Home Page 5685

I was with my brother’s girlfriend

When I was at university a close friend of mine, Kylie, got engaged. Not only was I to be a bridesmaid at her wedding but I also had the pleasure of organising her hen’s night. We were typically rowdy 23-year-olds and of course the night — complete with three male strippers — got completely out of hand. One of the guests was a striking 25-year-old woman called Helen, a childhood friend of the bride. I had never met her before, although I had heard so much about her from Kylie — I certainly knew her to be a party girl through and through! Helen and I hit it off immediately, dancing and laughing and hugging all night like old friends on a big night out.

Up until that night I had never considered having a relationship with a woman before, but the vibe with Helen was somehow different, and together with the effects of several bottles of champagne, my inhibitions were lost by the wee hours of the morning. Blame it on the booze or the steamy influence of the three guys — well, one thing led to another and before I knew what I was doing I found myself in the midst of a very romantic encounter!

The next morning, waking up in a strange bed with a strange woman I was thoroughly embarrassed. I was at an age where image was everything and my conservative upbringing did not allow for same gender one night stands! In retrospect it’s my little secret which I secretly enjoy, but at the time I was mortified in case I had been seen by any of our friends. Luckily for me, it appeared that the alcohol had affected everyone that was present and although I walked around with my head down for months after that, I seemed to have gotten away with it.

Six years have elapsed since then and I am now happily married myself and have a beautiful one-year-old. I have a very close-knit family life and most of my time revolves around family these days. Last weekend I visited my parents, as usual, for our regular Sunday barbecue. We were to also meet my tearaway older brother’s new girlfriend. I was shattered when I arrived at their house to discover that his new partner is none other than Helen — a little older and a little cheekier than I remember her from before. I froze as we were introduced and recoiled somewhat, a deep blush spreading across my face. Helen smiled at me, but she was equally shocked and the afternoon was very strained.

My brother — who has always adored me — called me that night, devastated by what he perceived to be my instant dislike of his new girlfriend. He has been seeing her for a few months and is desperately in love with her — he is even considering “popping the question” over Christmas! I tried to reassure him that I did like her but he wouldn’t hear a word of it, insisting that we had behaved like two jealous women and that there was a visibly bad vibe between us.

No-one knows the truth and I have no idea what to do or say. I have considered speaking to Helen to clear the air but I know that it would take months to feel normal around her, and vice versa for her. I fear that by the time we are able to treat each other “normally”, the weird tension between us will be noticed by the whole family. I certainly can’t confide in anyone — least of all my very conservative husband — and I now live in daily dread every time the phone rings and it is family calling.

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Shoes for a formal

Image: Getty

Question

What colour and style heels would best suit a pale yellow, shimmery cocktail dress?

Kim, via email.

Answer

Sounds like you need a strappy, gold or bronze shoe. Silver could also work if you had some silver jewellery to tie it all together.

Look in stores like Zu, Betts, Mollini, Myer, David Jones, and Wanted for loads for affordable formal shoe options.

The AWW Fashion Team

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Slimming beach options

Image: Getty

Question

I am going to the beach on the weekend and I haven’t lost any weight since I having my baby so I am quite large.

What should I wear in the water? My thighs are covered in cellulite and I am a size 18.

Brianna, via email.

Answer

Stripping down to your swimmers can often be a daunting thing especially at the start of the summer season. Luckily there are lots of options to help us feel more comfortable and covered up.

Find a swimwear style that is designed for larger sizes, these are function-built with bust support and tummy control panels. A one-piece or a tankini will offer the most coverage. Brands to look out for include: Palazzi, Ada, Miraclesuit, Jets.

To help cover your thighs try wearing a boardshort, most surf stores and department stores will carry a range of women’s board shorts.

The AWW Fashion Team

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Mother of the bride

Image: Getty

Question

Is it appropriate for the mother of the bride to wear a black dress? If not, what would you advise? I don’t want to wear a fuddy duddy suit as everyone seems to be suggesting.

Sue Thomas, via email.

Answer

Traditionally, black would not be the ideal colour for the mother of the bride. However these days, dress rules are far more relaxed, and black is slowly making an appearance on women in bridal parties.

We would suggest that black is only used as a last resort. Stereotypically, the mother of the bride is seen in the type of pastel coloured 3-piece suit you mention, which can look very dated.

If you feel more comfortable in darker colours, try olive green, charcoal or brown. Break it up with an interesting piece of jewellery or contrasting silk scarf or cropped jacket.

Go for a sleeker, sharp look in a pants suit. Try a lighter colour for a day wedding, soft linen for a beach wedding, or fine wool for evening. Wearing one colour from head to toe creates a flattering unbroken line that makes the wearer appear slimmer.

Use accessories to dress up plain clothes – embellished wraps, a beaded clutch, sparkly brooches, flower pins, silk scarves, and hats.

Another option is to have your outfit made. If you have a picture in your head and can never seem to find the right thing, this could be a great option. Find a beautiful fabric and have it made into what you want, and it will also fit you perfectly! Try looking for fabrics at Saigon Fabrics or Tessuti Fabrics.

Ultimately you need to wear what you are most comfortable in, weather it be black, pastels, pants or skirt. You want to enjoy this special day without worrying about your outfit.

Labels that specialise in occasion wear:

Carla Zampatti

Anthea Crawford

Lisa Ho

Jenny Bannister

Tea Rose

Wayne Cooper

Accessories:

Accessorize

Touche

Jan Logan

Monteperla

Jane Lambert

Ophelia

Yes Brazil

The AWW Fashion Team

Related stories


Home Page 5685

I turned down a famous country singer

Ever since I was a teenager, I have had a thing for country music stars. Well, musicians in general. I suppose I like the idea of fame and fortune. There is something that makes them stand apart from normal guys.

This never translated into my love life, however, and I have never gone out with or even kissed a musician. I don’t even think I know any musicians other than the guys that sing karaoke down at the RSL on the weekend and I don’t think that counts. I suppose I have been a bit unlucky in love — though not for want of trying.

Two years ago, I met the most wonderful man. He is gorgeous, good to me and really sexy. We hit it off straight away and a few months later we got engaged. I couldn’t have been happier. We were planning a short engagement.

It was around this time that I heard about a country music festival near where I lived that was a two day extravaganza of music with my favourite singers. I decided to go, but my new fiancé wasn’t into music at all and none of my girlfriends wanted to go, so I thought, “Why don’t I go alone?”

Well, the day arrived and I was really excited. It was kind of weird being alone but the great music was worth it. Towards the end of the night, it was hot and I think I may have been a bit tipsy. I was waiting in the line for the bathroom when I realised that I somehow was in the VIP area. I’m not sure how I got there but standing next to me was one of my favourite singers! We started chatting and he was so sweet and normal. He was wearing a great big western hat and was so gorgeous! He invited me to have a drink with him and of course I went.

The night rolled on and we were getting on really well. Not only was he very good-looking but he was smart and flirting with me! I couldn’t believe it. I did think now and then about my fiancé but this was a dream come true.

The last bus was leaving back to town and it was time to go. I was torn. I thought, “Should I stay?” I knew that this man wanted me to. Or was I to go home to my fiancé and miss the last chance I had of living out my fantasy? Being there with him was so different to my normal, boring life.

The musician took my hand and asked me to stay with him. I couldn’t help but lean forward and we kissed. What a kiss! Something happened, though, and my brain clicked. I stopped, looked him in the eyes and said “Goodnight”. I picked up my handbag and much to his surprise, I left. I just couldn’t have lived with myself if it went any further. My fiancé was so good to me. He may not been as exciting as this country star but I wasn’t about to find love here.

I have been thinking lately, while in bed next to my now-husband, what would have happened that night if I had stayed? Would it have mattered? Would things be different? I suppose I will never know. But whenever his song comes on the radio, I like to have a secret smile to myself.

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Shadow chaser

Question:

I was wondering what we could do with our 10-month-old puppy. She is a border collie named Misty and whenever light comes into the house or there are shadows on the ground from lights, she tries to dig the light up. We have tried distractions but she goes back to the same thing. Our carpet has threads loose everywhere. Please help save our carpet. Thanks.

Felicity Power

Answer:

Dogs certainly can chase things of interest such as shadows or lights, especially dogs from working breeds such as yours. Misty may just grow out of this behaviour on her own. However, if it gets worse or you feel this is severe, you should have her assessed by your vet. These dogs can suffer obsessive compulsive disorders such as you describe and it could be a sign of anxiety or a chemical imbalance in the brain. The vet can give her a thorough physical examination to look for any neurological or medical problems and refer you if need be. Treatment may involve medication or just behavioural therapy to try and reduce this habitual behaviour. Or they may decide treatment isn’t warranted and to just wait and see. Err on the side of caution and have her checked out.

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Mouse years

Question:

What is the lifespan of mice?

Danuta Elliott

Answer:

Poor little mice don’t grace this earth for very long. The lifespan of the average pet mouse is 18 months to two years, but they occasionally live up to three or four years.

While some people shriek at the sight of them or think they will contract some horrible disease, mice really are harmless and make lovely docile children’s pets. And they are inexpensive to buy and look after. Be warned that they will breed like there’s no tomorrow! Mice become sexually active at six to eight weeks of age. They show signs of heat every five days, their length of pregnancy is three weeks and they can have five to 15 in each litter. So in a very short time you could find yourself with lots of mouse cubs.

Look for healthy mice with clean eyes, mouth and bottom, shiny coat and good weight at about six weeks of age.

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Give blood

By Annette Campbell

Stuck for a really good Christmas gift idea?

How about the chance to save someone’s life? The Australian Red Cross Blood Service is making a special holiday-time plea for us all to take a little time to give some precious blood.

“Many of our regular blood donors take a well-earned holiday,” says Susannah Rands, the ARCBS’s Community Relations Manager. “But the need for blood never takes a break.

“So we need more people to donate to ensure an ongoing and constant supply during this period.

“And if you are already a donor, we’d love it if you could donate before you go away, or find a mobile service in the area you’re going to, and just give up an hour of your holiday to make a donation.”

Susannah explains that while one in 30 Australians regularly donates blood, one in three will need blood or blood products during their lifetime. And every donation can save three lives.

“Blood donations can help treat cancer, burns and even some newborn babies,” she says. “And we’re constantly needing to replenish our supplies, because while whole blood lasts 42 days, one of the most important components, platelets, only last for five days.”

When blood is donated, it’s taken to a processing area and separated into platelets (to help clotting, often used by patients undergoing chemotherapy); plasma (the most versatile component, which can be manufactured into a number of different products, for example to treat immune disorders); and red cells (for treating blood disorders like anaemia).

“Our supplies are constantly being shipped-out to hospitals for life-saving work,” says Susannah. “So as fast as it comes in, it goes out.”

She also adds that the need for blood increases each year, as the population increases.

“So we need more people to come forward and give blood. It’s one of the easiest things to do, to help save someone’s life.”

Did you know?

  • About 30 percent of blood donated is used for cancer patients.

  • Australia needs 20,000 donations every week to meet demand.

So how can we help?

You can donate blood either at “fixed-site” Red Cross donor centres, or any of their mobile units.

To find out about locations, opening times and whether you’re eligible, visit: www.donateblood.com.au or phone their national information line to make an appointment to donate on: 13 14 95.

Related Stories

Volunteer yourself!

GP checklist

Quit now

Related stories


Home Page 5685

Internet dating disaster

I’ve never been very lucky in love. I’ve gone from one failed relationship to the next, which is definitely not a good way to be. One year I made a New Year’s resolution to go without men for six months. I made it to two before I was back to my old bad habits. This time though, I wanted to try something new: see if I could get it right.

I invited the girls around for drinks and as usual, they were only too excited to help me with my man troubles. It was settled that Internet dating was the way to go. The next afternoon, I dragged myself to my computer, sat down and began to write a profile on a well known singles site.

This was frightening. I didn’t know who would be looking at what I had written or who’d be looking at my photo, so I decided to keep my photo for those who e-mailed me first. After putting my profile up on the site, I browsed the other profiles in search of Mr Right. Although I found Mr Rich, Mr Clingy and Mr Crazy, none of them was quite what I was looking for, so I gave up for the day.

That night I went out to dinner with my aunty who was visiting town. We had been very close ever since I was a little girl. She was also bringing my cousin Oliver. Oliver and I used to play all the time when we were children, but we hadn’t seen each other in years, so it was bound to be an interesting night. We met at a nice restaurant near my apartment and had a great night of conversation and good food. Oliver was doing well for himself. He owned his own small business and was only 27! Funnily enough, he too was Internet dating, which was an interesting topic of conversation.

When I got home, I sat down in front of the television for a few hours before my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to try the dating site again. After searching through another few profiles, I found one that sounded promising: short black hair, young, fit, handsome, businessman who enjoys tennis, movies and cuddles. Sounded perfect for me, so I sent him the default message of interest.

After five more minutes of browsing, I got a message back from tall, dark and handsome. He was interested in my profile! I couldn’t believe my luck. I hastily set up a chat room for the two of us and before I knew it, we were chatting away into the night. It was only small talk and flirting, but I was loving every second of it. He was sweet, funny and charming and I was having a great time talking to him.

I looked over at the clock and it was already two in the morning! I told him I had to go and he said he wanted to meet me. Something told me it probably wasn’t a great idea to meet him so soon, but my heart won over my brain and I began making arrangements for dinner the following night. I said good night and went straight to bed with a huge smile on my face.

The entire next day was spent fretting over what to wear, what make-up to use and what perfume to put on! My excitement was so overpowering that I hardly even realised I’d known this man for five hours and didn’t even know his name!

The time came to go to the restaurant we had chosen and if I do say so myself, I was looking hot! I brought a red rose with me and he was going to too, so that we could identify each other. During the cab ride there, my girlfriends texted me all their messages of luck and encouragement and the nerves began to set in.

I stepped into the restaurant sheepishly looking around for someone I recognised so that I might get out of this. However, after taking a few steps, I started to regain my confidence and looked around for a red rose. The man of my dreams was sitting alone in the restaurant waiting to meet me and sweep me off my feet into a life of romance and luxury, I just knew it.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of a rose petal across the room. I walked slowly towards the table and saw a man with black hair sitting with his back to me. My heat pounding with excitement, I reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. His head slowly turned as his eyes rose to meet mine and I stood frozen in horror.

It was none other than my cousin Oliver. That’s right, I was out on a date with the man of my dreams, my cousin! I was so embarrassed I almost died on the spot, but he was very nice about it and we ended up having a nice dinner anyway.

I have never been able to live this down with my friends and family. It definitely was my worst dating mishap to date.

Related stories


Home Page 5685

The face lift diet

Jennifer Lopez

This new diet promises an added bonus … as you lose weight you’ll look younger too!

Are you looking for weight loss and glowing skin? Dr Nicholas Perricone could be the expert to turn to! The American dermatologist and skincare guru has branched out into the diet market and has been getting great results with his book The Perricone Weight-Loss Diet (Penguin, rrp $29.95), which promises to dramatically reduce fat and wrinkles, and to boost energy. Celebrity devotees of his eating plan and anti-ageing products include Jennifer Lopez, Kim Cattrall, Courteney Cox and Oprah Winfrey.

The 28-day eating plan advocates foods that reduce inflammation and stabilise blood sugar, such as salmon, yoghurt, eggs, salads, fruits and vegetables, organic unsalted nuts, grains and legumes, and the healthy fats found in avocado, olives and olive oil. The plan also promotes the use of spices and healthy, tasty herbs like oregano and basil to add flavour to foods. The book takes a holistic approach to weight loss by incorporating herbal supplements that contribute to better sleep and less stress.

“A diet centred on breads, baked goods, snack foods, sweets, and other sugary, starchy foods results in unwanted weight gain and great difficulty in losing the weight,” Dr Perricone tells Woman’s Day. “My research has shown that the chief therapeutic intervention to prevent weight gain is the anti-inflammatory diet. I have observed significant weight loss in thousands of individuals who follow the simple formula of avoiding foods that are pro-inflammatory and choosing in their place foods with anti-inflammatory properties.”

Over two decades working with patients in a dermatology practice, Dr Perricone observed that the foods that made his patients’ skin healthier and younger-looking also helped them drop unwanted kilos. “The same foods that fight many diseases, ageing, skin sagging and wrinkling also cause significant weight loss — and they are safe for everyone, children and adults alike.”

The Perricone diet ditches kilojoule-counting in favour of long-lasting energy foods that keep the blood sugars from spiking — a principal of the Low GI Diet. “It is not the caloric value of the foods causing the weight gain. In fact, a rice cake only has around 40 calories [167 kJ]. However, because it is rapidly converted to sugar in the bloodstream, resulting in insulin release, it will cause you to store body fat,” Dr Perricone says.

Keeping the blood sugar stable has the added bonus of staving off hunger pains. Dr Perricone says his diet plan is suitable for anyone wanting to look and feel better, regardless of age. “It’s a healthy diet for everyone — especially those who wish to lose weight and keep it off without going hungry. It is not about deprivation. This is a way of life — a lifestyle that works for everyone.”

Related stories