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In the mag – November 24, 2008

Issue on sale Monday November 17, 2008

Katie tells Tom: I’m not coming home

Katie feels so free in New York City, she doesn’t want to go back to her husband in LA…

Grant and Candice in NY: Retiring for love

After 24 years of competition, swimming legend Grant Hackett wants to devote more time to his wife…

Ange vs Jen: It’s war!

Jennifer Aniston breaks years of silence and hits out at Angelina Jolie about her hook-up with Brad Pitt…

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ age-defying diet

The Hollywood mum reveals how her body only gets better with age…

Lonely Mary’s sad week

Feeling more alone than ever, and facing new pressures from her royal in-laws, Princess Mary struggles to hide her down mood.

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Katie tells Tom: I’m not coming home

Katie feels so free in New York City, she doesn’t want to go back to her husband in LA.

Katie Holmes’ bite of the Big Apple tastes like freedom — and husband Tom Cruise isn’t happy about his wife’s new independent life on the other side of the US.

Instead of being excited about their two-year wedding anniversary on November 18, sources say the couple are bickering over Katie’s determination to stay in Manhattan, while Tom is demanding she return to their home in LA with two-year-old daughter Suri.

“Katie has fallen in love with New York again and wants to live there full-time,” a source tells Woman’s Day.

“Tom isn’t happy about that, because his whole life — work, family and Scientology — is in LA. He’s itching to get back!”

Katie, 29, is only appearing on Broadway in All My Sons until January, but it’s believed she wants to extend her NYC visit through 2009 and beyond.

“New York excites Katie,” says another source. “She enjoys the change in seasons, the theatre scene, Central Park, the cafes. She feels she’s treated with more respect there.”

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale November 17).

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Lonely Mary’s sad week

Feeling more alone than ever, and facing new pressures from her royal in-laws, Mary struggles to hide her down mood.

Princess Mary has faced one of her toughest weeks since becoming part of Denmark’s royal family. The mother-of-two was barely able to hide her emotions as she struggled to cope with a round of public engagements while her private life crumbled before her eyes.

Royal commentators tell Woman’s Day that the Tasmanian-born princess has appeared “sad and distant” in recent days as she carries out her royal duties in the midst of reports that her marriage to Fred is under new strain, and the announcement that her royal rival, Princess Marie, is expecting her first child.

Palace insiders say the 36-year-old is also feeling more isolated than ever, after 18-month-old Princess Isabella attended her first day of kindergarten last week, leaving Mary alone in what was once her fairytale castle.

As well, Mary has had to say goodbye to her father, John Donaldson, who has returned home to Australia, leaving Mary with no family other than her in-laws in which to confide.

“There is a space there,” royal author Trine Villeman tells Woman’s Day

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale November 17).

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Grant and Candice in NY: Retiring for love

By Jenny Brown

Pictures: Stuart Ramson

After 24 years of competition, the swimming legend wants to devote more time to his wife.

Somewhere between New York’s Fifth Avenue, the glitz of Vegas and the sunny Bahamas, Grant Hackett made a momentous, life-changing choice.

On a romantic second honeymoon with his pop singer wife Candice Alley, the Aussie swimming legend realised it was time to hang up his goggles and quit the sport he had loved for 24 years.

Diving into retirement wasn’t a snap decision; there were no sleepless nights of uncertainty, just quiet time chilling out with Candice in the wake of the Olympics.

“It was the first holiday when I didn’t have to do something related to swimming,” grins the good-humoured giant, whose 198cm (6 feet 6 inch) frame dominated the 1500m freestyle event for almost a decade.

“Even our original honeymoon was cut short — only four nights away — because I had to compete. Not much of a honeymoon!…”

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale November 17).

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Kinesiology

Photo: Getty Images

By Annette Campbell

Did you know that the healing art of kinesiology was actually devised by a chiropractor in the 1960s? There’s lots we didn’t know about this therapy, so we asked practising kinesiologist and teacher Sue Crosdale a few quick questions.

There are many different types of kinesiology, but generally-speaking, the client remains fully dressed (unless they want to take off their shoes) and can stand up or lie down.

Here’s an example of one muscle test (though there are lots of others). The practitioner asks the client to raise their arm a little and then presses down lightly on the wrist. If there’s no stress and all’s okay, the arm won’t move. If there is stress in the body and mind, the arm won’t be able to hold against that little bit of resistance.

There are then more than 100 corrections (for example, lightly holding specific points on your head, rubbing under the collar bones or tracing meridians) kinesiologists can perform to achieve whatever our goal is.

A lot of people come to see me about problems they’re having now that we can actually trace back to their childhood — such as one woman who was offered a promotion but was terrified of her new job because it would require public speaking.

She’d long forgotten the experience, but through our sessions she recalled performing in public as a child and being laughed at. Her brain and body held onto that humiliation until this day. We were able to relieve that memory from her childhood and that in turn gave her much more confidence.

For more info, visit the Australian Kinesiology Association’s website at www.akakinesiology.org.au or have a look at Sue’s website at www.cessnocknaturalbalancecentre.com.au.

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Grieving

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There are times in all our lives when we experience grief. We all feel it to different degrees, and some cope better than others. So what exactly is grief, and how can we best survive it? Melbourne-based psychologist Chris Hall is the Director of the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement and is an expert on the subject.

“Grief, quite simply, is our response to loss or change,” he explains. “Someone once described grief as the price we pay for love. And it’s true … if you don’t love, you won’t grieve.

“We make attachments and bonds to people, places and beliefs, and if that attachment is ruptured, it produces the pain of grief.”

Chris adds that while many people respond to grief with great resilience, approximately 10-15 percent of bereaved people will develop complications that may become disabling.

“These people will often benefit from assistance such as support groups and counselling,” he says. “The thing that often protects us most is the loving support of family and friends.”

  • the death of a child (even if the child is 45 and the parent is 75)

  • the death of a young child

  • a sudden or unexpected death

  • traumatic or violent causes of death, or when a body is not recovered

“After the initial shock, comes the period when you have to realise that the world is a different place now and you’re a different person — changed by this event.

“This can be a really difficult time, especially if you’re really having trouble with practical things like knowing how to pay bills … or even how to fill the car with petrol.

“Fundamentally we never recover. Feelings change over time — and your relationship to the deceased changes too — but the grief will always be there to a degree.”

“Men’s grief is less visible and far more private. They’re often focussed on their thoughts rather than feelings of loss. They might put their own grief ‘on hold’ to be the strong one and the shoulder to cry on for their partner.

“So guys are in a bind, because on the one hand they’re supposed to show and share their emotions; but they still feel they need to be ‘the rock’.”

  • you are experiencing grief that’s so disabling and intrusive that it’s preventing you from re-entering into life.

  • your sleep is disturbed — insomnia is a strong marker that someone’s struggling.

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What do you do if your Pap test result is abnormal?

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So you’ve had your regular two-yearly Pap test … but this time the result has come back as “abnormal”. What does this actually mean? We asked expert, Kate Broun, manager of PapScreen Victoria, to explain.

From July 2009, the vaccine is free for girls in year seven. For more information about Pap tests and cervical cancer please visit the PapScreen website at www.papscreen.org.au or call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20.

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Which ouch is which? Pains you shouldn’t ignore

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**As brave as we are, there are definitely different types of pain that we shouldn’t ignore.

“If you experience pain of any description — sharp, dull, constant or fluctuating — if it is unusual for you, you should go to a doctor,” explains Dr Sue Reddish, a GP at The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health in Melbourne.**

“For example, if you usually get migraines every month around your period, you would be reasonably sure that that’s what it is next time it happens.”

“But if you don’t usually suffer with migraines and suddenly develop a splitting headache, then you should be more inclined to have it checked out. And any pain that is interfering with your daily activities needs to be followed up.”

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While you were sleeping

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Sudanese model Akeer Chut-Deng.

Dreams are clues from your unconscious mind about what’s bothering you in the waking world. Check out these 16 symbols from slumberland.

1 Aeroplane This usually means two things: one, wanting the freedom to ‘fly solo’ towards a destination, and two, defying gravity and, by association, thumbing your nose at convention.

2 Animals If you dream about ants, it means you’re diligent. Owls represent a question that’s puzzling you, while snakes symbolise transformation (consider how a snake sheds its skin).

3 Car To understand your dream, see the car as a symbol of yourself and the trip as a metaphor for your life. Is the car shiny or dented? Were you alone? In an accident?

4 Climbing This represents the opportunity to grow, to rise to a different level in life, to conquer new challenges.

5 Dogs Dreaming of ‘man’s best friend’ means you’re in a situation where loyalty and/or friendship are important or threatened. Dog dreams also mean guidance and protection.

6 Egg A lucky omen, a symbol of rebirth: maybe you are ‘resurrecting’ yourself from an old relationship? Finding several eggs means extra money for a ‘nest egg’.

7 Fish Strongly associated with sex and/or wanting children, because their slippery nature is associated with sperm. Catching fish means success for a new project, though being swallowed by a fish means you are feeling helpless.

8 Flowers These generally mean love and friendship, although tearing petals off means destroying happiness and dying flowers indicate your feelings are hurt. Give yourself sunshine, food and water – and let your confidence grow.

9 Grave Don’t worry! In dreams, the earth symbolises creation. A grave means you need to let go of something to solve a problem, not that your life is in danger. Climbing out of a grave means a crisis is over.

10 Hair This usually signifies concerns about desirability and ageing. Hair that turns black means danger; silver signals abundance.

11 House Dream houses represent inner desires. The basement refers to your unconscious; ground level is your current reality and upper rooms deal with aspirations – your need to see things from a higher perspective.

12 Island This could mean you are seeking a refuge; or, that you feel trapped or isolated from others.

13 Storms You may be experiencing – or anticipating – a trauma. Or, it can mean that you are brooding over a problem, that there is something you want to express.

14 Swimming If you’re struggling in the dream, it may mean that your physical or mental survival is threatened. Are you having trouble ‘keeping your head above water’? Swimming dreams also mean adaptation to change.

15 Water In dreams, water always tells you something about your emotions. Gushing water might symbolise a fresh start; rivers or pools could mean different emotional ‘wavelengths’, yours or other peoples’.

16 Window Are you looking for an opportunity or breakthrough of some sort? A window can also mean that you want to escape from a situation.

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Dumping my girlfriend got her fired

I met June at a time when I was a young man who was trying to “sow his wild oats” as much as possible — which is to say, I didn’t think I wanted to settle down any time soon.

June worked in administration at a foreign embassy. While she was a shy sort of woman, I soon found she had a wicked sense of fun.

She and I went on a few dates, going to dinner and movies, and we shared a few passionate kisses, and passionate sex — including once in a busy shopping centre parking lot!

Around the same time, I met Lauren. Lauren made me feel like no women ever had before; she was funny, smart and, in a word, mesmerising. I soon found myself, against all my previous protestations, falling in love with her.

It became clear to me the only fair thing to do was tell June of my feelings for Lauren, and end our relationship.

When I first broke the news to June, she was very calm and even joked about it. Everything seemed fine. But the next, day she sent me several angry text messages saying I had been selfish and dishonest towards her.

For the next two weeks, I agonised over my behaviour. So I resolved to send June a note expressing my regret and to apologise. During our couple of months together June and I had never gone to her place, so I didn’t know her home address. All I knew was where she worked: the foreign embassy.

I bought a card with some flowers on the front and wrote a short message:

**Dear June,

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you, but wish you the very best for the future. You are a great person.

— Rob**

Three days later, June rang me sobbing. All she could say was, “Why did you send that card?”

I didn’t think my words were quite that moving, so I was a little bit baffled.

But then she continued: “My boss opened the card and read it. He said the embassy wasn’t my personal letter box and that I could pack up my things and leave.” Embassies are largely a law unto themselves, so there was nothing she could do. My card, meant to be a peace offering, had instead got June fired!

I listened in shock as she told me never to speak to her again and hung up. I recently found out she’s now working in real estate.

Lauren and I are still going strong — though I never told her about my fatal letter.

Names in this story have been changed. Picture: Getty Images.

Your say: Have your say about this true confession below…

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