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I faked a $200 bottle of wine!

I’ve never known a lot about wine. My wife is something of a connoisseur and early in our marriage I committed what is considered a cardinal sin among the wine set. My wife was out with the girls and I had a mate over for a few drinks. We had worked through our case of beer when we decided to open a bottle of wine from the rack in my basement. I pulled out something that I thought looked safe enough and we knocked off the bottle. I noticed later on — when I was putting the bottle out with the rest of the recycling — that it was 20 years old.

I casually asked about the bottle the next day (pretending to simply be interested in wine culture) and it turned out it was a bottle of something very expensive. My wife had been keeping it for dinner that night with her boss, who was also a wine lover. Later my wife asked me to bring the bottle up as we were preparing for the boss’s arrival. She was so proud that she had kept it aside as it would certainly score her some brownie points. My face flushed and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I had served it to my mate over a bowl of potato chips while watching the footy.

I waited for an opportune time and fished the bottle out of our recycling bin. I then opened a bottle of a decidedly less impressive red from her stash of “quaffers”. I funnelled the cheaper plonk into the empty bottle and presented it, announcing that I had opened it to let it breathe. My wife was so pleased that I had apparently been paying attention to her wine tutelage.

I felt dreadful as she filled her boss’s wine glass. Funnily enough, everyone enjoyed it, commenting that the tannins were very firm, but otherwise singing its praises. I haven’t told her yet but I hope it’s something we can laugh about one day — I might wait until we’ve been married for at least a few years before I make my confession.

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Yo-yo dieting

Diet Club

I have been trying to diet for most of the last eight years. Before there was a lot known about nutrition, I used to survive on the bare minimum of food and think I was clever for doing it. As soon as I started eating properly, the weight soon found its place back on my hips with more of a vengeance. I’ve tried Atkins with no carbs, soup, protein diets etc. Would you like to know what works?

Eat everything fresh, with lots of chilled water (your metabolism works harder to warm up the water) and no sugar (it makes your body store fat). Pretty easy really, just do the following:

  • No commercially prepared foods that are high in saturated fats and sugars.

  • Cut out all sugar — 1g per 100g is okay, like in bacon.

  • Eat lots of fruit and vegetables – raw is better as the nutrients are still in place.

  • Promise something decent to yourself when you reach an important milestone in your weight loss, like a massage.

  • Record your weight loss — maybe take a “before” picture or keep track in your diary.

Always look forward to the goal — think of what you’ll look like when you have finished.

Priscilla Lelasi

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Halle Berry’s hot body plan

Halle Berry

Get curves in all the right places with the Hollywood beauty’s Fat Flush Plan.

Gorgeous Halle Berry has had plenty of chances to show off her curves. She famously donned a skimpy bikini as Bond girl Jinx in Die Another Day and a skin-tight catsuit in Catwoman.

While sticking to a healthy diet, the 39-year-old actress explains, “I’m not obsessive, like I have to have the best butt or the best abs, but I like feeling strong and healthy.”

Halle, who was diagnosed with diabetes in 1989, keeps fit and lean by eliminating refined sugar from her diet and limiting carbohydrates. The former beauty queen is said to be a fan of the Fat Flush Plan, a low-carb detox which is very low in sugar.

She says, “Because I’m diabetic, I totally changed my diet and workout regimen a few years ago. I don’t eat fried foods or refined sugar — only natural sugar in fruit and vegetables. And I don’t eat carbs a lot.”

Halle also monitors her weight, not by jumping on the scales but by trying on her Bond bikini! “If I can’t get into it, I eat less junk,” she says.

The plan advocates eating plenty of protein-rich lean meats (chicken), omega-3-rich foods (oily fish) and lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, since it’s believed that these help to boost the metabolism by up to 25 percent. Followers are also told to eat something every three hours in order to keep the metabolic rate up, which makes the body more efficient at burning fat, particularly from stubborn places such as the hips and thighs.

Meals containing wheat and yeast are completely banned from the initial stages of the plan as these can make you feel sluggish and cause the body to retain fluid, leading to bloating.

There are three phases of the Fat Flush Plan. The first phase, which lasts for two weeks, is a 5000-kilojoule-a-day diet, which aims to jump-start the metabolism and transform your body shape. Halle often follows this part of the plan when she wants to slim for a big event, as it means she can lose an incredible 4.5kg in just 14 days.

During this initial phase, the plan recommends that followers add spices such as ginger and cayenne pepper to their food and try drinking a “long-life cocktail”, made from ground flaxseeds and sugar-free cranberry juice diluted with water. These are thought to boost the metabolism, enhance liver function and emulsify fatty deposits, which may help to combat cellulite. Cut out starchy carbs, such as potatoes, bread, grains and cereals, as well as all caffeine and alcohol.

During the second phase, kilojoule intake should be increased to 6300 a day and two “friendly” carbs, such as brown rice and wholegrain bread, introduced.

Phase three takes this step further by allowing moderate amounts of dairy, plus an increased carb and kilojoule intake, combined with exercise and strength training. Halle achieves this through gym workouts and regular yoga sessions.

“I notice a big difference in my attitude when I’m exercising. I’m happier and more confident,” she says. It shows!

The Fat Flush Plan by Ann Louise Gittleman PhD (National Textbook Co: $27.95).

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Travel sickness

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Hungry cat

Question:

I have a one-year-old cat who will eat anything, even pumpkin skin. We have got her on a strict diet of low calorie biscuits from my vet, but nothing fills her up. She is hungry 24 hours a day and will devour anything she can find. She has been tested for diabetes and thyroid problems and all is fine. She prefers not to exercise, even when prompted. How can I control her weight and make her healthy?

Sasha

Answer:

Certainly diabetes and hyperthyroidism are diseases that can cause ravenous appetites in cats, but usually not in cats this young and they usually lose weight with these conditions. I think your cat is just obsessed with eating! You have certainly done the right thing by having her on a low calorie diet, as this will minimise any weight gain while allowing her to eat a larger volume to feel full. You need to (with the help of your vet) determine what her ideal weight should be, considering her size and build. Then you can calculate exactly the amount of food she needs for nutrition. This amount can be rationed over several small meals for her during the day.

Try to play games with her to get her to move — chasing furry mice or balls or other cat toys might motivate her. Also make sure you do not reward her begging behaviour. If you feed her every time she begs for food, what will she do all the time? You got it. Instead, stick to a routine so she is fed regularly but not on her demand! See your vet regularly for weigh-ins to check that those scales are tipping in the right direction!

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Flat hair

Question:

I have really thin, straight hair, especially from the front — how can I get it to look fuller?

Anita

Answer:

Start by using a volumising shampoo and conditioner and a styling mousse. When drying your hair use a large, round bristle brush first and then roll hair up into Velcro rollers. After you take the rollers out, place hair where you want it to fall and spray hair with a strong-hold hairspray.

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Why roses may fail to bloom abundantly

roses

Shade

Roses won’t bloom in dense shade. Check they haven’t been overgrown by a tree or shrub. Roses grown against the house wall may be shaded by the eaves as they grow taller. Prune them lower or cut away vegetation around them.

Starvation

If the flowers are small or lose their petals after a day or two, if there aren’t regular spurts of new growth and buds and if the leaves are small and pale, your rose is hungry. Feed it. A scatter of Dynamic Lifter every two weeks or blood and bone or a proprietary rose food dusted over a good mulch. (On the other hand too much nitrogen leads to masses of green leaves and fewer flowers just like a child fed chips and iceblocks will have more than enough calories but never make a champion).

Earwigs

Earwigs love rose buds. Put out crumpled newspaper for the earwigs to shelter in during the day. Every second day stuff the old paper (and its cargo of earwigs) in the rubbish or compost or worm farm and put out new stuff. A thick band of tree grease — or any grease — will stop earwigs climbing up.

Too many rose hips

If you leave the dead flowers and rose hips on the bush there’ll be a long time between rose ‘flushes’ as the bush matures its seed. Prune off roses as soon as they’ve finished flowering — with a little extra as well. This constant mini pruning will stimulate new growth, and masses of blooms. Unless, of course, it’s an old variety that only flowers the once anyway — then you may as well have the hips.

Black spot

This is the rose disease. In mild cases the leaves just look splotchy and ugly; in really severe cases the shoots die back or the rose bush can lose nearly all its leaves and won’t flower either.

Black spot spores over winter, either on those deadish leaves that stay on the bush or on the soil, and incubate when there’s dew or other moisture on the foliage for four hours or more. (This means that in wet or humid weather your rose bushes need umbrellas to stay free of black spot).

Cover the bare soil by spreading with thick mulch every spring or late winter. Prune offall old foliage every winter and spray with Bordeaux spray. There are several commercial fungicides that can be sprayed every three weeks on the leaves during summer.

My response to black spot is to pretend I haven’t noticed the odd yellow and black blotched leaf. But if the bush is dying I spray with one teaspoon bicarbonate of soda mixed into one cup of milk and three cups water, every three days, both under and on top of leaves.

Well fed roses will outgrow black spot — at least most of them will (if you have a black spot prone Bourbon rose like La Reine Victoria, for example, you’ll need to stick it in a raincoat to stop it getting black spot entirely). Take a look at your spotty rose bushes. The old leaves will look awful — but the newest leaves will be unblemished. Remember too that in most varieties the more new growth, the more roses.

Other rose problems

Other rose problems include: root rots (give the bush a shove. If it seems shaky you have a problem), waterlogging, not enough new growth (hybrid tea roses for example bloom on new growth — and if the rose is on a diet it won’t bloom), too much or too little pruning (some roses like Constance Spry flower on last year’s wood; most hybrid teas need the new shoots that are stimulated by regular pruning to give a splashy display).

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Planting and feeding roses

roses

When to plant your roses

Now — spring to early summer. Because most roses bloom most magnificently in spring, so you can see them in bloom to choose which one you want to buy.

Winter is the time to buy bare root roses, ones that have been dug out of the ground when they are leafless. But you can also buy roses in pots at any time of the year, and plant them. Just remember to keep them moist for a few months after planting, especially if it’s very hot, or even give them a temporary shade cloth shelter for a month or two in a very hot climate, till their disturbed roots recover.

What to feed your roses

A good mulch. Lucerne is the classic rose mulch and roses really do brilliantly with it. You can buy bales of lucerne, or much easier, compressed lucerne in various forms.

Sugar cane mulch is also good for roses, as is pea straw, but not tan bark or any mulch that takes ages to break down, as earwigs will love it and then climb up and eat your rose buds. Stick to mulches that break down fairly fast and stay moist, and replace them when they look thin.

Rose tucker: you can buy special rose food, or use a good organic mix like Dynamic Lifter or Charlie Carp or any of a dozen others. I like old hen manure, stuff that’s broken down so it doesn’t pong and won’t burn the roots. A seaweed based foliar fertiliser — one that’s applied to the leaves — will also help prevent black spot and help the rose cope with cold and heat too.

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Lengthen and release

lengthen and release

Keep your pelvis, lower back and hips healthy with daily hamstring stretches, especially if you spend much of your working day sitting. Try this intermediate hamstring stretch in the kneeling position.

  • Kneel upright behind the back of a chair, about an arm’s length away. Place your hands on the back of the chair. Find a neutral spinal alignment.

  • Extend your right leg forward in line with your sit bone in parallel alignment, resting your heel on the floor with a slightly flexed foot. Be careful not to press the back of extended knee down to the floor.

  • Do not twist your hips by allowing the right hip to come forward.

  • Hinge your body slightly forward from the hips without swinging the pelvis or the kneeling leg backwards. Bend your elbows slightly as your body moves forward.

  • Maintain neutral spine. Do not hunch over. Hold for 10 breaths or 60 seconds before moving to the other side.

Copyright: The Australian Ballet 2005

Extracted from Bodywise, discover a deeper connection with your body; ABC Books; RRP: $34.95; fully illustrated. Available from all good bookstores.

Bodywise is written by staff at The Australian Ballet. In 2005 The Australian Ballet is performing throughout Australia and internationally. Visit The Australian Ballet’s website, www.australianballet.com.au for details.

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Top techniques for do-anywhere exercises

keyboard

No matter if you’re at home, work or travelling, it’s pretty easy to find a desk and a chair and a few minutes to squeeze in these body firming exercises.

Let us show you how with the right technique.

Smart chair squats

Pretend to sit down on a chair and just before sitting down stand up again.

Benefits: Ideal for strengthening and toning your thighs and buttocks and teaching you correct lifting technique to help your back. This exercise will also help you to get in and out of chairs without rocking backwards and forwards for years to come.

Top technique:

  • With this exercise it’s important to position a stable chair behind you that is knee height or a little lower for safety.

  • This exercise is similar to sitting down in a chair but just before your buttocks touch the chair, you stand back up again.

  • Before you start to sit down raise your arms parallel to the floor to assist your balance.

  • As you start to pretend to sit down, you will need to lean forward at your hips to maintain balance. Please note that it’s important to keep your back as straight as possible while completing the exercise, so you bend at the hips not the back.

  • Your knees at the bottom of the exercise (just before your buttocks touch the chair) should be in line with the middle of your foot, but not past the end of your toes. Your knees should also not be bent greater than 90 degrees.

  • Repeat the exercise until you are unable to return to standing position easily or approximately 10 times.

  • Breathe out on the way down and breathe in on the way up.

Desk push-ups

Just like a normal push-up, but done on a desk, you can make the exercise easier by completing it against a wall or harder by using a lower desk or chair then move to the floor.

Benefits: These will help those flabby arms to become strong and firm and strengthen the muscles in your chest.

Top technique:

  • Place your feet approximately one metre away from the desk about shoulder width apart.

  • Place your hands on the desk, again about shoulder width apart.

  • Use your feet as the axis and bend your arms and bring your chest down towards the desk.

  • When your chest reaches the desk your hands should be around shoulder height, if they are lower you will need to put your feet further away from the desk.

  • Now try and straighten your arms lifting yourself back to the starting point.

  • Repeat this 10 times if you can.

  • Breathing should be in on the way down and out on the way up.

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