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My secret love affair

I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years and as much as I loved him, things did get a little stale and routine in our relationship. On top of that, I found that my partner Tom and I were starting to take less notice in each other and definitely neglecting to take the time to listen and communicate with each other. I felt we were slowly slipping away.

When I started my new job at a corporate office I hit it off instantly with a colleague named Matt. I didn’t think anything of it at first and considering he had a long-term, yet far-distance relationship, why would I? We just had so much fun joking around with each other. I felt we were very similar and connected with and understood each other.

Well, another year and half went by, nothing really changing in either relationship. Tom and I were still distant but cared for each other and Matt and I still remained nothing but work friends. But one day Matt came to work to announce that he would be leaving to go travelling and working overseas indefinitely. His family owned and operated a very successful business in the USA and the opportunity to help his family expand the business was too good to pass up. Surprisingly, I was very disappointed and saddened by the news. During the day Matt approached me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him for good time’s sake before he left. It was an innocent invite so I accepted.

We went to the movies and it turned out to be a fun and platonic night. During the next few weeks we continued to go to the movies once a week and I slowly but surely developed feelings for him, but I kept it a secret. The next week Matt told me that he was going to have a going away party at his place and it was going to be a big night that would probably eventuate into a slumber night with all his mates from work. He invited me to come and promised that it was going to be a good night. I was excited but hesitant. First off, I didn’t know what I was going to say to Tom. All the times Matt and I went to the movies, I told Tom I was going with my friends from work but a slumber party with drunken adults was sure to raise questions. Secondly, I knew that if I was to go to this party, something was bound to happen between Matt and me. While spending time with Matt over the last few weeks I was picking up vibes and signs that the feelings I was having were mutual.

The night of Matt’s going away party arrived and we were all in good spirits. The night was getting on and a lot of the people decided to leave. As I had had too many drinks driving wasn’t an option, so staying the night was. We retreated to the room and Matt settled on the air mattress next to the main bed. However, it wasn’t long before I asked Matt to join me on the bigger bed. I partly felt guilty for taking his bed but of course I had a second motive. Matt joined me and it wasn’t long until we were fooling around with each other. It was a pretty long night, without much sleep at all. The next morning I was afraid that things would become very strange between us but they weren’t; they were better than ever. The final week before Matt left, I spent basically every day with him. We carried on like a puppy love couple, courting and fussing over each other. We had secret rendezvous and went to little, unknown coffee shops to spend time with each other. I have to say I did feel very foolish and guilty for lying to Tom but at the same time I was so consumed by the feeling of young love. And as naïve, foolish and selfish as that sounds, that’s exactly what it felt like for me.

At the end of the week Matt left and I was devastated. Tom could tell something was wrong and noticed a dramatic change in my persona. I was very down and just blamed it on work stress. I know what Matt and I had was very unrealistic and irresponsible but I couldn’t help myself. As I said, I felt we shared a special bond from the start but now it was gone.

I was grateful for the time we had, nonetheless, and our lives had to move on. Matt went overseas, met up with his long-term partner and helped with the family business. I hear from him from time to time but even if I do see him again, it will only be as friends. I got over my little affair but I thought a lot about it after the first few months Matt was gone. I still do now sometimes. I never told anyone about what happened. It’s just a distant memory now that, as much as I feel guilty about it, I am thankful for also.

Picture posed by models.

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Eat all day and lose weight!

Hollywood’s leading ladies know all about slimming… and now you can, too!

‘By eating every three hours, you’re never hungry and constantly reset your metabolism’. Tinseltown’s brightest lights are usually a fickle bunch when it comes to diets.

Over the last few years, the fad-diet bandwagon has been overloaded with A-list names, all vying with each other to be the first to endorse a particular diet — only to drop it a few months later when the next food guru rolls into town.

But now, it seems, things have changed.

Led by some of the most beautiful women in the world, those in the know have given up on the starvation-and-deprivation diets and waved goodbye to complicated, percentage-based eating plans.

Carbs are back in vogue — and, miraculously, so is eating.

In fact, now the most popular way to stay in shape in Hollywood is to eat all day long.

The high-profile A-listers who have opted out of dieting hell include Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, Penélope Cruz, Lucy Liu, Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Garner, Uma Thurman, Cindy Crawford, Jessica Biel, Halle Berry… we could go on.

They have their personal trainers to thank — and some scientific research — for this happy change of heart towards eating. Judging by how fantastic they all look, it appears eating all day is one trend that’s here to stay.

It’s great news for anyone who has ever found diets difficult to stick to (is there anyone who hasn’t?) and for all those who actually enjoy eating. The new way to slim is never to go hungry, eat between meals, and enjoy the foods we have previously been denied and therefore craved.

Boost blood sugar

Does this sound too good to be true? Well, here’s the science behind it.

It is all about speeding up the metabolism, explains Dan Benardot, PhD, professor of nutrition, kinesiology and health at Georgia State University.

“Blood sugar fluxes every three hours, so if you don’t eat something to raise the blood sugar, metabolic rate can slow down,” he says.

During his research, Dan discovered this even applied to athletes. Female athletes who ate their total daily food intake in three big meals — as opposed to five or six smaller ones — tended to have higher body fat percentages and lower energy levels.

Dan puts this down to the extended time between meals. He is keen to stress how important it is to keep blood sugar levels steady in order to prevent the need to binge.

“One of the stimulants to hunger is low blood sugar,” he says. “If you let yourself get really hungry and find a bag of unpeeled carrots and a ready-to-eat cake in the refrigerator, which would you choose?”

We are programmed to eat for energy — but if we don’t listen to that programming, we can easily upset the natural balance of our bodies, which leads to a vicious cycle of binge/starve and weight gain.

On top of all that, our moods will suffer, making us even more prone to pigging out on the wrong foods.

Think of your metabolism as a furnace you need to keep stoked. If you let it go out, there will be nothing to burn the fuel that goes into the body, meaning it will store it as fat.

Graze away

A speedy metabolism is what it is all about in Hollywood right now. Bobby Strom, trainer to Britney Spears and Jessica Biel, says you can easily boost your metabolism and kick-start weight loss.

By “grazing” your way through the day, the weight will fall off naturally.

“Your metabolism gets so revved up it zaps the extra kilojoules,” Bobby says.

During his time spent training Jessica, he divided her normal three meals a day into six smaller ones.

“Because she increased her frequency of eating but decreased her portions, she actually lost about 4kg, as well as 10% body fat,” Bobby says.

Valerie Waters, trainer and food guru to such stars as Jennifer Garner, Uma Thurman, Cindy Crawford and Kate Beckinsale, claims the biggest pitfall she sees in her work is people who go several hours without eating as a means of losing weight.

“Then your body is no longer OK with a healthy salad and chicken breast,” she says. “Your food cravings will override anything at that point, and your body will want sugar and fat, so you’ve chemically set yourself up to eat badly.”

Valerie encourages all her clients to eat regular healthy meals… and never to even think of starving. Harley Pasternak, who honed Halle Berry into shape, preaches that five meals a day are needed to maintain blood-sugar levels.

He doesn’t worry about kilojoules or carbs. His message is to eat sensibly and include a good balance of lean protein and fibrous carbs (grains, fruit and vegies). “Eat five meals a day, including fibre, low-fat protein, healthy fat and non-sugar beverages,” he advises.

“By eating every three hours, you’re never hungry and constantly reset your metabolism,” confirms Jorge Cruise, fitness guru and author of The 3-Hour Diet. “My three-hour diet is about uncovering the buried concept of timing — the fact that when we eat is critical to weight loss.”

Jorge believes that a little of what you fancy also does you good.

“I never advocate deprivation,” he says. “If you want something sweet, you’ve got to indulge or you’ll just end up bingeing and regretting it.

“You can be smart about how you enjoy dessert. There are no bad foods, just bad portions.”

It’s about time

Grant Roberts, a fitness expert who works with Hilary Swank, among others, concedes that getting into shape is a science.

“But it’s not rocket science,” he quickly adds. “Forget the fad diets and pills. The most potent weight-management drug on the market is in your market — it’s food!”

One person who thinks it is about time Hollywood caught up with what she has been saying for years is Paulette Maisner, author of The Food Trap and founder of the very successful Maisner Centre For Eating Disorders.

Paulette has long preached the benefits of regular small meals. Having been a compulsive eater herself, she fought and eventually won the endless diet battle by constructing an eating plan that kept blood-sugar levels steady and therefore stopped the urge to binge.

“The best way to maintain a good blood-sugar level is to eat many small meals and snacks during the day,” she says.

“These should contain protein and carbohydrate. For example, a quick and easy snack would be a glass of skimmed milk with a piece of fruit.”

Paulette’s plan — the golden rules

  • Eat six times a day — 3 meals and at least 3 snacks a day.

  • Start every day with a protein breakfast.

  • Include 90g of protein in your diet each day.

  • Include 30g of fibre each day.

  • Do not eat any concentrated sugars.

  • Any bread, pasta or rice should be wholegrain.

  • Avoid alcohol and caffeine.

Sample menu

Breakfast: A boiled egg with wholemeal toast and a piece of fruit.

Snack: Two slices of lean ham and a piece of fruit.

Lunch: Chicken breast and salad.

Snack: Low-fat yoghurt with handful of unsalted nuts such as almonds, or fruit.

Dinner: Lean roast lamb, with green vegies, carrots and ½ a jacket potato.

Snack: Wholewheat crispbreads with tuna and tomato. Or a glass of skimmed milk and a banana.

Tip

You can turn your normal three meals into six by dividing breakfast, lunch and dinner in half, and eating the second half three hours after the first. As long as you keep the portions smaller than you would have if you’d lumped it all together in three meals, you won’t overload your system and will keep your metabolism revved up. This will improve energy, help you lose weight and give you a much better mood.

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Too much toast and pasta

Judy Davie

Now that daylight saving is over and the temperature has dropped I can’t stop thinking about food. I’m eating much more toast and pasta and don’t feel like eating nearly as much fruit and salad. I really don’t want to gain any weight. What do you suggest?

Kim — Geelong

It’s quite common to eat more carbohydrates during autumn and winter. Carbohydrates like bread, rice, pasta, cakes and biscuits are the preferred source of energy by the body, and when we’re cold we choose these foods as a quick fuel to heat up.

The first strategy is very simple. If you think this could be the reason for extra carb consumption then wear some warmer clothes!

There is also a condition called SAD (seasonal adjustment disorder) a condition that effects women more than men. During dull weather and reduced hours of sunlight we can become anxious, depressed or just plain “blah” (out of sorts). When carbohydrates are eaten the brain makes a chemical called serotonin which makes us feel good and aids sleep. They are comforting and feel like an internal blanket has been wrapped around us. The treatment for SAD is not as simple as putting on another layer of clothing, but it can be eased by taking the herbal supplement St John’s Wort, spending as much time in the sunlight as possible, lying under a sunbed, or eating foods rich in Vitamin D. These foods include cod liver oil, eggs, fatty fish like salmon, mackerel and sardines and liver. Other foods which may help to lift seasonally adjusted depression include wholegrain cereals, nuts and seeds, garlic, cayenne pepper, ginger, fennel, dill, coriander and basil.

While you are working through this you must at least ensure that you are eating the best possible carbohydrates. These are wholegrain carbohydrates and include bulgar, oats, barley, wholegrain bread, legumes and wholemeal pasta. Not only do they contain more B vitamins to help to fight mild depression, they also have a low GI and will keep you feeling sustained for longer.

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Asthma

By Annette Campbell

Most of us either know someone with asthma, or live with the chronic respiratory disease itself.

One in six Aussie school kids has asthma, while the number of people living with it worldwide is predicted to rise from 300 million to 400 million by 2025.

Disturbingly, Australia has the third highest prevalence of this condition in the world — with 2.2 million people affected.

But just in time for World Asthma Day (May 6), there is also some good news.

“Although the general statistics on asthma are concerning, there is a lot of great work being done to help people affected by this chronic condition,” says the Asthma Foundation of NSW’s Acting CEO, Mimi St John Austen.

“In 2001, the Asthma Friendly Schools program was launched, to address the need for schools to support the growing number of children with asthma and be able to better handle asthma emergencies when they arise.

“Also there has been some breakthrough research — including the testing of a vaccine that may help stop the onset of asthma in children.”

So what causes asthma?

People with asthma have sensitive airways in their lungs. When they are exposed to certain triggers their airways narrow, making it hard for them to breathe.

Common triggers include:

  • viral infections, such as colds

  • allergies, such as pollen, moulds and dust mite

  • passive smoking exposure

  • preservatives and food colourings and some foods

  • cold air

How is it treated?

The aim of all asthma management is to reduce asthma symptoms, so that the person can lead a full and active life. The best way to achieve this is to avoid triggers and through the correct use of asthma medications. There are four types of asthma medications:

  1. Relievers — (usually in blue/grey containers) provide relief of asthma symptoms within minutes.

  2. Preventers — (usually in brown, white yellow or orange containers) reduce the swelling and inflammation in the airways.

  3. Symptom Controllers — (usually in green containers) are long-acting relievers which last for up to 12 hours.

  4. Combination medications (purple and red) are medications that combine a preventer medication and symptom controller, which are taken together in one inhaler device.

World Asthma Day is Tuesday May 2, and this year’s theme is the ‘Unmet Needs of Asthma’.

More Information

If you’d like more information about asthma or World Asthma Day events, phone the Asthma Foundation’s free national information line on: 1800 645 130 or visit www.asthmansw.org.au

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Straightening wavy hair

straight hair

Question:

What is the best treatment to keep my wavy hair straight without doing any damage and making it frizz too much?

Kelly Cook, Wangaratta, VIC.

Answer:

Anthony Nader of RAW salon in Darlinghurst, Sydney, suggests taming wavy hair by using products that contain lanolin for moisture, such as Schwarzkopf ExtraCare ZeroFrizz Finishing Polish, $5, and jojoba oil to give a brilliant shine, such as RAW Essentials by Anthony Nader Shampoo, Conditioner and Treatment, $12.95 each.

He recommends adding “a few longer layers to your haircut to reduce the volume on the ends, which will make your hair much easier to straighten. Blow-dry hair straight using a jumbo round brush — stretch hair out and away from your head as you blow-dry and keep the nozzle of the hairdryer directing heat down the hair shaft, as this will smooth the cuticle, lock in shine and eliminate frizz. Use a very small amount of shine serum — warm it up in your hands first — and distribute from ends to mid lengths. The result: long-lasting, glossy, straight hair.”

The AWW Beauty Team

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Five minute make-up

make-up

Question:

I am not a person who can spend an hour doing my make-up. Is there a quick routine you can tell me about?

Michelle, Croydon, NSW.

Answer:

According to make-up artist Napoleon Perdis, your daily routine can be fast and simple. Follow his “five steps in five minutes” advice.

Step 1: Skin. Start with a primer to give your foundation a longer-lasting and more even finish. Try Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot Pre-Foundation Skin Primer, $45. Use concealer to even out skin tone, cover blemishes, blend under eyes and along the T-zone. Always set with a face powder for a flawless finish.

Step 2: Cheeks. Try a liquid or cream blush on cheeks and lips to add a healthy glow that lasts throughout the day.

Step 3: Eyes. By curling lashes and adding three applications of mascara, your eyes will instantly open up and have definition without needing eyeshadow.

Step 4: Lips. Nourish lips with a gloss or lip balm.

Step 5: Glow. Finally, warm the face with a touch of bronzer.

The AWW Beauty Team

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Solution for dry skin

almonds

Question

I have excessively dry skin all over my body, as well as dandruff. Can you recommend anything?

Joan, East Ringwood, Vic.

Answer

Naturopath and herbalist Penelope Sach says excessively dry skin needs to be treated both internally and externally. For a topical application, she suggests twice-daily treatment with an at-home “miracle worker” cream that combines one tablespoon each of chamomile cream, calendula cream and sorbolene.

Zinc and essential fatty acids, such as omega-3 and omega-6, are great for general internal skin health. Naturopath Di Strang says essential fatty acids reduce inflammation and keep the cell membrane stable, while zinc controls inflammation and assists in tissue regeneration and repair.

She suggests that, as an alternative to taking zinc and essential fatty acids as supplements, you should include in your diet foods high in omega-3 and omega-6, such as cold-water fish (tuna, salmon and mackerel, for example), nuts, avocado and good oils such as olive and sunflower seed. Foods high in zinc include shellfish, hard cheese, eggs, nuts and poultry.

The AWW Beauty Team

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Short hair and winter trends

Image: Getty

Question

I have cropped, boy-short hair. I love the military style that is in this winter, as well as the vests and hats. How do I wear these and look feminine at the same time?

Jess, via e-mail.

Answer

To keep your look feminine with these winter trends make sure you add a feminine element to your outfit. Here are some ideas:

  • Wear a military style jacket to work with a pencil skirt and boots.

  • Layer a vest over a lacy shirt, or wear it over a simple top teamed back with a folkloric skirt, patterned hosiery and flat boots for a Russian inspired look.

  • To avoid a boyish look wearing a hat, add more accessories. Take advantage of the bead and bangle craze this winter and layer them on for some colourful girly fun.

The AWW Fashion Team

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Recharge your batteries

rug

Some days are so hectic, emergency measures are called for to create some calm. Progressive relaxation requires no special equipment — just a floor.

Note: Your body temperature will drop, so have a light rug handy.

  • Lie down, and close your eyes. Breathe in deeply through your nose, and out through your mouth. Focus on your abdomen as the breath fills it, then as it falls when you exhale. Visualise tension leaving your body with each exhalation, bit by bit.

  • Shift your attention to different parts of your body, beginning with your feet. Imagine them becoming so heavy that you couldn’t possibly move them. Now shift your focus up your body, to your stomach, arms, and head: see them as becoming heavy and soft, and continue to imagine tension flowing away with each out-breath.

  • Stay where you are for as long as you can. Being in a deeply relaxed state can alter your sense of time: you may feel as though half an hour has passed, but it’s only been a few minutes.

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Nutrition advice for endurance sports

sports drink

A race such as the Forster Ironman Triathlon places huge demands on your body physically and emotionally. As well as dehydration, the key challenge your body faces is carbohydrate depletion. That’s why it’s essential to plan ahead and adjust your diet just before the big event.

Three days before

Muscle glycogen stores will be challenged during an ultra-endurance event such as Forster. In fact, about 90 minutes into the race your glycogen stores could become depleted. To overcome this problem and delay fatigue, it is essential to carbohydrate load. This regime can double your muscle glycogen stores and enhance your performance. Studies have shown that the greater the glycogen stores initially, the longer exercise can be sustained.

Carbo-loading should commence three days prior to the race, at which time you should taper your training, to minimise glycogen use. You will also need to significantly increase your intake of carbohydrate to 70-80% of your total kilojoule intake, and drink plenty of fluids as well.

The day before

The day before the race, you should reduce the amount of fibre in your carbohydrate-loading diet to prevent any gastrointestinal distress during the race. For instance, replace wholemeal/wholegrain breads and cereals with white varieties, include more easily digestible carbohydrates such as glucose confectionary and jelly and use high carbohydrate drinks.

The morning of

With the race starting so early, it is important to plan your pre-race schedule carefully, and in advance. Your pre-race meal should be eaten approximately 2 hours prior to the race start, allowing it time to digest. This may mean that eating is your first priority upon rising.

For your pre-race meal, choose carbohydrate-rich foods like canned fruit and yogurt to top up your liver glycogen stores and blood sugar levels. This meal should also be low in fibre to prevent gastrointestinal distress, as well as being low in protein and fat as these take longer to digest and do not contribute to glycogen stores.

Some triathletes may feel too nervous to eat before the race. If this is the case, choose a liquid meal supplement like Sustagen Sport. These are very easy to digest and you will probably find it easier to drink than to eat solid foods if you have butterflies or an upset nervous stomach.

During the race

Hopefully you have started you race well hydrated and well fuelled. The next step is to top up your fluids and fuel as you power through the event. On average you need around 50g of carbs an hour and depending on the weather and whether you are a heavy sweater or not, you could need around 1 litre of fluid an hour. This is where sports drinks are very useful because they can top up your carbs as well as electrolytes (salts) and fluid.

Recovery

Just when you thought it was all over and you could finally celebrate, you need to think about recovery. To help you recover from this gruelling event you need start the recovery process as quickly as possible. You need some protein to help repair the muscles as they’ve worked extremely hard over many hours. You also need to replenish your energy stores, re-hydrate and replace the salts that your body has lost. The problem is that you generally don’t feel like eating at all. Good recovery foods include sports drinks, glucose confectionary like jelly snakes, yogurt drinks, salted nuts or pretzels or even a simple cheese and vegemite sandwich.

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