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I ruined my sister’s marriage plans

I am the eldest child of four and a fraternal twin in a loving Italian family. However, it always annoyed me that Anna (my younger twin by three minutes) was deemed the “beautiful” one out of all the children. Anna was definitely Dad’s favourite; spoilt by him and encouraged by him to take modelling, singing, dancing and acting lessons. Dad would proudly tell anyone within earshot that Anna was “Australia’s next Tina Arena!”

When we turned 19, Anna went to the US to pursue her dream of international stardom. Due to the costs involved, I could only afford to go to uni part-time. I was also loaded with the responsibilities of helping my parents with our family restaurant business and looking after my two youngest siblings.

I was very surprised when we next heard from Anna before Christmas. She admitted things were tough but that she was determined to stay overseas and obtain her green card. Anna’s artist room-mate, Garry, was going to marry her to help. My parents were very worried and sent me over to LA to see Anna.

It was my first trip overseas and I was very excited. I felt immediate attraction to Garry, a gentle soul with wavy brown hair, green eyes and a goatee beard. His room was littered with cartoons he drew on scraps of paper and he would play his guitar every night before sleeping. From what I could tell, his relationship with Anna was “just friends”.

Anna was constantly going to auditions, so Garry and I had plenty of time alone. The more I got to know him, the more I felt envious of Anna. Just after new year, Anna went out partying with her acting class. Once again, I was left alone in her apartment, but that didn’t bother me because I knew Garry would be returning home.

I went all-out to cook Garry a romantic Italian dinner. He shook his head in surprise. “I can’t believe you and Anna are so different”, he said in his soft tone. He reached over to wipe some bolognese sauce from the corner of my mouth and then kissed me gently. I voraciously returned his kiss and before long, we were having the most amazing sex in every room of the little apartment!

I knew that Garry was my soulmate. He told me that I was the one he loved and he could never marry Anna. We confronted Anna with our news the next afternoon and she became hysterical, shrieking that I was deliberately ruining her dream.

Garry and I married in Las Vegas the following week and moved to his San Francisco hometown. Anna was forced to return home and it was as if we had switched places. I hope that everyone will eventually understand that it was time for me to live my life fully and not take a backseat any more. With Garry by my side, I am blissfully happy and living my dream.

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All day eyeliner

Question:

I wear contact lenses and my eyeliner has a tendency to run away by the end of the day. Is there such a thing as waterproof eyeliner?

Grace

Answer:

Companies such as L’Oreal and Maybelline have smudge-proof eyeliners, but not waterproof. However, one tip is to keep your eyeliners in the fridge so they don’t easily smudge. Another tip is to apply foundation and transparent powder over the entire eye area before applying your eye make-up.

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Majestic Mary

When Tasmania’s Mary Donaldson fell in love with a prince, the world was captivated by her real-life fairytale. This month, as Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, she returns to visit Australia, and speaks about what it means to her.

A wintry drizzle is falling across Copenhagen and, but for the sentries in their greatcoats and bearskin hats, the cobbled square outside the Amalienborg Palace, the 18th-century home of the Danish royal family, is empty. Quiet prevails inside, too, and as the main staircase snakes around a landing, I look out to the balcony where, on their wedding day last May, His Royal Highness Crown Prince Frederik and his bride, Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Mary, exchanged their first, exuberant public kiss.

It is a different Mary who waits in a chandeliered anteroom. The girl who said “Ja” before the stone altar of Copenhagen Cathedral was still in a state of wonder, swept up in a surreal fairy story that had carried her from a rented home in Sydney into the arms of a prince and the heart of nation. Today, the former Mary Donaldson, who has just turned 33, is full of poise and assurance, and eager for a role in the life of her new country. Her natural elegance and eye for fashion has earmarked Denmark’s new royal as one of the world’s most glamorous princesses, showcasing Danish fashion by wearing clothes by the country’s top designers. She is also patron of the Danish Fashion Fair and believes Danish designers to be among the finest anywhere.

The Crown Princess has also embraced the more serious side of patronage, using her warmth and openness to champion various causes – she is royal patron of six charities, including the Danish National Organisation for Mental Health and the Danish Heart Association. From an outsider’s point of view, Mary’s life seems like that of a character from a fairytale by Denmark’s celebrated Hans Christian Andersen: a beautiful girl wins the hand of a handsome prince and is carried off to a castle in a far-off land.

Does it ever feel like that to her?

Don’t miss our world exclusive interview with Mary in our Royal Souvenir with gorgeous photos. Only in the March 2005 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly. WATCH THE NOVEMBER TVC ONLINE

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COMPLETE OUR ONLINE SURVEY

Marriage and Happiness

–>

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Dinner for the dogs

Question:

For a tasty, healthy change, why not try making your dog’s dinner from scratch instead of buying pre-made dog roll.

Answer:

Combine fresh meat, such as beef mince, with a handful of frozen mixed vegetables and pasta or rice. Add an egg to help maintain the shine on your dog’s coat, along with a small amount of finely-chopped fresh garlic to help keep the fleas at bay.

Caroline

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Shaky foxie

Question:

Dear Julie,

My nine-month-old mini foxie trembles a lot, whether it is hot or cold. Is this normal?

Annie Nunn

Answer:

Lots of little dogs will tremble and often it doesn’t have anything to do with temperature. Of course, these tiny tots don’t have a lot of fat to insulate their bodies, so they do feel the cold, but nerves are more often the cause of trembling. If your little terrier is timid or anxious about strangers or noises, some behaviour modification techniques such as positive reinforcement using rewards (food and attention), gentle handling or anti-anxiety medication can help.

The lack of body fat also means that these little dogs can become hypoglycaemic (have low blood sugar) very quickly. You could try feeding her more regularly and check with your vet that she is getting enough energy in each meal. Lastly and probably least likely, there may be a neurological component to the shaking. So if she shakes more and more or develops any other strange clinical signs such as behaviour changes or fitting, she may need some treatment. Either way, a trip to the vet is what the doctor ordered!

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The cheating husband

I was feeling down one Monday and decided to take a drive across town to visit my girlfriend Debbie. I wasn’t sure whether she would be home, as I hadn’t rung to find out. I just thought I would lob up on her doorstep for a coffee and chat. To my surprise, when I arrived I found her car gone but her husband’s car in the drive. This was quite unusual as he worked very long hours.

I knocked on the front door but there was no answer, so I decided to go round the back. I could hear noises coming from the kitchen window and thought maybe he and Debbie were having an argument. I knocked on the back door but no answer, so I tried the door and it was open. I proceeded to go in and could still hear noises. I walked down the passage and into the kitchen to find my best friend’s husband in a compromising position with her sister.

It was as if they hadn’t heard me, so I coughed and all of a sudden they were gathering their clothes and telling me they could explain. It would have to be a good explanation to keep me quiet. They tried all different things, said it was just something that happened, but I told them they were both horrible and asked how could they do this to such a great person?

I left abruptly and decided I would tell Debbie as soon as possible, as she had a right to know. A couple of hours passed and my phone rang. It was Debbie, she was so excited and saying she had some good news. I thought, ‘this is it, I’m going to have to tell her, but I will let her tell me her good news first’. She said, “You know how we have been trying for a baby for the past 12 months? Well, I’m three months pregnant!” She was ecstatic. I hadn’t heard her so chirpy and excited in such a long time.

I had to decide right there and then if I should tell her about her cheating husband. She was my best friend in the world. What was I to do? I told her I was happy for her and that she deserved to be happy and become a mum. I slept on it for a few days and came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t spoil her joy, not even for this.

I rang her husband and told him to call it off with Debbie’s sister. He promised me he would never cheat on Debbie again and that he was sorry about what he had done. That was nine years ago and to this day he has been the best father and husband a woman could wish for. If only Debbie knew the real truth behind what had happened all those years ago. I have kept this secret and sometimes I wonder if I will ever tell her the truth.

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Finding a foundation

Question:

I don’t wear make-up on a regular basis and need to find something simple that I can wear every day. I can’t seem to find a foundation that suits my extremely pale skin — any ideas?

Lisa

Answer:

For starters, go shopping armed with a mirror. Go to one of the make-up counters of your choice and ask them to colour match you, then go outside and check in natural light if the colour is suitable. It’s best to wait 10 minutes to allow your skin’s natural tone to come through. Make sure that the foundation is applied to your face, not your chin or hands.

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When money makes you sick

When money makes you sick

By Annette Campbell

Like most of us, Michele O’Grady never thought she’d get sick.

She had the career she’d always dreamed of — as a registered nurse — and was working hard to pay off the mortgage on her home and the investment property she’d bought years earlier, as security for her and her son Lonnie, 28.

But in December, 2003, Michele was diagnosed with scleroderma (a tightening of the skin that affects the heart, lungs and kidneys) and Raynaud’s phenomenon (a circulatory problem affected by stress and cold).

And in a tragic sequence of events, Michele’s ill health meant she couldn’t keep working, which in turn created financial problems beyond her wildest nightmares.

The resulting anxiety and stress of her money worries led to an extended episode of depression. And the further she sank into depression, the less she felt she could save herself from financial ruin.

“It was all snowballing and I didn’t know what to do,” says Michele, 51. “Without the help and love of my mother and son and the wonderful advice I got from Financial Counselling Victoria … who knows?”

The first step Michele took to regain control of her physical, mental and financial ill-health was to talk with her GP, who suggested she see a financial counsellor.

“So I went to Financial Counselling Victoria and they helped me negotiate to pay some bills and sort out my finances in general,” Michele explains. “You feel bad, getting into this mess in the first place. But it was being sick that got me into that situation. If I’d been able to keep working, I’d have paid everything off, like everyone else.

Slowly but very surely, Michele is getting her finances back under control, which in turn is helping alleviate her depression. Michele is also meditating and exercising daily, for the sake of her physical and mental health. Now she hopes she’ll be well enough to return to work within the next few months and is beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And she has some advice for others who may be making themselves sick through financial worry. “I’d have to say the first thing you need to do is talk with your GP about your problems,” she says. “Don’t be embarrassed to say ‘I’m not coping’. Also go and see a financial adviser, to help you put a plan into action. Help is out there.”

How to have happier finances

Jill Com, a financial counsellor with Financial Counselling Victoria, has the following advice for us all. For more info, visit their website: www.financial-counselling.org.au/

  • Beware credit

Buying on credit can potentially cost you double, with high interest rates and late payment fees. Banks and credit providers are generous in offering automatic increases on credit cards without any assessment — this can cause further debt problems.

If you are going to access credit, then shop around for the best offer. Twelve months interest-free, 24 months interest-free — this is tempting. However, once the interest-free period is over, the interest rate is extreme.

  • Manage your mortgage

The only way to pay out a mortgage faster is to shop around for a cheaper interest rate or to make higher payments on your current loan.

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How kilojoule conscious is your favourite fluid?

You know you’re meant to drink 2-3 litres of water a day, but if you’re drinking other liquids, do you factor them into your kilojoule count?

There’s no denying that fluid replacement is a vital part of keeping your body functioning. And most of us know that somewhere between 2-3 litres of water a day is what works best. But the fact of the matter is that we drink many different types of fluids and these have a huge range in kilojoule counts.

It’s common to experience kilojoule amnesia when thirst calls and forget to factor in that glass of juice or bubbly into your weight loss eating plan. Even the difference between black coffee and coffee with full cream milk can add up to big kilojoule savings or additions (depending on your preference) at the end of the week.

So before you take your next sip, think about what may be passing from your lips to your hips, and check out these approximate kilojoule counts of some of your favourite fluids.

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Canine cuddles

Question:

All dogs love to be scratched, rubbed and tickled on the lower neck, around their chest area and between their shoulders blades on their backs. This is the only place that dogs are unable to reach to scratch themselves.

Answer:

You’ll find that after a few minutes of this sort of attention, most dogs will start to doze — and with regular rubs like this, you’ll quickly have a four-legged friend for life!

Kellie Taylor

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