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Pet-sitting

Question:

I am looking after my parents’ Maltese terrier for the next three months. Last night was the first night I had him and when it was time to put him into his basket he cried continuously. What can I do so this does not occur and my neighbours don’t complain? I know it will take time and this is a new surrounding for him but I need some immediate advice.

Angela Pinirou

Answer:

This is very normal behaviour for any pet put in new surroundings. It’s just like when you bring them home for the first time! The crying is for attention because he is worried and wants you to be there to reassure him. And you cannot do this all night, obviously. What you don’t want to do is to make the mistake of rewarding this behaviour by going back and cuddling him (as tempting as it is) or by giving him food because that is saying to him, “you are doing the right thing and I will reward you for crying”; only further encouraging it.

Make sure the pup is warm, comfortable, has access to food and water and has been to the toilet, and then it’s time to be tough! Ignore the crying and warn the neighbours — it’ll only be one or two nights if you do this, longer if you confuse him by going in to him all the time. And if you have to go in, wait for a moment when he is quiet — that way you reward him for quiet, calm behaviour, not for crying.

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Glossy cheekbones

Question:

What products can be used to create a glossy look around the cheekbone area? I like the way Olivia Newton-John always has a healthy gloss look to her make-up.

Jan Reynolds

Answer:

Pout cosmetics make a wonderful shimmer gloss that has a slight pink to it. It will give you the effect you are after without your skin looking like an oil slick. This product is available at David Jones and Myer.

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Blush choice

Question:

I want to know how to choose the correct blush colour for my skin.

Liz

Answer:

The best time to determine which colour best suits your complexion is to have a look at your flushed cheeks after a workout or shower — the natural flush is the best shade for you. The safest colour for a healthy glow is peachy pink. A good idea is to go to one of the make-up counters in David Jones and ask the sales girl to help you choose. The majority of girls are qualified make-up artists so they know what they are doing.

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Fleas

Question:

We seem to have a never-ending flea problem and it’s costing an arm and a leg! Is there anything we can do in one big bang that will help bring the problem under control?

Peta Salmon

Answer:

Fleas can be very difficult to eradicate, as you have found out. I’m sure you have used flea products on your pet, but just in case I’ll go through that. You need to use a monthly spot-on product available from your vet which has a residual effect, ie. it keeps killing fleas for a month. With some of these you need to be careful your pet doesn’t get wet for a day or two after application. You also need to know that you are applying it properly. There are also tablets available which, while having no ongoing action, will quickly kill those fleas on your pet right now to get the ball rolling.

However, the fleas on the animal are only a small fraction of the numbers present in the environment, so you need to work out where they are coming from and breeding. If the pet lives indoors, regular hot washes of any bedding, rugs, etc, as well as vacuuming to pick up any microscopic eggs is in order. Flea bombs or environmental sprays may be of use (with caution), but I’d suggest you get advice from your vet about how best to treat under your specific circumstances.

Fleas like warm, dark areas, so under furniture, in bedding and outside under houses and bushes are trouble spots. You must treat all dogs and cats in the household regularly, even if they don’t appear to have a problem, as they may carry fleas but not be as itchy as more sensitive or allergic individuals. Winter is usually when the problem dies down, but depending on the environmental temperature those pesky fleas can stick around all year round and this year is proving to be particularly problematic!

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Wet paws

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I lied to save their marriage

I had just moved to the city, found myself a cute little apartment and begun the tiresome chore of unpacking. While cleaning out the drawers in the main bedroom, the bottom drawer base slipped out to reveal a secret hiding spot containing two shoeboxes and a diary. They’d been left behind by the last tenant and contained very juicy letters, notes, printed e-mails and diary entries.

Over the next few weeks, each night I would sit down with a glass of wine and immerse myself in the interesting and racy life of Michelle Harper. The things this girl got up to made my own heart skip a beat. I began to wonder why she would leave such personal belongings behind.

One evening while taking out my rubbish, I began talking to one of my new neighbours. I asked if they had known the girl who lived there before me. I was shocked at the response and realised why the items had been left behind. Michelle didn’t pack her belongings — she had been in a terrible car accident and died. Her family came to fetch her belongings two weeks before I moved to the city.

From then on, I felt a sense of compassion as I read the entries of this young girl who’d lost her vibrant life. I didn’t know what to do with the items and after reading them I knew they couldn’t be returned to her loved ones. I thought it would be heartbreaking for them to read the things she got up to and didn’t want to tarnish any memories they had. I decided to just let it go and continue living my own life.

Eight months passed and then one day I received a long-distance phone call. It was a guy who wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways, blubbering, “Michelle, I know I said we wouldn’t call you again, but we can’t move past it. It’s been tormenting us for two years and I’m about to lose everything that matters. Why did you tell Lisa those lies about us, you lying b****? Can’t you just do the right thing and end this once and for all — tell her, tell her nothing happened between us! Why have you done this to us? I have so much to live for and you’re taking it all away.”

I could hear a woman crying in the background and screaming things like, “Just tell me the truth, I can’t live like this any more.” I also heard two upset children; one sounded like a baby. Once he stopped, there was a long pause and a lot of crying at the other end of the phone. I felt overwhelmed and saw an opportunity to make something good happen.

“Okay”, I began, “I’ll tell her nothing happened but you have to promise to never hurt her again. You should cherish your family and realise you put them in this situation.”

I knew who I was talking to. From what he’d said and the diary entries, it could have only been one man, Jack Thompson. He handed the phone to his wife. I was so nervous about being in the middle of this and, worse yet, possibly being caught out. I felt a burst of courage and put on a remorseful voice. “I lied; everything I told you was a lie. Nothing ever happened between us, I just wanted it to so I made up the whole affair. I was young and stupid and I’m sorry I did this to your family; I hope you can move on now. I’m very sorry for what I have done.”

There was a pause and then the sobbing woman at the end of the phone began screaming and hurling abuse at me. “You b****, how could you do this? You destroyed us for so long. Do you think it’s fun playing games with people’s lives? All this time we could have been happy. I hope you suffer, we are going to live long and happy together and I hope you grow old and lonely.”

I let her continue until finally she was reduced to soft sobbing and thanking me for finally telling the truth. After I got off the phone, I thought long and hard and wondered if I had done the right thing. I had my phone number changed and burnt Michelle’s personal belongings.

I still think about it to this day and wonder if their marriage worked out and if I did the right thing. Every time I think I haven’t, the sound of those children crying comes back to me and I remember my parents’ divorce when I was five. If they ever find out about Michelle’s death, then I guess it will be on again. Who knows? I hope they’ve moved forward into happier times.

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Colouring hair

Question:

Hello Mary!

About two months ago, I had my salon change my platinum blonde hair to a deep, dark auburn brown. I went through all the required things, like treatments, a new trim etc but now I’m considering going back to my blonde look. My hairdresser has told me that to go back blonde would be a risk because my hair could break off at the line where my last bleach was done (so with two months’ regrowth that would leave me about an inch of hair!).

I’m over my brown locks but don’t want to risk my hair falling out! I get protein treatments done every month at the salon, trim it regularly as it is halfway down my back, and it is in fairly good condition, as I let it dry naturally all the time and only straighten it approximately once a week. Is there anything I can do to get my blonde look back? Or would I be better off just loving my brunette locks?

Siobhan

Answer:

I would suggest that you listen to your hairdresser as he or she know just how porous and weak your hair is. I personally would learn to love my locks until at least high summer when you can re-evaluate the condition of your hair. I would also like to suggest that you purchase a strengthening shampoo and conditioner and give yourself weekly conditioning treatments. Kerastase have a range called cement that is excellent.

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I was my boss’s online mistress

A while back in my early 20s I was working in a very large corporation headed by a very serious and uptight CEO. Thomas was a distinguished looking man in his mid 50s and seemed like the type of person that had never done anything out of line or remotely spontaneous in his life. He would never give us workers the time of day except to criticise or complain that not enough work was getting done.

Thomas would make us stay back until we had finished all the tasks we had been set and most of us would not get out of the building until well after 7pm each night. One evening I decided to pay back my unpleasant boss by making myself a new work e-mail address, on a different computer no one used, in the name of Mandy. I sent him a slightly racy e-mail telling him how much I was attracted to him and how I would love to be his very own private assistant. Pleased with my revenge I shut the computer down and went home wishing I could see his face when he read the e-mail.

The next day, before I went home, I waited until the coast was clear and logged in to Mandy’s e-mail address. I was shocked to find an e-mail from Thomas. He thanked me for the e-mail and told me that it was a turn-on and that he would like me to reveal my identity so that we could have a night of passion. Sure that he was trying to blow my cover to sack me, I decided to apologise in my reply and told him this would not happen again.

Days passed and I couldn’t help myself — I had to check Mandy’s e-mails one more time. I was surprised to find two new messages from Thomas. The first message was saying that my real identity was not important and that it excited him because I was mysterious and pleaded with me to write back. The second e-mail had a picture attached of a semi-naked Thomas sitting on his desk wearing just his briefs and a tie. Dumbfounded, I realised this was not a joke or an attempt to sack me; this seemingly boring man had a very wicked side.

I continued sending e-mails to him for some unexplained reason and these began to get very hot and heavy and extremely explicit. He sent me more pictures of himself, each more daring than the last and I replied by sending him pictures that I had found in an underwear catalogue.

Weeks went by and our online affair continued, I even noticed Thomas was becoming much more light-hearted and animated within the workplace.

Finally I knew this had to stop when Thomas wrote and said he had genuine feelings for me and wanted to have sex for real instead of via e-mail.

I felt terrible for leading Thomas on just to get my kicks and felt even worse for his poor wife and decided to never e-mail him again — not even to offer him an explanation.

I had to leave my job shortly after as the guilt of what I had done hit home. As for the incriminating pictures of Thomas, I decided to delete them instead of destroying his reputation. After all we had been through I felt some strange loyalty to him.

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GP checklist

By Annette Campbell

To coincide with the AMA’s Family Doctor Week, we asked Dr Rosanna Capolingua — a Perth-based practicing GP, and chair of the Australian Medical Association’s Ethics Committee — what she thinks most doctors would really like us to know.

So the next time you phone to make an appointment to see your GP, try to keep the following in mind …

If you have a few problems you’d like to discuss with your doctor — or maybe need a full check-up or something like a Pap test — book a “long” appointment. Making this clear when you make your appointment means the GP can give you the time you need.

If you can’t make it to your appointment, phone and cancel. It really helps to let the receptionist know. This means other patients don’t miss out.

If you know your doctor tends to run a bit late, phone a little while beforehand and see how he’s going that day. This saves you having to wait too long. And keep in mind that if you do have to wait because the doctor’s taking a little longer with patients, she will take that time with you, too.

Turn off your mobile phone. I’ve actually had patients who not only leave the phone on, but then answer it if it rings in the middle of a consultation! It’s important that time with your doctor is well-focussed.

If your GP asks you questions such as, “Do you feel pain here or there?” or “Is there anything else?” — don’t feel that you must say “yes”. If the answer’s genuinely “no”, say so. Always give answers that are real to you.

Be honest. If you are drinking five glasses of wine every night, don’t tell your doctor you’re having one. Or, if you’re smoking 20 cigarettes a day, don’t say “one or two”. These things are all very important details, and your medical management will be based on the information you provide. It really helps us to help you, by providing accurate details.

In order for you to feel as comfortable as possible through the appointment, think about the best way to dress for your check-up … a button-up shirt might suit you best for a breast examination, for example.

Don’t feel personally targeted if your GP wants to weigh you and measure your waist. Weight is a health issue — nothing personal.

July 17-23 is the AMA’s Family Doctor Week and this year the theme is: “GPs are life-savers”.

Picture posed by models.

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Dry skin

Question:

I have recently flown overseas and my skin and hair is very dry. I have exfoliated and used moisturising cream — what else can you suggest?

Patsy

Answer:

You may need a professional facial as it sounds to me like your skin has some dry surface skin build-up or you may be using the incorrect products for your skin’s needs. I would suggest that you visit a skincare counter and ask for a few different samples to see which ones work before you buy.

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