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Dog years

Question:

My dog (my first) turns three soon. What’s the difference between dog and human years? Carolyn

Answer:

The old saying is that there are about seven dog years to one human year – which means she’d be celebrating her 21st! This is simplistic, but is roughly correct.

Dogs grow and change more rapidly than humans because their lifespan is much shorter. Dogs reach puberty and can breed from as early as five months of age – so what we can’t do until our teenage years, dogs can manage while their human equivalents are still in nappies! Dogs also age faster after they reach the 10-year mark.

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My secret overseas career

After graduating from university with honours, I decided to head overseas for a year’s break before starting work at a law firm. My choice of destination: New Zealand. I had no idea what I would do when I got there, apart from having fun and letting loose.

After several months of travelling around, my savings got decidedly low, so I started job hunting. After many failed attempts and countless interviews, a friend I had met during my travels suggested I try her place of work as there was a vacancy. It sounded too good to be true. She always seemed to have so much money, so I was curious. She told me to wear something nice and she would pick me up that night on her way to work.

I chose my conservative black suit and did my hair in a professional style. When my friend arrived wearing a calf length black coat and heels, I realised she still hadn’t told me what she did for a living. She was very vague and changed the subject as she picked out a different outfit for me to wear. Gone was the suit and pulled-back hair; she had chosen a very short, revealing dress for me, even though it was almost winter. My suspicions rose even further as we began to drive to the other side of town and she still wouldn’t answer my questions.

My reservations were confirmed as we pulled up outside the back entrance to a dimly lit building. My heart was pounding as we made our way up the back stairs. Once inside it was like being on another planet. I hadn’t been inside a strip club in my life and it dawned on me as we made our way past girls in various states of undress that that was exactly where I was.

My friend led me to a dank room at the side of the building and asked me if I was ready. I had no idea what for but as she took my coat off, I told her I was. The man behind the desk was the slimiest creature I had ever seen and as his eyes roamed my skimpily dressed body it was all I could do not to retch. But as he began talking about how much money most of the girls went home with each night, I made up my mind to do whatever it took to get the job. Thankfully, he was suitably impressed with me and told me I could start the following night.

The next night marked the beginning of what was, and still is, the most lucrative career I have had. It didn’t take me long to pick up the moves and with the help of my friend, I soon became one of the lead dancers. I was making more money than I knew what to do with but somehow managed to stay away from the drugs that most of the girls blew all their pay on.

I lived in New Zealand for 10 months and danced for seven of them. Instead of coming home broke like most travellers, I managed to save almost 10 grand. I haven’t told any of my friends back at home, but many of them wonder just how I was able to make so much money working on the ski fields like I told them I was. And they wonder where on earth I learnt the new sexy moves I now pull on the dance floor.

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Multiple sclerosis

By Annette Campbell

Until one day in June 1997, Amanda Jones’ life was “pretty normal”. The then 26-year-old was living in Sydney, working full-time in a bank and engaged to be married.

But then the degenerative disease multiple sclerosis (MS) stepped in.

“My right arm stopped working — it became really heavy,” she recalls vividly. “I lost fine motor skills like writing, putting on make-up and I kept dropping things. Also, I was extremely tired.”

So Amanda went to see a doctor and was referred to a neurologist. After a few weeks of tests, the diagnosis of MS was confirmed.

“I thought it was the end of my life — that I’ll just be at home, never do anything again and just deteriorate,” she says. “I had a cousin who’d had it and been in a wheelchair since his 20s. So I thought ‘that’s it … that’s what happens’.”

But the reality for Amanda, now 34, has been quite different. She enjoyed “quite good” health for quite a while, although now she uses a walking frame, walking stick or wheelchair depending on the level of her mobility.

“I have good days and bad days,” she explains. “My balance is fairly shaky today, but tomorrow I could walk well. The fatigue is a big part. And being ‘MS tired’ is a whole lot more!

“My arms are fine, but my left leg is worst. I have to self-catheterise, because the bladder is a muscle and MS can affect that as well.”

Amanda and her fiancé did go on to get married, although the couple separated in August 2003.

As a proud MS Ambassador, Amanda is energetically doing all she can to promote this year’s MS Awareness Week. “I’ve often thought I’d like to raise millions of dollars and find a cure … but I also want to raise awareness,” she smiles. “It’s not a death sentence or contagious … and I might be a bit slow or need to sit more often than most people, but I’m still normal.”

What is multiple sclerosis?

MS is the most common disease of the central nervous system among Australians aged 20 to 50. It causes the protective sheath around the nerve fibres to become damaged, interrupting messages to the brain and interfering with the brain’s ability to control functions such as sight, balance and speech.

Did you know that …

  • Less than 20 percent of people with multiple sclerosis use a wheelchair?

  • The average age of diagnosis is 32?

  • Three times as many women as men have MS?

This year, MS Awareness Week is May 29 to June 4. For more info and to make a donation, phone: 1800 CURE MS (1800 287 367) or visit www.msnsw.org.au

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Learn to surf

Surf's up

By Annette Campbell

Amanda Williamson believes she’s found her key to being fitter, happier and generally healthier than she’s been for years.

So what is her magical, mystical elixir?

“I’m learning how to surf!” smiles this 33-year-old mother of three and police officer, from Jervis Bay, near Nowra, NSW.

“It’s so much fun and as a bonus I’m fitter too — and it also cures any frustrations of the day. I start feeling better the second I get out there.”

Amanda’s husband Warren, also a police officer, has surfed all his life and often encouraged his wife to join him, offering to teach her the fine art. Amanda has always shared his love of the ocean and was keen to give it a go, but there was no one to mind the kids, Tara, five, Casey, four, and Luke, three, while Mum and Dad hit the beach together.

So Amanda enlisted the help of a local surfing instructor, Tony Chapman. “As it happened, Tony’s wife wanted to learn too, so we did it together,” says Amanda. “My first lesson was a couple of months ago now and it was so much fun, but much harder than I thought … and exhausting!

“We learnt some basics on the beach at first — things like how to paddle, then stand. Then we went in the water and started trying to catch a few of the little broken waves in close to the beach.

“I started getting the hang of standing up … I actually stood up on the first day! Then, as my confidence grew, I went out the back a little further and started trying on the unbroken waves. I went again the next day and all the following weekend.

“I’d been a fitness freak until I had my kids, but I’ve done nothing for five years, so the day after that first lesson, I was sore through my whole body. It’s physically demanding, like you’ve just been to the gym for two hours, but you feel so good afterwards.”

Apart from the fitness boost, Amanda says she loves the feeling of wellbeing that surfing gives her.

“For me, having three kids so close together, when I can get a little space away, I think it makes me a better mother and a better coper,” she explains. Now Amanda’s keen to encourage us all to get out there and make our pipedreams come true.

“You’ve got to do it,” she says. “We all get tied up with work and motherhood, but it’s still really important we look after ourselves, too.”

Surf’s up …

To find a surfing school near you, look in the Yellow Pages or surf the Web.

Tony Chapman’s website is: [www.ucansurf.com.au

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Beauty essentials

Question:

What are the best beauty investments I can make? Is it buying the best skincare? Having regular facials? Going to the hairdresser? Please streamline my beauty budget.

Irene, via e-mail.

Answer:

There are lots of good beauty investments, but I have a few must-have suggestions for you.

  1. A compact mirror with a normal mirror and a magnifying mirror so you can see if your make-up is correctly applied.
  1. A manicure once a fortnight, whether you do it yourself or have it done professionally. The best nail shapes are either oval or a softened square.
  1. A facial every six to eight weeks for a deep clean or a nourishing treatment, depending on your skin type. If you have all the products, do this at home more regularly.
  1. An all-in-one styling brush and blow dryer. You can create a smooth, slick style or give hair lots of body.
  1. A facial mist to rehydrate skin and set make-up.
  1. A heavy, all-purpose cream for softening lips, cuticles, hands and heels.
  1. A classic make-up brush collection: blush brush; a few eyeshadow brushes, including one that’s rounded and fluffy; an angled brush for liners and eyebrows; a comb and bristle brush for eyebrows and lashes and a lip brush.
  1. And lastly, a great pair of tweezers.

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He hates his kennel!

Question:

My dog Ted will not go into his kennel. I have bought a wooden one and a plastic one and he doesn’t like either. He has his special pillow/blanket in both, but this doesn’t help as he keeps pulling them out. He has no shelter outside except for these kennels, so when it rains he gets soaked. Do you have any suggestions?

Susie

Answer:

Susie,

This is a common problem with dogs, I remember my dog growing up did the same. We built this luxurious kennel and my dad lined it with carpet and put a fabric flap on the front to keep her warm and she ripped everything out and then sat in the cold! Kennels are obviously good shelter for dogs, but being social animals they would certainly prefer being close to us to protect us and to feel safe themselves. This is why they often sleep at the back door — as close to us as they can get.

Dogs that have slept in kennels since they were pups often love them and it’s something they can get used to and have as their own territory, but it needs to be just so! Try moving it around — maybe closer to the house. For a dog not used to it, a kennel may feel a bit claustrophobic or scary and it may just not smell right! Putting blankets in that smell of him is a good idea and you might try feeding him in there or regularly leaving treats in there so he associates it with positive experiences. Slowly does it though — if you try to forcibly stuff him into it, you will make him hate it even more and be taking a big step backwards.

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E-mail ruined my friendship

When I innocently swapped e-mail addresses with my best friend’s boyfriend to plan a surprise birthday party for her, I never dreamt things could turn out so wrong.

Tom soon contacted me to discuss Trish’s birthday, which was fine. However, as e-mails flowed back and forth, we found ourselves generally chit-chatting about anything and everything. Neither of us told Trish we were in contact — I guess we both thought it was innocent. Plus, I knew that Trish had got up to a trick or two of her own behind Tom’s back so I didn’t really think twice.

Then came the day Tom brought up the subject of sex. As I was the single one, he asked me when was the last time I had had sex and if I had anyone special in my life. When I sent him my response, he told me it was pretty much the same for him. He went on to tell me of his fairly boring and non-existent sex life with Trish, how there were many things he’d fantasise about, knowing she would never consider trying them. He was thrilled he could chat to me about them. One thing led to another and we found ourselves discussing what we liked and would like to try, our secret fantasies that we couldn’t tell anyone else.

This went on for around 12 months. It was like Tom was a different person — not my best friend’s boyfriend, but my secret pen pal who I could tell anything and he wouldn’t judge me. It was the male contact that I was lacking. It got to the point that when I spoke to Trish, I’d have to try hard not to say “I already know” or comment on things she was telling me that Tom already had.

Unfortunately, one day I slipped up. She had told me she was going on a bushwalk; I knew it had been cancelled from Tom’s e-mails. She was starting to get suspicious. I guess Tom may have let a few minor things slip as well. I got one last e-mail from Tom telling me that we’d been caught; he was on the computer chatting to me when she unexpectedly arrived home early from work. Tom had stupidly saved some of our raunchy e-mails and Trish read them.

In the last e-mail I received, he told me not to contact Trish again; our friendship was over. She never wanted to speak to me again. Then I received an e-mail from Trish herself, thanking me for my friendship over the years and for showing her the true person her boyfriend really was. I guessed that meant it showed her the true person her best friend was as well. I was devastated. We’d been best friends for so long and now with one last e-mail it was gone forever.

I will never forgive myself or Tom for what we have done. I will be punished forever by my beautiful best friend not wanting anything to do with me. I’m so sorry.

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Weak nails

Question:

My nails are really weak and brittle. They split before they even have the chance to grow and they grow really slowly. Is there anything I can do or any products I can use to strengthen them? I have been told this is due to lack of water intake but I drink about two litres a day, which is the required amount.

Sibel

Answer:

Start by having a professional manicure once a fortnight, then apply a nail strengthener like Sally Hansen Age Correct Strength Dry and Brittle Care. It is available from department stores nationally.

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Starlight Children’s Foundation

By Annette Campbell

Donna George is a 39-year-old mother of two and legal secretary from East Maitland, near Newcastle, NSW.

And this humble, unassuming mum is also nothing less than an absolute hero to kids doing battle with life-threatening illnesses.

Donna is an enthusiastic volunteer for the Starlight Children’s Foundation, the national organisation whose mission is to brighten the lives of seriously ill and hospitalised children and their families.

Donna’s been a volunteer “wish granter” for the past eight years and says she’s probably granted at least 50 or 60 wishes by now.

“It feels just wonderful,” she says. “I get so much from the families; they are so courageous and so grateful.”

Donna juggles her wish-granting with full-time work and being a mum to her boys, Ben, 13, and Ethan, 12.

“So if someone in this area is granted a wish, Starlight will contact me with their details and I’ll contact the family, visit them and ask, ‘If you could have anything, what would it be?'”

Donna explains there are four main categories for wishes: travel, celebrity, experience (parachuting etc) and tangible (computers / home entertainment systems).

“The wish is co-ordinated through Starlight and I make lots of phone calls and whatever else is necessary to make it happen,” she says.

Donna says she can’t single out a highlight of her volunteering efforts because every case is different and just as special. But she’s keen to encourage us all to help Starlight make a difference.

“You can volunteer for one hour a day or one day a month,” she explains. “Basically, you can make your own time; there’s no pressure and the Starlight office is there to help. And every little bit helps.

“So give it a go. Even though parts are sad, we’re doing nice things by saying, ‘You can have your wish’. What I get back is far more than what I put in. I’ve made lifelong friendships … and the buzz is so warm.

“Sometimes though, I do walk in my door at the end of the day and hug my boys so tightly. I’m so lucky to have two healthy boys and it really makes me appreciate what I’ve been given.”

Be a star

To find out more about volunteering for Starlight, visit their website: www.starlight.org.au or phone them on 1300 727 827.

And for information about Starlight’s major national fundraising event, Star Day, Friday, May 6, visit www.starday.org.au or phone 1300 727 827 to make a donation.

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My mistake almost killed him

Everyone has a thrill seeker inside. There are many extreme sports, but my favourite is rock-climbing. I love introducing people to this fun activity, which is why I became an instructor. Some might say I’m a stickler for the rules, but I always have more fun when I know that nothing will go wrong.

What my colleagues don’t know is that one day it did go wrong and it was all my fault.

It was the first day I’d climbed outside of a gym. An older climber named Matt had offered to take my partner Tom and I up the mountains to teach us a style called lead climbing. At the end of winter it was sunny on the rock face, but there were still unmelted patches of snow under some of the trees. I took off my gloves but kept on my warm, oversized jacket and my woollen hat. Matt showed us how the person on the ground (the belayer) needed to keep the rope loose. The climber would put the rope through a clip, then the belayer would let out more rope for him to climb up to the next clip. If he fell, the device on our belts would catch the rope, as long as you held it at the bottom of the device.

We were getting the hang of things and Tom decided to try a harder route. When he got to the first clip, I hadn’t let out enough rope for him. He had to hang on while I pushed it through the device. He was getting tired. As he climbed up to each new clip, he got frustrated waiting for me to let out more rope. He was 20 metres up, at the top of the climb and just about to put the rope into the last clip. I couldn’t push it through my device fast enough, so I grabbed it with both hands on top of the device and started pulling it through.

First I heard a scream from another climber over to our right. I looked up and Tom was already falling. I tried to grab the rope whizzing through the bottom of the device but my jacket was in the way so my hands couldn’t find it. In desperation I grabbed the rope in front of my face. Now the device was doing nothing to help me. Tom’s falling weight pulled the rope, and me with it, until my feet were half a metre off the ground. My hands were clenched vice-like around the rope and my arms were stretched over my head. I had closed my eyes but I peeled them open now to look over at Tom. He was hanging, crouched into the foetal position, with his tail bone just half a metre from the ground.

I still don’t think Tom knows how many mistakes I made that day. After that, I wanted to know every rule and every technique for avoiding danger. Now I enjoy climbing because I’ve assured myself that I will never make those mistakes again.

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