By Jacqui Lang
At 61, British grandma Wendy Salisbury has been bedding a stream of toy boys over the past 20 years — and shows no signs of slowing down. Now the glamorous antiques dealer reveals some of her intimate adventures in her sensational book, The Toyboy Diaries. She talks exclusively to Woman’s Day about why young men are more fun.
Wendy, how many young chaps have you seduced in the past two decades?
At least as many as have seduced me! I’ve met young men in the local café, at gigs, there was even a strapping young policeman who came to my door after I was mugged. I prefer not to be predatory, though some need a little encouragement.
Dating anyone right now?
Yes, two guys in their 30s. Until last week, there was a third one, but I dropped him!
What’s so great about a toy boy?
(Laughs) Isn’t it obvious? They have firm, fit bodies. And it’s a great ego boost for me — they’ve chosen me over a woman half my age. Nothing beats being intimate with a gorgeous young hunk. Men my age have generally let themselves go and while they may be great as friends, that’s all they’ll ever be. I like bedroom antics, not bedroom antiques!
And you get good feedback from your toyboys?
Oh yes. Some are quite awestruck! If I like them enough, they get the whole seduction experience: log fire, scented candles, music, champagne … and intelligent conversation. Not every young woman at the bar can provide that.
So what’s the downside to an affair with a toyboy?
Well, you have to be aware that these young men may not stick around for too long. They know they’re not going to reproduce with an older woman, so of course it won’t last forever. They’re there to enjoy the experience and go on their way all the better for it.
Ever been hurt after they leave?
Sure, I’m a woman and I think with my heart as well as my head! I often try to think like a man and not get emotionally involved, but no, of course I’ve been hurt.
But it’s worth the pain?
Absolutely. If you embark on anything risky, you need the support of friends and family to help pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong. Having said that, I wouldn’t have missed my toyboy adventures for the world!
Most of your liaisons are short-term, but you did have a seven-year relationship with a much younger man?
Yes, it was great while it lasted but heartbreaking when we split up. Although I sort of ended it, it was frightening being alone again at 56 and having to start over. Thankfully I began dating again after a period of ‘bereavement’!
And why did you write your tell-all book?
Because I believe my story can inspire other women … all the highs, all the lows, some funny, some tragic, plus I wanted to motivate older women to know that no matter their age, they can still be fabulous and sexy.
You make fun of yourself at times in the book?
Yes, I thought it was important to tell my adventures honestly. I got myself into some embarrassing situations but I tried to keep my sense of humour. Life is as exciting as you make it and the good times must outweigh the bad.
Did any of the men mentioned in your book get annoyed that you wrote about your romances with them?
Not that I know of. But when The Toyboy Diaries first came out, one guy I was seeing couldn’t handle it. He thought I’d made an error of judgment putting my private life in the public arena. He just wasn’t man enough to cope with it and dumped me.
What about if you go out with a man now and he’s seen your book?
If he doesn’t like it, that’s his problem. I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done. Sometimes a man will say, “Are you using me for research?” and I’ll answer: “Only if you’re good enough!” If he can’t handle it…bring on the next one!
Are you more confident now than when you were younger?
Very much so. In my early 40s, I was divorced for the second time and feeling pretty low. I went on a ski holiday with my daughter and ended up being seduced by a 19-year-old. That’s when my toyboy adventures began. I realized how much fun there was to be had out there.
What’s different about sex with a younger man?
Not having had it off with an older man, I can’t really compare! But young men have stamina, energy, a willingness to learn, and no need for Viagra! Plus they all look cute and tousled in the morning — it’s hard to look tousled when you have no hair.
What would your advice be to women of a certain age who are newly separated and wanting to get out there again?
First, start feeling good about yourself again. Work on self-esteem, body image, fitness, and buy some new clothes. Dress appropriately, no short skirts or tacky tops showing too much cleavage. Men like a bit of a mystery and like a woman to be a lady. If you feel confident, you send out a more positive energy. Perhaps go out with some close girlfriends just for a laugh, and see what comes up.
And where does she go?
Anywhere and everywhere. Do an evening course, expand a hobby, or join an online dating service. Each day is an opportunity to meet new people. At the weekend, if you’re alone, go to a gallery or museum — even if you’re lonely or miserable, that should lift your spirits. Maybe strike up a conversation about a painting or a piece of art. You just have to be brave, and the rewards can be fantastic. Put good energy out there and see what comes back.
At 61, you look terrific. Do you work hard at it?
Thanks, yes I do look after myself. I do yoga, walk a lot, and I watch what I eat. People often ask me if I’ve had plastic surgery and the answer is no. But having said that, I recently had a little facial filler injected for the first time.
Should women lie about their age?
I used to knock 10 years off but I don’t any more. People need re-educating that it’s not about numbers. It’s tempting for a woman to think, I’ll lower my age or nobody is going to approach me. That’s not true. I’m listed as 61 on the www.toyboywarehouse.com dating website and the reaction I get all the time is “Wow!” We have to remind the world that just because we’re a certain age, we’re not prepared to disappear into gardening, knitting and dying! This is a very important topic. It’s a pity the media are youth-obsessed.
What’s your motto?
“A man should be an accessory in your life — not your entire wardrobe.” And don’t neglect your career, family and friends for the sake of a man. Keep your independence.
Will you still be dating toyboys in 20 years time?
(Chuckles) Why not? I’m not looking too far ahead. I’m just enjoying each day. Writing this book has changed my life. I’ve had so much good feedback. Women are telling me I’m an inspiration. And this gives me great joy.
How do you go about seducing them?
I think it’s pretty obvious if there’s a spark there, from the first eye contact. Chemistry is easy to pick up on; after that, body language takes over. If I see a guy I like, say, in a wine bar and I know he has noticed me, I’ll give a subtle smile — just a flash of interest in his direction. If I’ve been formally introduced, an extra squeeze of the hand will do the trick. Touching someone’s arm during conversation to stress a point is another way. And laughing at their jokes, even if they’re not that funny. I like a long, slow foreplay and I’d never kiss a man first. I like them to do the chasing until I catch them…
Would you ever ‘do it’ on the first date?
It has been known! With toyboys, you have to seize the moment — you may never see them again… Life is hard and fast today, and you have to take your opportunities for fun where and when you can. We could all be dead tomorrow!
The Toyboy Diaries, (Harper Collins) is out on December 1.
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