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The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society  by Mary Ann Shaffer

Exclusive extract fromThe Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Societyby Mary Ann Shaffer, the Great Read in the August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

From Juliet to Sidney

22 May 1946

There’s so much to tell you. I’ve been in Guersney only twenty hours, but each one has been so full of new faces and ideas that I’ve got reams to write. You see now conducive to writing island life is? Look at Victor Hugo – I may grow prolific if I stay here for any length of time.

The voyage from Weymouth was ghastly, with the mail boat groaning and creaking and threatening to break to pieces in the waves. I almost wished it would, to put me out of my misery, except that I wanted to see Gurnsey before I died. And as soon as we came in sight of the island, I gave up the notion altogether because the sun broke beneath the clouds and set the cliffs shimmering into silver.

As the mail boat lurched into the harbour, I saw St Peter Port rising up from the sea, with a church at the top like a cake decoration, and I realised that my heart was galloping. However much as I tried to persuade myself it was the thrill of the scenery, I knew better. All those people I’ve come to know and even love a little, waiting to see – me. And I, without any paper to hide behind. Sidney, in these past two or three years, I have become better at writing for a living – and think what you do to my writing. On the page, I am perfectly charming, but that’s just a trick I’ve learnt. It has nothing to do with me. At least that’s what I was thinking as the boat approached the pier. I had a cowardly impulse to throw my red cape overboard and pretend I was someone else.

I could see the faces of the people waiting – and there was no going back. I knew them by their letters. There was Isola in a mad hat and a purple shawl pinned with a glittering brooch. She was smiling fixedly in the wrong direction and I loved her instantly.

Next to her stood a man with a lined face, and at his side, a boy, all height and angles. Eben and his grandson Eli. I waved to Eli and he smiled like a beam of light and nudged his grandfather – and then I went shy and lost myself in the crowd that was pushing down the gangplank.

Isola reached me first by leaping over a crate of lobsters and pulled me up in a fierce hug that swung me off my feet. ‘Ah, lovely!’ she cried while I dangled. Wasn’t that sweet? All my nervousness was squeezed out of me along with my breath. The others came towards me more quietly, but with n less warmth. Eben shook my hand and smiled. You can tell me was broad and hardy once, but he is too thin now. He manages to look grave and friendly at the same time. How does he do that? I found myself wanting to impress. Eli swung Kit up on his shoulders, and they came forward together. Kit has chubby little legs – dark curls, big grey eyes – and she didn’t take to me at all. Eli’s jersey was speckled with wood shavings, and he had a present for me in his pocket – an adorable little mouse with crooked whiskers, carved from walnut. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and survived Kit’s malevolent glare. She has a very forbidding way about her for a four-year-old.

The Dawsey held out his hands. I had been expecting him to look like Charles Lamb, and he does, a little – he has the same steady gaze. He presented me with a bouquet of carnations from Booker, who couldn’t be present; he had concussed himself during rehearsal and was in hospital overnight for observation. Dawsey is dark and wiry, and his face has a quiet, watchful look about it – until he smiles. Except for a certain sister of yours, he was the sweetest smile I’ve ever, and I remember Amelia writing that he has a rare gift for persuasion – I can believe it. Like Eben – like everyone here – he is too thin. His hair is going grey, and he has deep-set brown eyes, so dark they look black. The lines around his eyes make him seem to be starting a smile even when he’s not. I don’t think he’s more than forty. He is only a little taller than I am and limps slightly, but he’s strong – he loaded all my luggage, me, Amelia and Kit into his cart with no trouble, I shook hands with him (I can’t remember if he said anything) and then he stepped aside for Amelia. She’s one of those women who are more beautiful at sixty than they could possibly have been at twenty (oh, how I hope someone says that about me one day!). Small, thin-face, lovely smile, grey hair in plaits wound round he head, she gripped my hand tightly and said, ‘Juliet, I am glad you are here at last. Let’s get your things and go home.’ It sounded wonderful, as though it really was my home.

As we stood there on the pier, some glint of light kept flashing in my eyes, and then around the dock. Isola snorted and said it was Adelaide Addison, at her window with her opera glasses, watching every move we made. Isola waved vigorously at the gleam and it stopped. While we were laughing about that, Dawsey was gathering up my luggage and ensnaring that Kit didn’t fall off the pier and generally making himself useful. I began to see that this is what he does – and that everyone depends on him to do it.

Off we went out into the countryside. There are rolling fields, but they end suddenly in cliffs, and all around is the moist salt small of the sea. As we drove, the sun set and the mist rose. You know how sounds become magnified by fog? Well, it was like that – even bird’s cry was weighty and symbolic. Clouds boiled up over the cliffs, and the fields were swathed in grey by the time we reached the manor house, but I saw ghostly shapes that I think were the cement bunkers built by the Todt workers.

Kat sat beside me in the cart and sent me many sideways glances. I was not so foolish as to try and talk to her, but I played my severed thumb trick – you know, the one that makes your thumb look as though it’s been sliced in two. I did it over and over again, casually, not looking at her, while she watched me like a baby hawk. She was intent and fascinated but not gullible enough to break into giggles. She just said at last, ‘Show me how you do that.’

She sat opposite me at supper and refused her spinach with a thrust-out arm, hand straight like a policeman. ‘Not for me,’ she said, and I, for one, couldn’t disobey her. She pulled her chair close to Dawsey’s and ate with one elbow planted firmly on his arm, pinning him in his place. He didn’t seem to mind, even if it did make cutting his chicken difficult, and when supper was over, she climbed on to his lap. It is obviously her rightful throne, and though Dawsey seemed to be listening to the conversation, I spied him poking out a napkin-rabbit while we talked about food shortages during the Occupation. Did you know that the Islanders ground bird-seed for flour until they ran out of it?

I must have passed some test I didn’t know I was being given, because Kit asked me to tuck her up in bed. She wanted to hear a story about a ferret. She liked vermin. Did I? Would I kiss a rat on the lips? I said, ‘Never’ and that seemed to win her over – I was plainly a coward, but not a hypocrite. I told her the story and she presented her cheek an infinitesimal quarter of an inch to be kissed. What a long letter – and it only contains the first four hours of the twenty. You’ll have to wait for the other sixteen.

Love,

Juliet.

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The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Exclusive extract from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, the Great Read in the August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society  by Mary Ann Shaffer

Exclusive extract from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, the Great Read in the August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

From Juliet to Sidney

22 May 1946

There’s so much to tell you. I’ve been in Guersney only twenty hours, but each one has been so full of new faces and ideas that I’ve got reams to write. You see now conducive to writing island life is? Look at Victor Hugo – I may grow prolific if I stay here for any length of time.

The voyage from Weymouth was ghastly, with the mail boat groaning and creaking and threatening to break to pieces in the waves. I almost wished it would, to put me out of my misery, except that I wanted to see Gurnsey before I died. And as soon as we came in sight of the island, I gave up the notion altogether because the sun broke beneath the clouds and set the cliffs shimmering into silver.

As the mail boat lurched into the harbour, I saw St Peter Port rising up from the sea, with a church at the top like a cake decoration, and I realised that my heart was galloping. However much as I tried to persuade myself it was the thrill of the scenery, I knew better. All those people I’ve come to know and even love a little, waiting to see – me. And I, without any paper to hide behind. Sidney, in these past two or three years, I have become better at writing for a living – and think what you do to my writing. On the page, I am perfectly charming, but that’s just a trick I’ve learnt. It has nothing to do with me. At least that’s what I was thinking as the boat approached the pier. I had a cowardly impulse to throw my red cape overboard and pretend I was someone else.

I could see the faces of the people waiting – and there was no going back. I knew them by their letters. There was Isola in a mad hat and a purple shawl pinned with a glittering brooch. She was smiling fixedly in the wrong direction and I loved her instantly.

Next to her stood a man with a lined face, and at his side, a boy, all height and angles. Eben and his grandson Eli. I waved to Eli and he smiled like a beam of light and nudged his grandfather – and then I went shy and lost myself in the crowd that was pushing down the gangplank.

Isola reached me first by leaping over a crate of lobsters and pulled me up in a fierce hug that swung me off my feet. ‘Ah, lovely!’ she cried while I dangled. Wasn’t that sweet? All my nervousness was squeezed out of me along with my breath. The others came towards me more quietly, but with n less warmth. Eben shook my hand and smiled. You can tell me was broad and hardy once, but he is too thin now. He manages to look grave and friendly at the same time. How does he do that? I found myself wanting to impress. Eli swung Kit up on his shoulders, and they came forward together. Kit has chubby little legs – dark curls, big grey eyes – and she didn’t take to me at all. Eli’s jersey was speckled with wood shavings, and he had a present for me in his pocket – an adorable little mouse with crooked whiskers, carved from walnut. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and survived Kit’s malevolent glare. She has a very forbidding way about her for a four-year-old.

The Dawsey held out his hands. I had been expecting him to look like Charles Lamb, and he does, a little – he has the same steady gaze. He presented me with a bouquet of carnations from Booker, who couldn’t be present; he had concussed himself during rehearsal and was in hospital overnight for observation. Dawsey is dark and wiry, and his face has a quiet, watchful look about it – until he smiles. Except for a certain sister of yours, he was the sweetest smile I’ve ever, and I remember Amelia writing that he has a rare gift for persuasion – I can believe it. Like Eben – like everyone here – he is too thin. His hair is going grey, and he has deep-set brown eyes, so dark they look black. The lines around his eyes make him seem to be starting a smile even when he’s not. I don’t think he’s more than forty. He is only a little taller than I am and limps slightly, but he’s strong – he loaded all my luggage, me, Amelia and Kit into his cart with no trouble, I shook hands with him (I can’t remember if he said anything) and then he stepped aside for Amelia. She’s one of those women who are more beautiful at sixty than they could possibly have been at twenty (oh, how I hope someone says that about me one day!). Small, thin-face, lovely smile, grey hair in plaits wound round he head, she gripped my hand tightly and said, ‘Juliet, I am glad you are here at last. Let’s get your things and go home.’ It sounded wonderful, as though it really was my home.

As we stood there on the pier, some glint of light kept flashing in my eyes, and then around the dock. Isola snorted and said it was Adelaide Addison, at her window with her opera glasses, watching every move we made. Isola waved vigorously at the gleam and it stopped. While we were laughing about that, Dawsey was gathering up my luggage and ensnaring that Kit didn’t fall off the pier and generally making himself useful. I began to see that this is what he does – and that everyone depends on him to do it.

Off we went out into the countryside. There are rolling fields, but they end suddenly in cliffs, and all around is the moist salt small of the sea. As we drove, the sun set and the mist rose. You know how sounds become magnified by fog? Well, it was like that – even bird’s cry was weighty and symbolic. Clouds boiled up over the cliffs, and the fields were swathed in grey by the time we reached the manor house, but I saw ghostly shapes that I think were the cement bunkers built by the Todt workers.

Kat sat beside me in the cart and sent me many sideways glances. I was not so foolish as to try and talk to her, but I played my severed thumb trick – you know, the one that makes your thumb look as though it’s been sliced in two. I did it over and over again, casually, not looking at her, while she watched me like a baby hawk. She was intent and fascinated but not gullible enough to break into giggles. She just said at last, ‘Show me how you do that.’

She sat opposite me at supper and refused her spinach with a thrust-out arm, hand straight like a policeman. ‘Not for me,’ she said, and I, for one, couldn’t disobey her. She pulled her chair close to Dawsey’s and ate with one elbow planted firmly on his arm, pinning him in his place. He didn’t seem to mind, even if it did make cutting his chicken difficult, and when supper was over, she climbed on to his lap. It is obviously her rightful throne, and though Dawsey seemed to be listening to the conversation, I spied him poking out a napkin-rabbit while we talked about food shortages during the Occupation. Did you know that the Islanders ground bird-seed for flour until they ran out of it?

I must have passed some test I didn’t know I was being given, because Kit asked me to tuck her up in bed. She wanted to hear a story about a ferret. She liked vermin. Did I? Would I kiss a rat on the lips? I said, ‘Never’ and that seemed to win her over – I was plainly a coward, but not a hypocrite. I told her the story and she presented her cheek an infinitesimal quarter of an inch to be kissed. What a long letter – and it only contains the first four hours of the twenty. You’ll have to wait for the other sixteen.

Love, Juliet.

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The X factor

David Duchovny is back in the big time as a sleazy, jaded sex addict in the hit TV comedy drama Californication, but is television’s new pin-up really acting? Chrissy Iley reports.

Take a look at David throughout his career

David Duchovny was Agent Fox Mulder for nine series of The X-Files. He was defined as a character who thought much, said little and was possibly asexual. He was not driven by passion or emotion.

Bored and frustrated with the constraints of a long-term TV series, David wanted something else — not necessarily something more, but something different. For the past five years, he has concentrated on writing, directing and acting in independent movies. He was developing a comedic side, but was seen by few. He has to work at achieving lightness, but he’s good at working hard. He attended America’s prestigious Princeton University, then won a scholarship to do a Masters degree in English Literature at the equally prestigious Yale. His thesis was on magic and technology. His first acting job was in a television commercial for Löwenbräu beer, in which he was supposed to look smouldering.

Five years in obscurity was very much David’s own personal journey. He has always said that because of his immense education, he had a brain the size of a house and a heart the size of a pea. Balancing that out has been a life’s work, which has finally come to fruition.

Perhaps he needed to be away that long to make the emotional impact he does as Hank Moody in the TV comedy drama series Californication, a writer with writer’s block, a man who loves women, but who is mostly in love with his ex-girlfriend. He spends a lot of time with his clothes off in sexual disillusionment. He’s tortured, funny and a bad boy — utterly appealing. And not just to women. He is also a gay icon.

Californication is to this decade what the New York babes of Sex and the City were to the last. It poses the right questions. It’s of the zeitgeist. Makes you laugh, makes you cry.

It would all be very neat if that was it. This is the new, sexualised David Duchovny, finally laying Mulder to rest. Yet, bizarrely, after being desperate to leave the TV series and in a love-hate, but mostly indifferent, relationship with co-star Gillian Anderson, who played Dana Scully, he’s about to appear in the soon-to-be-released The X-Files: I Want To Believe, the second X-Files movie.

Things have gone full circle for David, though, from nowhere to everywhere.

Take a look at David throughout his career

Which of David’s characters do you prefer, Fox Mulder or Hank Moody? Tell us below.

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Princess Mary arrives back in Australia

Photo by Austral

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark has this week returned to her native Tasmania to holiday with her children, two-year-old Prince Christian and 15-month-old Princess Isabella.

It’s the first trip home in two years for Princess Mary, and the first time in Australia for young Princess Isabella, who was born in April 2007. The visit is a clear indication that home and family remains as important as ever to the European royal, since marrying Crown Prince Frederik in a lavish ceremony in Denmark in 2004.

The Prince is currently in Beijing enjoying being a spectator of the Olympic Games. Coincidentally, it was at the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games that Mary met the heir to one of Europe’s oldest monarchies over drinks, where he was with the Danish sailing team.

He is expected to arrive in Hobart around August 26.

Mary and Fred— a love story

In this edited extract from the Danish best-seller, Frederik – Crown Prince of Denmark, the heir to the Danish throne reveals how Mary Donaldson captured his heart during a chance encounter at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 and of their joyous journey together.

Take a look at Mary and Fred’s wedding along with other famous royal weddings here

Three days and nights with no mobile coverage. Seventy-two hours without hearing Mary’s voice. Frederik is longing. Never before in his life has the Crown Prince felt the same urge to share his thoughts and experiences with another person. Now he wants to share everything with Mary, a person he hasn’t even known for seven weeks.

In the tropical climate of Cape York, the Crown Prince spends some days together with his friend, Jeppe Handwerk, in the unspoiled wilderness. It is early November 2000.

Looking out onto the Torres Strait towards Papua New Guinea, Frederik and Jeppe feed the sharks with wild turkeys they have trapped in snares. Here, Frederik senses the fine line between life and death as the sharks devour their prey within seconds. Taking care on the remote outcrop, they make their way slowly back to camp, the saltwater crocodiles occasionally thrashing in the mangroves. It is a hair-raising experience — this is a harsh, unapproachable, utterly wild paradise. Frederik, with Mary in his thoughts, is looking forward to sharing all these experiences with her.

Having turned the jeep around after a couple of days to head through the rainforest towards Cooktown, Frederik switches on his mobile several times in the hope of finding coverage. Eventually, after many gruelling hours behind the wheel, he is through to Mary and able to tell her of sea turtles, sharks and crocodiles. And to tell her he misses her. Frederik is in love. He promises that the couple will be reunited in just two days and that he will remain in Sydney for a week, before returning home to Denmark. No sooner has he concluded their conversation than his mobile rings. He recognises Queen Margrethe’s number.

Take a look at Mary and Fred’s wedding along with other famous royal weddings here

Tell us your thoughts below.

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Olivia’s secret wedding

Photo by Gregg Woodward

A mystical marriage in Peru and an official ceremony in Florida. Olivia Newton-John and John Easterling met 15 years ago — but it was only last year, on a trip to Peru, that they fell in love. Now, the couple has secretly married on a mountain top, writes Sharon Krum.

“We had been together not even a week and John was telling me he sat there every year and made his resolutions,” remembers Olivia. “He was talking about his plans and I said, ‘Can I be part of those plans?’ And we started talking about life together. It felt right.”

One year later, on June 21, telling not a soul, Olivia, 59, wearing a traditional matrimonial alpaca shawl, and John, 56, returned to the mountain top to marry at sunrise in a traditional Quechuan (the way of the Inca) ceremony. “It was the winter solstice,” says John. “There was frost on the ground, a bright sun was coming out, it was a beautiful ceremony.”

Yet it wouldn’t be the only one. Nine days later, they secretly married again in Florida, where John lives, making their union legal in the US. “It was really lovely,”says Olivia of the sunrise beach ceremony. “I’m wondering why everyone doesn’t do two,” she says, smiling. As in Peru, they exchanged rings ¡ Olivia and John had designed a platinum band with two intersecting uncut diamonds.

Send Olivia and John your congratulations below…

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Bali survivor Ben: ‘I danced my wedding waltz with no legs thanks to Paul Mercurio’

By Julie Hayne

Pictures: Paul Broben and Ben Rothstein.

He lost his legs in the Bali bombings, but Ben Tullipan was determined to dance with his new bride — with a little help from a famous friend.

Ben Tullipan could be excused for not feeling he has much to celebrate. As our worst-injured survivor of the 2002 Bali bombings, he suffered shocking burns and lost both legs and partial hearing in the attack.

But as he spun his childhood sweetheart Kerrie-Anne Lawson around the dance floor at their June 29 wedding on the Gold Coast, the beaming father-of-one was as far as he possibly could be from playing the victim.

Thanks to his trademark good humour — and six weeks of dance lessons from actor and Dancing With The Stars judge Paul Mercurio — Ben’s inspirational waltz was a lesson in how human spirit can overcome almost any obstacle.

When Paul first heard about Ben, he wasn’t sure just how he would be able to get the 33-year-old onto the dance floor.

“I got a call a few months ago asking if I would be available to teach Ben to dance for his wedding,” Paul explains.

“I had never met him and didn’t know much about him other than he’d lost his legs. I didn’t know what to expect but thought, ‘OK, if he’s up for the challenge, so am I.’…”

Thanks to Belinda Wright of BWP Studios, Southport and Carindale, 1800 552 728, www.bwphoto.com.au

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale July 21).

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Fergie’s wedding shock

After secretly dating for months, the former royal is set to wed her new man.

Speculation is rife that the former Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, is set to head down the aisle with her secret boyfriend Geir Frantzen — after shedding the engagement ring ex-husband Prince Andrew gave her.

Sarah, 48, has maintained that she and the Findus frozen foods tycoon are just “very good friends”, but those close to the couple confirm they’ve been dating for the past year.

Having studiously hidden their relationship, the couple finally publicly acknowledged their love at the British Grand Prix last weekend.

According to the UK’s Daily Mail newspaper, the affectionate and newly indiscreet pair “could be seen hooting with laughter”, and were no longer keen to keep their love out of the public eye.

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale July 21).

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Angelina Jolie’s spiritual birth

Ange feels the presence of her late mother in the room as her twins are delivered.

The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s twins Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline was a truly spiritual experience — with the actress convinced that her late mother helped her through the delivery.

The healthy babies, a boy and a girl, were born on July 13 via an emergency caesarean. They were due two weeks later, but doctors discovered the little boy was in the breech position, and that Angelina’s blood pressure was alarmingly high.

“We decided Saturday morning to advance the date of the childbirth [by] 10 days,” Ange’s obstetrician Dr Michel Sussman confirmed.

But what could have been a frightening moment became truly a joyful one, with Angelina insisting that her late mother, Marcheline Bertrand, was in the room, helping her.

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale July 21).

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Jaclyn Smith’s a genius

By Angela Mollard

She wasn’t hired as the “smart” one or the “sexy” one — but former Charlie’s Angel Jaclyn Smith was the longest serving of all the girls.

Now, 27 years after the hit 1970s series ended its five-year run, Jaclyn, 62, is back as host of her own reality show, Shear Genius. She tells Woman’s Day about it, her life as an Angel and the Angels’ battles with cancer.

**You’ve juggled your television and film career with raising two children who are now in their 20s. Do you ever regret turning roles down, including the opportunity to be a Bond girl alongside Roger Moore?

** No, a contract is a contract and I couldn’t get out of my contract with Aaron Spelling to do the Bond film. I understood that because if everyone wanted to get out of it there would have been no Charlie’s Angels. Later, my children were always the priority. I wasn’t going to miss the moments with them and if that meant turning down a movie, I did. I have no regrets. I never missed a moment with my kids — I wanted to see every recital, every sports event. I’m not one to say, “Why didn’t I do this or that’. It breeds unhappiness and I’ve been so lucky in life.

**Do you get together often with the other Charlie’s Angels?

** Yeah, we see each other a lot. We have girls’ lunches, dinner, touch base.

**Has your view on life changed since you underwent treatment for breast cancer in 2002?

** Yes, you become very aware that things can change in a minute. I was very fortunate that I had early detection and now I make trips across the US to inform women of breast cancer risk factors. I now exercise more and eat very healthily with no hormones, preservatives or antibiotics. I grab the moment and I’ve become more spiritually aware.

**You are credited with pioneering the idea of a celebrity label since signing up with Kmart 22 years ago. Is it funny seeing so many other celebrities now turning themselves into a brand?

** It was a way for me to give back and to be involved in a creative and artistic process which I love. The clothes have got better and better and millions of women are wearing them. Now I’ve got a line of upholstery, rugs, bedding, and art reproductions so it’s been really exciting. Today everybody has got a brand so I’m proud that I did it 22 years ago.

**When you visited Australia in 2004 you said you’d never had plastic surgery but you wouldn’t rule it out. Has your view changed?

** Yes, I would do it but I haven’t yet. I think surgery is a little scary but whatever makes a person happy is right for them. You have to be careful though because there’s too many people who take it to a scary place. I don’t like a marble face that looks like everything is pulled. Also, skincare can make a world of difference. I don’t drink or smoke and I’ve never touched a drug — all those things are as important as plastic surgery.

**You’ve been married to your fourth husband, heart surgeon Brad Allen, for 11 years. Does it feel like you’ve got it right this time?

** It’s great, I got lucky now and we have a great life together. We’ve lived apart for a while because he was in Chicago then Houston but now we’re together under the one roof. He’s a genuinely pure soul and he’s so enthusiastic, like a boy.

Shear Genius screens Fridays at 9.30pm on Arena.

For more of this interview, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale July 21).

Your say:

Have your say below…

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Ian Thorpe: Fame, love and life in the fast lane

By Leigh Reinhold

Pictures: Ross Coffey

Olympic legend Ian Thorpe opens up on retirement, finding love and his first Olympics on the sidelines.

Ian Thorpe will be forever remembered as Australia’s greatest Olympian. His unrivalled medal tally, world records and stunning performances in the pool gripped the world for years.

Far from retired since his decision to say goodbye to professional swimming, Ian, 25, has turned his attention to helping educate people about the environment and our country’s great history of swimming. To celebrate his History Channel show The Spirit of Australian Sport: Swimming, a relaxed and loved-up Ian sits down with Woman’s Day and ponders all aspects of his life, in and outside the pool.

We didn’t know the “Australian Crawl” was invented by an South Pacific Islander and isn’t Aussie after all?

Yeah. Everyone just presumes it’s ours. It’s almost like one of those Russell Crowe things — where sometimes we claim him and sometimes we don’t.

Why do you think we have produced so many champs?

I think we produced great swimmers because geographically we are surrounded by water, and that much of the population lives on the coast and wanting to be by the coast. And we are an athletic nation to start with because we’re good at sport. I think those three elements combined allowed us to produce our first champions, and that was with no formal training but natural ability. Then we had some pioneers who helped along the way for the next generation of swimmers coming through, people like [swimming coach] Forbes Carlisle especially. He’s a pioneer and isn’t recognised enough. He helped put science into swimming, and now that has developed even further. We have arguably the best testing of athletes and that’s accessible to all of our athletes.

If a swimmer did in Beijing what Dawn Fraser did in Tokyo during the 1964 Olympics, when she stole the Japanese flag, what would happen to them?

I think the headline would be “They’ve Done A Dawny”. That story is part of our folklore now. Basically, the police in Japan gave the flag back to her with a bunch of flowers.

Who first showed you how to swim?

I think my mum was the first one who put me in a pool. I would have been little, two or something. I remember having early lessons so I wouldn’t drown, but then I went off surfing and wasn’t near a pool again until I was about eight. I had my first proper lesson when I was eight.

You said in the documentary The Spirit of Australian Sport — Swimming on The History Channel that Craig Stevens’ decision to give up his spot in the Athens Olympic 400m so you could swim was life-changing for you. Can you define that?

What had happened during that time was my realisation of how much baggage I had taken on over years of competing. It all culminated in that one particular moment. Once Craig gave over his position, then I had to try and work through that in the lead-up to the Olympics, having not dealt with it completely and then being expected to win the race. It was just expected that I would win — like that’s an easy thing to do! Regardless of the fact I had started training for other events, I wasn’t as confident as I had been going into the competition. So In the back of my mind it was all those years of expectations really bubbling up to the surface.

It must have been a major relief touching first?

Before I even touched, I was just so furious with myself. It was the worst I had ever swum in my life, and I was annoyed that I had let all this emotion cloud me. It was the only time I had swum with emotion. It’s not the right way to produce a result for me. When I touched the wall I was relieved and I could get on with the rest of the competition. Until that race was over I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I wouldn’t change that now — I am glad I did swim it with great emotion not the way I normally would to get the best performance.

You’ve said our medal tally in Beijing will fall somewhere between Sydney in 2000 and Athens in 2004. Who will be our biggest rivals in the pool?

The US. The Japanese and German teams will be reasonable, and the Dutch usually throw something out there, and the French and Italians. And I’m betting the Chinese have a few tricks up their sleeves we haven’t seen yet.

Isn’t there a Korean named Park Tae-hwan who claims he’s going to smash your 400m record?

I haven’t heard that about him, but I have heard the Koreans are talking him up.

How do you think Grant Hackett will go against him?

I’d say that if Grant’s anywhere near his best in both the 400m and 1500m then he should be fine.

He’s going to extreme measures. Did you read the piece where he’s wearing oxygen masks on flights and not touching door handles?

No, he’s using a humidifier. I did that too. But I didn’t worry about touching doorknobs. I think germs are good for you.

What about the US swimmer Michael Phelps thanking you for firing him up by saying he couldn’t win as many gold medals as he thinks he can?

Yeah, I find it a little odd, but I am glad to be a motivator for him. I have said that I don’t think anyone will win eight gold — but I still think that if there’s anyone on the planet that’s capable of it right now, then it is him. I wish him all the best for that. We’re mates. Not close, it’s not like there’s a rivalry or anything. I’m just giving my opinion. If everything goes right for him then that’s great for him.

Do you think doping will be a concern at the Olympics? What can officials do about this problem?

I think it should be an important question at all Olympics, and I think it’s better to discuss it than to not discuss it. And making sure that people are aware that sport isn’t 100 per cent clean and we have to keep putting the most pressure possible on all governing bodies to work together, so that when someone does an incredible performance we don’t all say, “Were they taking drugs?” Sport loses its lustre if that happens, and that’s detrimental to every little kid who looks up to the athletes.

How do you think you’d go if the team was suddenly down a man in the relay and they threw you a swimsuit?

No, it wouldn’t happen! I’m not allowed to swim. It’s not even an option.

How do you think you’d go if you were allowed?

Oh, I think there’d be better swimmers on the team! Absolutely! I’m a bit out of practice for a relay spot.

That 100m relay in the Sydney 2000 Olympics was a wonderful swim. Is that one of your highlights?

It is one my highlights, not only because I swam well but what was happening around it. I think that the people in Australia thought we all had a chance — it was beautifully frustrating that people had so much hope in that relay team when really we didn’t stand a chance. But it was right for the public to have faith because we won! It’s one of those things — I hadn’t been an underdog for a long time and Australia loves an underdog, and that was nice being back in that position.

Would you swim in the Masters down the track like Dawn Fraser is about to do?

I don’t know. I’d like the thought of competing again in swimming, just as long as no-one got to see it. But it just doesn’t work like that. Swimming for me has become really personal again. I get down to the pool and have a swim, and if I’m stressed out it gets rid of all that stress. And I feel in the pool now like I am a kid again, like when I was first starting. I had lost that throughout my career and I realised that was the most important part of swimming to me. And now I have that back, so I don’t want to jeopardise that.

Is it your meditation?

Yeah, it’s close to. I stick my head in that blue water and it’s a different world in there. It’s really calming and whatever’s happening in your life just floats away.

Have you hung out with any famous types in LA? Done any of your own star-spotting?

I do quite a lot of that. I don’t enjoy the fame part of LA. I have lived with fame for the most part of my life that I can remember and I mean it’s hilarious! Fame is one of the most stupid things. It makes no sense. But you live with it and deal with it and have a laugh about it, and sometimes you have a cry about it. Some days it’s wonderful and some days it’s terrible. And in LA I just catch up with friends and hang out.

You’ve got a lot of friends. You’re a well-liked person. Do you spend a lot of time building relationships and keeping them?

I have a reasonable amount of friends, but not a huge amount of friends. I know a lot of people. Swimming is a close-knit group and you carry those friends for the rest of your life. It’s similar to being a relative — you might not see each other for a while and then you just start back up exactly where you left off. Because you’ve shared so many things together.

Have you re-done your house at home in Sydney yet?

I haven’t done it yet! It’s just a timing issue. I haven’t been in Sydney much, and also the Olympics are now and I didn’t think I’d have so much on because of the Olympics. I thought I could cruise into winter after spending one last summer in my old house before pulling it down and building the dream. And of course I was thinking it would take 12 months to build a house, and they are saying it’s more like 18 months-2 years. I was shocked! It’s also one of those things that if you want the perfect house you have to wait for it.

The ultimate TV program if you could make it would be…?

The highest-rating, highest-selling show on the planet. I think it’s about making TV that is right for the now, something that gives the audience something they want.

Could you see yourself coaching one day?

No, I’ll coach individuals, but it takes a special person to be able to coach a squad. It’s a really big commitment because you get so involved with a group of people’s lives. You have to be a psychologist and on call 24/7. Your family has to understand your commitment to a group of people who aren’t your family, but are as close as family. It’s an enormous commitment. Too hard … and those early mornings!

The Spirit of Australian Sport— Swimming premieres Wednesday, July 30 at 8:30pm on The History Channel.

For more of this interview, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale July 21).

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