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October 22, 2006

I exposed my boss’s sexual harassment

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When I was 15 years old I worked in a butcher’s shop after school and on weekends.

There were a few butchers working there and they were nice to the girls who were the shop staff, but then a new butcher started working there. He seemed nice at first, but one day during a shift, he brushed past me and as he did, he pushed his groin into my backside!

This occurred in a part of the shop where the counter was, which was a narrow part of the shop front. No one else saw this at the time and I was absolutely shocked! This man who was three times my age was taking advantage of me being naive and young, thinking that I wouldn’t say anything.

Initially, I thought it to be some kind of mistake, so I kept working there, and then another incident occurred that made me change my mind.

On another shift, I was in the narrow part of the shop again when I looked up and saw him watching me, and when I kept working in the same spot he came over and brushed past me, this time along my front, and rubbed himself along me as he went past! I was disgusted to say the least.

This time I decided to do something about it and I spoke to another girl who was working with me who was in her twenties and asked whether she had noticed what had happened. She admitted that she also had been targeted by this disgusting man and said not to say anything as we would probably be fired.

He also got along well with the other butchers so I didn’t think they would believe me, so I didn’t say anything.

I decided I didn’t want to work in this sort of environment, but I wanted to give this disgusting person a taste of their own medicine first.

I worked out a plan, which depended on customers being in the shop, and I was ready for the next episode. As it turned out it happened during Saturday at lunchtime when we were quite busy.

He brushed up against me, quite hard this time, and actually smiled — a smirky kind of smile — and that’s when I turned to the line and said in a really loud voice, “Keep your hands off me Gary. I don’t like you rubbing yourself against me and touching me in that way!” And I looked him straight in the eyes.

He just stood there with a red face and the whole shop just went quiet and stared at him and I remember some people even shaking their heads in disgust.

I left that day with my pay, that I demanded, and an intense feeling of empowerment!

Picture posed by models.

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October 22, 2006

Illegal organ removal

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By Caroline Fisher

In 1986 Raymond and Ruth Tanner had to watch helplessly as their precious baby James struggled for survival.

“James was born with an inoperable heart condition and it was gut-wrenching watching our first-born son struggling to breathe.”

After two days on breathing apparatus, James’ breathing tube was removed.

“It was my birthday and they said, ‘There’s no blood going to his brain,'” says Raymond.

Seven days later James gave up the fight and died. His parents started the long and painful process of grieving for their child.

Then, in 2001 Raymond was driving along listening to talk back radio.

“The Liberal Minister for Human Services, Dean Brown was talking about a recent scandal involving the illegal removal of babies’ hearts and brains by Adelaide’s Women’s and Children’s Hospital and their storage in the hospital’s basement,” recalls Raymond.

From 1957 to 1990 over 1000 hearts and brains had been removed during post-mortems without authorisation, from babies and adults, and kept in the hospital for medical research.

“I phoned the hotline number and Ruth and I were in shock when we were told that our baby son James’ heart and brain had been removed, examined and then his brain disposed of as medical waste.”

After James died, the cardiologist from Adelaide’s Women and Children’s Hospital had phoned Raymond and Ruth to ask if an autopsy could be done on James’s heart.

“We agreed,” says Raymond, “but we both assumed that his heart had been put back into his body and it was intact when he was cremated. Now we know it wasn’t.”

As a result of this awful and unlawful practice, 110 parents successfully fought a class action, suing the South Australian Government for a payout of over a million dollars. However, Raymond and Ruth chose not to sue.

“We didn’t want to go through the stress and it wouldn’t have resolved the situation,” Raymond said. He has since found out that the majority of those who chose to sue had also asked for the return of the organs.

In July 2002, the South Australian Government held a memorial service for the families affected. Raymond described the memorial service as, “a very rewarding and soul-searching experience.”

He and Ruth wonder what they would have done if the hospital had asked for permission to remove James’ organs.

“If we had been asked, we would have probably said ‘yes’. But it was the secrecy in taking James’ organs, particularly his brain, and then just throwing it away, that was very hurtful,” said Ruth.

In 1990, the laws were changed, making it compulsory for family consent to be obtained before removing organs.

In 1992, Raymond and Ruth discovered why baby James had been born with the defects that took his life.

“I have a condition called VCFS or Velco Cardio Facial Syndrome. This is a condition that causes a range of problems,” says Raymond. “I was born with a cleft palate, protruding forehead, cauliflower ears and webbing between my fingers and toes,” but it wasn’t detected till I was 43.

James’ heart was used by the hospital for research into this condition. Raymond and Ruth say they have now given permission for his heart to remain at the hospital.

“Our decision was not an easy one, but we have been through so much that we now feel more at peace with our decision. If James’ heart has helped cardiologists to better understand VCFS, then good had come out of this awful experience.”

Raymond has written a book about his experiences titled, Footprints of Hope

For more information about VCFS, visit www.vcfs.com.au or www.vcfsef.org

Donations can be made to the VCFS Foundation Queensland:

**The secretary

1 Milman Street

Clayfield

Qld 4011

** Donations to the foundation will support the VCFS Qld Clinic at the Mater Children’s Hospital.

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October 18, 2006

Furry friends

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This is my 4-year-old border collie Rocky! Laura.

This is our Ragdoll cat Isabella when she was a kitten. She gets away with anything with that face. Danielle.

This is our dog Muttley. He is so adorable, but very mischievous. Toni.

This is Rory from Perth. Nora.

This is my blue cattle dog Griffin. He loves to relax after a hard day. Jacqueline.

My boy, MM. When we adopted him he was 7 weeks old. Li Meng.

This is our Bearded Dragon Norco who we have had for about 4 months. She is over double this size now and is still growing. Elisha.

These are our babies — Oscar (the Border Collie) and Anani (the Malamute). Sharon and Frazer.

This is my Silky Terrier Rusty. He spotted the green tree frog. Love your mag, look forward to Mondays. Rita.

Finnegan

My cat Finnegan in his favourite position — upside down for sleeping. Bron.

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October 18, 2006

Losing weight fast

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By Judy Davie

‘I have to lose weight fast. My husband has a work function in two weeks and I have to go. I can’t fit into my only dress. Help!’

It would be much better for you if your husband shouted you a new dress. Crash diets never work and usually result in any weight lost being replaced with some more added.

If, however, you promise yourself to cut down your intake dramatically as a kick-start to a long-term healthy weight-loss plan and combine it with daily cardio exercise you could lose as much as 2kg in two weeks. Two kilos may not seem a lot, but it does amount to a significant volume of fat and makes a noticeable difference on most people who lose this amount of weight.

Start by choosing to eliminate the “don’t need to eat” from the “must eat” foods. Think about the foods you typically eat and categorise them using the guide below.

Make a plan to exercise every day for the next two weeks with a view to cutting it back to five or six times a week once the event is over. A fast-paced walk for 60 minutes (approx 6km/h) will help boost the metabolism and kick start weight loss. You could break it up to two walks of 30 minutes but make sure you walk to the point you can’t hold a normal conversation.

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October 17, 2006

Face creams

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Question:

Hi Mary, I’m in my early fifties and would like to know what is a really good lotion or cream for deep wrinkles. I have oily skin so can’t use really rich creams. There are so many new ones claiming to give great results. Please help.

? Thanks, Stephanie.

Answer:

It can be confusing selecting a suitable moisturiser for your skin type, especially when there is a large variety to choose from. Visit different cosmetic counters and get your skin analysed by professionals and try a few samples before deciding which one to purchase. One worth trying is L’oreal Paris Age Perfect, designed for mature skin to firm and re-hydrate without leaving the skin oily.

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October 15, 2006

He thought she was me

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I am one of identical twins. My sister and I were so alike when we were younger that we did the usual twin things like pretending to be each other in class, with friends and even with boyfriends.

It was this ability to fool people into thinking we were the other when we needed to that gave me the idea that has become my secret to this day.

I say my secret because Joanne, my twin, died 17 years ago on what was our 38th birthday. Part of me died on that day and I still refuse to celebrate my birthday and usually take to my bed the night before and don’t surface again until the day after.

Although we were physically almost mirror images of each other, Joanne was the more introverted of us. I started dating just after our 13th birthday and, although it pains me to admit, I wasn’t as choosy as I should have been. In fact, I was just plain promiscuous.

Then, when I was 19 and on holiday, I met Robert. I fell for him like a ton of bricks, as he did for me. Robert didn’t even try to kiss me goodnight; he was such a gentleman, he didn’t touch me for the whole two weeks we were together. I showed the first lick of sense I’d exhibited since I was 13 and behaved as demurely as possible; I just knew my usual dating behaviour would have appalled him.

As we said goodbye at the end of my holiday, Robert asked for my address; he was to visit my city in a couple of weeks.

When we saw each other again it was absolute heaven. Robert became a little carried away at the end of the night and castigated himself for being so un-gentlemanly towards me. The next night he proposed. He said he couldn’t wait for long, and could we marry as soon as possible? In record time we arranged our wedding and reception and booked the hotel for our honeymoon night.

This night, of course, I was dreading. Robert might be a gentleman, but he was not stupid, he would soon figure out I was not a virgin. What was I to do? This man was the love of my life, so I deceived him for the only time in our married life.

I asked Joanne to do the biggest favour for me she had ever done; sleep with Robert on our wedding night. She didn’t want to do it. She was saving herself for her own wedding night. But, after 19 years of doing anything for each other, she couldn’t hold out for long, especially as she knew how much it meant to me.

I suppose what I was asking of her was the next worse thing to dying for me, and she would have done that without blinking. So, my precious sister gave up her virginity for me.

Picture posed by model.

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October 12, 2006

Down Syndrome Awareness Week

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By Annette Campbell

Did you know that, although the incidence of births of children with Down syndrome (DS) increases with the age of the mother, most children born with DS are actually born to women aged younger than 35?

Also, although it’s widely assumed people with DS are always happy, they can be hurt and upset just as easily as the rest of us.

This year, Down Syndrome Awareness Week begins on Sunday October 15. The aim of the event is to raise awareness of the condition — one of the most common causes of intellectual disability.

“Babies born with Down syndrome will grow up in their family homes, with their brothers and sisters, as valued members of the family, who often bring unexpected gifts to the family,” says Jill O’Connor, Information Officer of Down Syndrome NSW. “Having a child with Down syndrome takes us on a journey that might be unexpected, but it is not the tragedy that we may have anticipated.”

What is Down syndrome?

It’s one of the most frequently occurring chromosomal conditions found in humans. Worldwide, approximately one baby in 860 is born with Down syndrome. It is caused by an extra copy of chromosome 21 (Trisomy 21), and is considered a chromosomal accident — not caused by anything that a parent may worry they have ‘done’ during the pregnancy.

Although the syndrome is recognisable at birth due to some fairly typical physical characteristics, a chromosome analysis will confirm the diagnosis.

Living with Downs

People with Down syndrome live at home and are integrated into the community, schools and the workforce. People with DS do have features in common, but they also closely resemble their parents and family, and share family personality traits. Each person is an individual with unique appearance, personality and set of abilities.

Where can parents go for help?

Each state has a Down Syndrome Association, which can provide vital support and information. Down Syndrome NSW can help you find the group closest to you — their web address is: www.dsansw.org.au or you can phone them on: (02) 9683 4333.

As part of their fund and awareness raising efforts for Down Syndrome Awareness Week, DS NSW is hosting an event called ‘Walk With A Mate’ — a stroll over the Sydney Harbour Bridge followed by a picnic lunch at the Botanic Gardens.

You can contact them (see details above) for more info. And to find out about events in other states, contact the relevant DS Association (DS NSW can help!)

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October 10, 2006

Loving you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful

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Here is a pic of my baby, Hudson, at 8 weeks. He is a Bichon Frise X Toy Poodle. Isn’t he just adorable? Linda.

This is my 1-year-old boy Binky. He rarely lays any other way, unless it’s curled up in the bathroom basin! He looks like a rug! Shannon.

This is my baby, Crystal. She is a Tebetian Spaniel X Mini Foxy. Jen.

Phang Phang my 4-year-old Persian. He’s got the evil look but he is really good at heart. Lina.

This is our gorgeous little sausage dog. Her name is Pablito! Emma.

This is Ruby with her toy dog Oscar. Ingrid.

Hi, this is my puppy Sergeant (he’s one on October 12) when he was 9 weeks. He’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Mim.

Grace

This is my gorgeous girl Spacey Gracey – always happy to play.

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October 10, 2006

Exercise and your dog

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By Lucy Hine

If you’re wondering how to lose those few extra kilos, grab your dog and a leash and get walking. Physical exercise is vital to the health and wellbeing of you and your dog.

Exercising together not only develops the bond you have with your pet but also stimulates your mental health, concentration, circulation and prevents you and your dog from getting bored and overweight.

Owning a dog is a great exercise motivator ? straining at their leash, whining and barking are all ways to let you know when walk-time is approaching!

Proper lead etiquette is important, as you don’t want to be that person being dragged along by an over-excited dog while passersby snigger and laugh at your expense.

Ideally you should train your dog to walk beside you without straining on the lead by using verbal praise and treats for good behaviour. This ensures your walk will be comfortable and safe … and less embarrassing too!

Commands like “heel” and “here” or “come” should be taught to ensure your dog obeys in situations where you are approaching a busy road or walking near a mother with a pram.

Aim to power walk or even attempt a slow jog so your dog can easily trot beside you and burn all that energy they’ve been suppressing while lying in the backyard all day. Power walking will also give you a great cardiovascular workout and is good for weight loss.

Walking your dog for 30-60 minutes every day also ensures your dog gets out of the house and is less likely to develop annoying, continuous barking or other boredom-killing habits like digging. Certain breeds like cattle or sheep dogs require a full hour’s walk.

Regular walks also provide your dog with variety and a chance to socialise with people and other dogs. Make sure you vary your walks by going to different parks or dog exercise areas, or spoil your pet by taking him or her to a beach with a designated dog area.

Make sure you also take note of the golden rule of dog walking and take a plastic bag to dispose of any “accidents”.

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October 10, 2006

Lightening black hair

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Question:

I have been dyeing my shoulder length hair black for some years now, but would like to change the colour. Can I do this with the black? Or do I have to wait for it to grow out and then cut the black out?

? Resli

Answer:

Yes, it’s possible to change the colour of your hair without having to cut it off. This is a total colour change and expert application is essential, so visit your hairdresser rather than doing it yourself at home. After a colour change it is advisable to apply regular hair masques and treatments to keep hair looking healthy and shiny as opposed to dry or ashy.

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Finnegan

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Grace

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