just a way of meeting someone. Because it’s very hard to meet people, especially the older you get. It’s not like it was in your twenties and everyone’s hanging out in gangs.

When I was writing this book I became single again.

**Q But didn’t you have a boyfriend for like seven years?

A** When I started writing this book, fiction started becoming fact. I became the main character in the book. I was suddenly single again, and I discovered was in Couplesville. The weekends became hard. Everyone was with a partner and I was like, ‘oh! What do I do now?’ It’s hard to meet people. The idea for the radio show came about because I was driving home and just tuned in to a radio show by accident and starting hearing this talk-back program where people were looking for Mr Right, or Mrs Right. I drove up outside my apartment and I kept my engine running and sat there listening to it. I thought that was such a good idea to use as a backdrop for the book because everyone likes it. Listening to people’s letters being read out is like reading from a diary, because people are quite personal when they’re writing a letter. And when they ring in, you can’t see what they look like, you can just hear they’re voice. And that’s a good thing because a lot of the time we base a lot on what people look like. I don’t think it should be like that so much.

**Q Like Grace, did you suddenly find Mr Right had become Mr Wrong?

A** (Snort of laughter). It’s quite funny because it was a slow process, although you don’t admit it to yourself. So things start going on in your relationship but you don’t pick up on it, yet you’re quite, generally unhappy. It was just like…I don’t know, it was like an epiphany. You just one day, something happens and you ‘think this isn’t right.’ And al those little clues that happened over the past years ultimately come into focus and you think ‘I’m not with the right person.’ But then what do you do? I was very much with someone I did love. We were supposed to be getting married and he was my best friend, so it’s not like we were fighting or he had an affair. We were very comfortable and it’s a very difficult decision to make to walk away or stay in a relationship. I’m very much the hopeless romantic, maybe I’m living in a dream world but I want this great, can’t live without you love. And I thought this isn’t what I’ve got here. So I decided to leave. But it was still very, very painful. Breaking up is a difficult thing to do and I write about it in my book. Everyone thinks you watch Four Weddings and a Funeral and cry a bit and drink some chardonnay and play I Will Survive and you get over it. But it’s very hard. You’ve got to find your own flat to live in, all sorts of things. It’s much, much harder than you think.

**Q And how are you now?

A** I actually fell in love.

**Q No!

A** I did I did, I really do think my book is coming true. I finished the book and went to see my sister who lives in Los Angeles. I was there for a few months and I met a man and I fell in love. It was like ‘wow!’ I didn’t think it would happen again but it did. I’m really, really happy at the moment. Fingers crossed.

**Q Is he American?

A** He’s Israeli but grew up in New York. Has a great sense of humour, like Australians, which a lot of people from LA don’t have. I lived in Australia for a year, 1998-1999. I worked at a couple of magazines and started writing features there. I absolutely loved Australia. I made some brilliant friends, but unfortunately one night I was out, crossing Oxford Street (Sydney) and I got knocked down by a car. And would you believe, people laugh when I tell this story (even though I broke my shoulder and I had to fly back to England for an operation), but it was being driven by a couple of nuns! They weren’t wearing habits but it was two nuns who knocked me down. It was just one of those mad things. So I had to leave Sydney because I wanted to have the operation in the UK so I could be near my parents. So I stayed in England and never came back except for a quick visit for the first time just before Christmas to catch up with friends and see my publisher, Random House. I was there for the Rugby World Cup, which was great.

**Q Did the accident happen at night-time?

A** Yes. I was in Oxford St Paddington, had been out for dinner and was trying to hail a cab and I was crossing the road. I don’t know what happened. I woke up and I was in an ambulance and apparently I’d been hit by these two nuns. They must have got the shock of their life because I went through the windscreen. They were quite elderly nuns so they probably couldn’t see very well and I was wearing black at the time. Trying to be a fashionista.

**Q You’re very lucky to be alive?

A** Very much so, I think I’m like a cat. I’m down to about seven lives now.

**Q How is your new relationship going to work with you in London and your boyfriend in LA?

A** I just got a writer’s visa for America so I am going back there in few weeks, to be with him. I am writing my next book Be Careful What You Wish For. Maybe(laughing), that’s significant. I keep thinking how you wish for all these things and when they come true, you think hmmm! ‘I didn’t really want that.’ But I’m going back to America and writing the next book and will hopefully live happily ever after.

**Q Are you moving in together?

A** No I’m going to stay with my sister. I’m dreadful because I fall in very quickly, head over hells, but I thought I’d try to be very sensible and go and live with my sister for a while and take it very slowly. And see what happens. Being a writer is a huge bonus because you can write anywhere.

**Q I read you wanted to be a writer since you were 6 and wondered if anything happened back then that triggered the desire?

A** I’m from a little place in England called Bradford which is where the Bronte sisters grew up and when I was little I vividly remember being taken to the Bronte Parsonage in a tiny village in the Yorkshire Dales. And my Mum told me the story for Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre. In the museum they had the little books that as children they would write stories in. Miniature books and that struck a chord with me and I remember going home and trying to write one of these little books myself. From then on I was always writing short stories and trying to write books. So I’ve always wanted to write a book but it was very much a dream. I didn’t think someone like me could. I thought you had to be somebody special. And it was only when I got older and I was working as a Sub-Editor on a magazine and working on a feature about 6 twenty-something women who had written their first novel that I realised if they could do it, so could I. So I had a bash at a book and it was my first one, What’s New Pussycat. I never had to go back to a day job again. I sold the film rights to Working Titles who made Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill, and they wanted Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham to play the lead. The main character was a woman called Delilah who was a huge Tom Jones fan. They thought it would be great for Posh but she went off and had a baby and nothing happened. And I sold the film rights to the third book, Calling Romeo, so at the moment they’re writing the screenplay of that. We’ll have to see what happens.

**Q This is your fourth book?

A** Yes, it’s really weird, I can’t believe it. I’m writing book five. It seems unbelievable, it was always my big dream to write novels. When a dream comes true sometimes you have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s happened.

**Q I imagine it’s also harder then you thought it would be?

A** Yes the first book is very easy. You’ve got so much to write because you’ve never written a book before. And of course you’re always trying to make the next one better. Trying to be original. Different. And of course you’re using up your ideas so you need to be having lots of experiences. It’s very much a job. You sit there every day, 9-5. Or whatever hours you work. People think you wander around being hit with inspiration, but it’s not the glamorous job they think. I sit in my little back bedroom, at a desk, writing. It’s a job like anything else.

**Q How many brothers and sisters do you have?

A** Only my older sister. She moved out to LA when she was 18. She’s about 36 now.

**Q Parents’ professions?

A** Mother was a school secretary and my father had engineering firm. They’re retired now. As a child, my Grannie looked after me because mum went out to work. In Calling Romeo one of the main characters is an 80 year old called Violet who was very much my grandmother. She was the lady I knew until I was about 5 years old.

**Q Who reads your finished manuscripts first?

A** My editor. I’m very private and secretive. A lot of authors I know write chapter by chapter and give it to their partner or friends. I write the whole book. Nobody sees it. I am my own worst critic, constantly thinking ‘oh this is rubbish and I don’t want anyone to read it.’

**Q Are you good at concentrating when you’re writing?

A** I get terribly distracted. I’ll do anything. The washing up. Clean up my wardrobe. I have to be really firm with myself and lock myself away.

**Q Date of birth?

A** May 8, 1970, a typical Taurean.

**Q What’s that?

A** They love food. Very romantic. Quite stubborn. Very loyal. We take a long time to do things and make decisions but we’re quite tenacious. If we start something we always finish it.

**Q Finish the sentence Alexandra Potter loves…?

A** I love, ooh gosh – I love shopping. I’m dreadful. I’m a big walker. I do a lot of light exercise. I go running for half an hour every day – my father’s a fitness fanatic and I think I got it off him. Since I’ve been in California the new man lives near the sea, so that’s great I can get up and run along the beach. I recently got into yoga. I love eating out. Travelling. I’m a big cinema fan. A lot of the way I write is very visual. I love films like Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally, the feel good movies. I really want to write books that when you finish the last page, you have that warm feeling. So when I write my books they are very visual. And of course I do different characters from different points of view. It’s like you’re watching a movie really. I think that’s probably why a couple of my books have been optioned for films. I love going to the movies and the new man I’ve met in America he works on films, so that’s great. Because he’s always getting DVDs and free movie tickets. He’s a feature film editor. He’s worked on two Oscar nominated ones. Almost Famous. And also a film called The Bourne Identity which I confess I haven’t seen. The first time he took his mum to the Oscars, the second time he took his dad. He had to wear a tuxedo and go in a limo.

**Q Is he handsome.

A** I think he’s very handsome, yes.

**Q Finish the sentence, Alexandra Potter dislikes?

A** I don’t like red wine, hate cruelty to animals (I’m a vegetarian), dislike chocolate which is a really bizarre thing – I don’t have a sweet tooth. Much more a cheese crackers kind of person. I’m the person digging into the camembert which is very good for my hips – huh! I don’t like cheating men. That’s my bugbear because it’s seemed to happen to a lot of my girlfriends recently. Not into men who are cads. And I don’t like bad weather. I hate the rain and grey skies of London.

**Q What do people call you?

A** My grandparents used to call me Alexandra, my parents call me that when I’m being told off. My friends call me Alex. Really close friends call me Al.

**Q Your boyfriend?

A** He calls me Alex. He says it in a very American way. Alexandra is my grown up name.

**Q Despite the ups and downs of the main character, your book has a whiff of optimism about it – where does that stem from?

A** The funny thing is I think of myself as a pessimist. Everyone always says to me, ‘Alex you’re such a worrier.’ Such a pessimist. I’m very much my glass is always half empty. But I guess in writing you can create this world that you would love to be in where everything you would like to happen, happens. And so in my writing I’m very optimistic. Everything I would love to happen, happens in my books. I mean I really do believe you can meet someone and live happily ever after for the next 40 years.

**Q Despite the high divorce rate?

A** I do believe in love. I believe it can happen. When you go for walks in the park and you see an old couple on a park bench holding hands, it’s so incredibly sweet and I really want to write about that because in real life there’s an awful lot of horrible things and sadness. And there’s a lot of brilliant things that go on. Really happy, joyful things happen to people and I want to write about that. At the end of the day, we all want to live happily ever after and we can!

They say two marriages in three fail, well, I want to write about that one that succeeds.

Photographer: Kelly Potter

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