Home Page 5429

I broke up my brother-in-law and his girlfriend

I had been dating my now-husband for nearly two years when I finally met his brother’s long term girlfriend. She lived in South Korea and we had always missed each other during her various trips to Australia. I was really looking forward to meeting her, thinking about how our children would probably grow up as cousins, and how we’d enjoy many shared Christmases and holidays together for years to come.

I walked in the door, stuck out my hand and smiled broadly, introducing myself. She paused, stared at the ceiling, and reluctantly proffered a limp hand, mumbling something that may have been ‘hi’ beneath her breath. I felt as though I’d been slapped across the face. What had I done to deserve such rudeness? I honestly had no idea.

Despite the fact that my husband’s mother had cooked up an amazing meal to celebrate the day we had all finally met, Sara behaved like a spoilt child the entire day. She refused to speak to us, ignoring our questions and rolling her eyes at our conversation. At the same time, she chatted happily with my husband’s parents, so we knew that we were clearly the ones at whom her behaviour was aimed. Eventually, she disappeared off into the upstairs bedrooms and didn’t return.

We were baffled. My husband, who had always gotten on well with her, couldn’t understand it. I was personally devastated as I had always gotten along well with my brother-in-law and really wanted to have a good relationship with the woman who was likely to become his wife.

The week that followed was stressful and upsetting as we tried to speak with my brother-in-law and Sara about why she had been so rude. Eventually, we discovered that it was all based in jealousy about our engagement and upcoming wedding. As Sara had been dating my brother-in-law for almost seven years, she felt that the occasion should have been hers.

Our attempts to resolve the situation were fruitless, culminating in an email from Sara that abused me and my husband personally, while making threats that she would ‘take us down’. I simply couldn’t understand how a grown woman could behave like such a spoilt, childish teenager.

Our wedding was a few short weeks later. To our relief, she didn’t come as she was back in South Korea. Instead, my husband and I plotted to get rid of her. I had six single, attractive and fun friends coming along, so I told them all about the situation and how lovely my brother-in-law was but how horrible his girlfriend was, and asked them if they’d consider paying him some ‘extra’ attention. We then all took the opportunity throughout the day to ply him with copious amounts of champagne, to the extent that he could barely manage to deliver his best man’s speech.

One short email with attachments in reply to the one she sent us was all it took, and the relationship was over. Three months down the track, my brother-in-law isn’t speaking to us, and while I do feel bad for causing him pain, I honestly believe that he would have been miserable with her for the rest of his life. Most amazingly, my husbands’ parents supported us in what we had done. We could all see that he’s a great guy, and she’s a psycho. Hopefully one day he’ll forgive us, and will see we meant only for the best.

Names have been changed. Picture posed by models.

Your say: Have your say about this true confession below…

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Shocking evidence in Anna Nicole’s death

Two-and-a-half years after Anna Nicole Smith‘s death, unsealed affidavits allege her psychiatrist prescribed a quantity of drugs amounting to what one pharmacist called “pharmaceutical suicide”, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Unsealed this week in Los Angeles, court documents allege that Anna Nicole’s psychiatrist faxed a prescription to a pharmacy for a range of different drugs for the former Playboy Playmate. The prescription included an anti-inflammatory drug, two different types of sedatives and a muscle relaxer, as well as four bottles of a painkiller referred to as “hospital heroin” and 300 tablets of methadone.

The pharmacist who refused to fill the prescription later described it as “pharmaceutical suicide”, an affidavit states.

Court documents say the drugs were prescribed by Anna Nicole’s psychiatrist, Dr Khristine Eroshevich, and internist Dr Sandeep Kapoor, following the death of Anna Nicole’s son, Daniel, and the birth of her daughter, Dannielynn.

Anna Nicole’s sister, Donna Hogan, said in a statement in 2007 that the death of Anna Nicole’s son, Daniel, “left [Anna Nicole] deeply saddened, a sadness she hid from everyone”.

Less than five months after Daniel’s death in the Bahamas, Anna Nicole died of a prescription drug overdose. At the time of her death she reportedly had prescriptions for 44 different medications under at least nine aliases.

One affidavit states that Dr Eroshevich also tried to obtain chloral hydrate for Anna Nicole after Daniel’s death and the drug was described by the pharmacist as an out-of-date insomnia treatment. “I wouldn’t give her chloral hydrate unless you want your picture on the front page of the National Enquirer,” the pharmacist reportedly told Dr Eroshevich.

Dr Eroshevich was allegedly later told by retired toxicologist Dr Greg Thompson that chloral hydrate “might work for a drug addict under supervised care or with a dying cancer patient in a hospital or ‘if you were going to kill someone’,” California Department of Justice special agent, Jennifer Doss, wrote in an affidavit.

Court documents also allege there were photographs of Dr Eroshevich and video footage of Dr Kapoor engaging in sexual behaviour with Anna Nicole. Both doctors deny any inappropriate conduct.

While a Florida medical examiner found Anna Nicole’s death was accidental, in March 2009 Dr Eroshevich, Dr Kapoor and Howard K Stern, Anna Nicole’s boyfriend at the time, were all charged with supplying addictive prescription drugs to the reality TV star.

All three have pleaded not guilty to conspiring to “commit the crimes of prescribing, administering and dispensing controlled substances to an addict” and “unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance”, the Los Angeles Times reported in March 2009. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for next month.

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Spring clean your finances

Say hello to the new you. Give your personal finances a healthy money makeover by following this step by step guide.
woman with calculator, Getty Images

1. Take stock

Look at where you are at now. What assets do you own? What debts do you have? Is there more income than expenses left at the end of each month?

2. Focus on dreams

Think about what you’d do if money was no issue. How would you live? Now think again: what if you found out you’d only live for one more year. You will suffer no pain but, after a year, that’s it! What would you like now? Ideally, what would be really important to you? Try to visualise yourself in the ideal way you’d like to be now. From here, write down what your new goals are.

3. Cost the important goals

How much do you need to pay for the things that are really important to you now? You might need less than you think. It could be that you’re not that far from doing what you want now — many goals aren’t that expensive or they may cost nothing at all. Put the goals in rank order, with the most important thing.

4. Brainstorm

Brainstorm the actions you can use to get you from your current position to achieve your goals. An action might be to make a phone call, research on the Internet or visit a friend or colleague.

5. Timeline

Now that you know the goals most important to you and the possible ways of reaching them, plan a timeline of the most effective ways to execute your brainstorming ideas from step four. From the timeline, put your actions into your diary at a specific time and date.

Your say: What steps will you take to spring clean your finances? Do you have any tips? Email us on [email protected]

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Ashleigh: I dropped out of high school for *Idol*

By Jackie Brygel

She may have been the first of the top 12 to be eliminated from Australian Idol, but talented 18-year-old singer Ashleigh Toole promises we certainly haven’t seen the last of her.

How are you feeling? You must be more than a little disappointed.

Yes, I definitely am very upset, but these things happen and I just have to get back up on the horse and keep going.

All of the judges hailed you as the one to watch. Did their feedback make it even more of a shock when your name was called?

It was hard. I just thought ‘I really wanted to be there a bit longer’. But it goes to show that anything can happen and if you do get positive comments from the judges, that doesn’t mean that people at home are going to enjoy it. You just have to be ready for anything.

You seem to have such a mature attitude for someone who’s only 18…

Well, it’s not easy and sometimes it has become a bit too much. We’re only human and sometimes you just have to let go and have a cry. I think when you get this close to your dream and then it gets ripped out from underneath you, it is hard – not that you’re not still going to get there.

Are you still at school?

I was, but I actually dropped out last week just as I got into the top 12. I was supposed to be doing my HSC.

Will you return to school now?

I really believe that I’ve had a great opportunity to get out there on television and get some exposure, so I’m going to try and use it as best I can. If I have to go and start doing gigs and getting known again, then that’s what I’m going to do. I think it’s really important for me to focus on that. Education is important, but it’s always there, whereas something like this only comes once, so you have to run with it.

When the competition kicked off, you were quoted as saying you were the only one deep down who really wanted this. Do you stand by those words?

I think I feel that I’ve always been so determined and I’ve never wanted to put one foot wrong. I wanted it so much that I would really do everything I could to get there. I want to be professional and taken seriously and not waste people’s time. That’s what I felt – that I wouldn’t let anything jeopardise my chances of living my dream. But I never wanted to come across as big-headed or thinking I’m better than anyone else, because that’s not the case at all.

There’s a special guy in your life. Tell us about him.

His name’s Marcus. He came to all the shows and he’s been really supportive and this week he was going to Japan for a holiday. He didn’t really want to go, but I said ‘No, no, you go, you go’. He didn’t know when I got voted off and he actually looked it up on Google a few hours later, and he was trying to get in contact with me. I ended up getting a phone call from someone that had got in contact with him and he said to tell them that he loves me.

Was Marcus at school with you?

No, he’s a bit older than me. I met him through part-time work. He’s 24.

It sounds quite serious?

It’s only been about two months, but we’ve known each for about five or six months. I’m very lucky to have him.

How will you remember your Australian Idol experience?

My Idol experience was probably one of the most amazing and challenging experiences I think I’ll ever come across. It really did change my life – I’ve come out a different person.

What are your plans now?

First of all, to get a bit of sleep! I want to look back on my performances and see what I can improve on. I want to hear the feedback and write down my goals of where I want to be.

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Jude Law’s love child arrives

Jude Law has become a father for the fourth time after the woman he had a brief affair with gave birth to a baby girl last night.

Samantha Burke has reportedly named the child Sophia, but Jude is yet to meet his newborn daughter and wasn’t present at the birth.

“Besides the financial support, he’s not involved,” a source has told People magazine, but in an earlier statement the actor, who has three children with ex-wife Sadie Frost, said he planned to be “a fully supportive part of the child’s life” — so it remains to be seen whether he’ll take on an active role as the girl’s father.

Tension is likely to be high between Jude and his former fling after she started a media bidding war recently for the exclusive first pictures of the baby and a warts-and-all interview about her relationship with the British actor.

There must have been something in the air this week because two other celebrity mums have also welcomed new babies… Sarah Michelle Geller has announced the birth of her baby girl, Charlotte Grace Prinze, and Ellen Pompeo has also welcomed a girl, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery.

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Exclusive extract: *Pearl In A Cage*

Exclusive extract: Pearl In A Cage

Download your exclusive extract from Pearl In A Cage by Joy Dettman here.

About the author:

“What we remember from childhood we remember forever – permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen,” observed prominent American short story writer and novelist Cynthia Ozick.

Glimpses of the landscape of Joy Dettman’s early years reveal how her permanent ghosts have stamped themselves on her writing – such as the darkness that threads its way through her books, from her acclaimed 1998 debut novel, Mallawindy, about a missing child and an abusive father, to her latest, Pearl In A Cage, in which murder and madness weave their way through romance, dry Aussie humour, chooks, cows and a grandmother’s love.

Read more about Liz in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly on page 323.

About the book:

One summer evening in 1923, an elegantly dressed, pregnant stranger is found unconscious in Woody Creek. So begins an intriguing mystery and a series of events with consequences for all, especially the family which takes in the baby. A bold, vividly told Australian drama, with a huge cast of well-drawn characters, led by the lovely Gertrude, possessed of good sense and calm compassion.

HOT DEAL!

Receive $5 off the marked price of this month’s Great Read when you present your AWW coupon at any Dymocks store. See page 324of the August issue of The AWW.

Pearl In A Cage by Joy Dettman, Pan Macmillan, $32.99.

Your Say: Have you read this book? Share your thoughts below…

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Exclusive extract Cleo: How An Uppity Cat Helped Heal A Family

Cleo: How An Uppity Cat Helped Heal A Family

Home Page 5429

Are you feeling satisfied?

Getty Images

Getty Images

Do you always feel hungry, or do you feel as if you’re always eating? Hunger is a complex feeling which can be easily influenced by many factors. Read on for practical tips to help you curb your appetite without starving.

Understanding when we are truly hungry is important not only if we want to lose or manage weight, but to help us enjoy balanced healthy eating.

Are you really hungry?

Boredom, habit, stress or the fact that it tastes good can override a true feeling of hunger. Eating when you’re not hungry can increase your energy intake, making it difficult to manage your weight.

TIP:Listen to your body and pick up on physical signs like an empty or rumbling feeling in your stomach for an indication of true hunger.

Slow down!

The speed at which we eat affects our feeling of fullness. Some people eat quickly because they love the taste, some because they are in a hurry, and others down their meals more quickly because what they are eating makes them feel guilty. Whatever the reason, when food is “fast” we don’t savour the experience, often leading to overeating and therefore, we don’t feel satisfied afterwards.

Challenge:At your next meal, try to slow the rate at which you eat. Enjoy flavours, textures and the way the food makes you feel.

Eat!

We’ve all tried to control our food intake at some time or another by not eating. We think that skipping a meal is going to help us reduce the amount of food we eat. This usually results in an intense hunger which can be hard to control. It can leave you feeling ravenous, looking to eat anything in reach — it’s during these binges we eat the fastest and the most.

TIP:Rather than skip a meal, try eating more frequent, smaller meals so you don’t have that ravenous feeling which can lead to overeating.

Enjoy low-Gi foods

Foods that have a low-glycaemic index are digested slowly, giving you longer-lasting energy and helping you to feel satisfied for longer. Click here for a Sanitarium Nutrition Service fact sheet on glycaemic index.

Tip:Incorporate at least one low-GI food into each meal, such as wholegrain bread, wholemeal pita bread, pasta, sweet potato, fruit bread, low-fat soy or dairy yoghurt, legumes and fruit like apples, pears and oranges.

Salad solution

Research has found that eating a low energy-dense first course, like a salad, may help to decrease the total amount of food we eat at a meal.

This information is provided by the Sanitarium Nutrition Service.

Your say: Do you always feel hungry? How do you curb your appetite? Share with us below…

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Tracy’s year of living dangerously

After 29 years in journalism, A Current Affair’s Tracy Grimshaw is finally getting the recognition she deserves, thanks in part to a series of bruising public encounters this year, writes Michael Sheather.

Tracy Grimshaw couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Driving home on a Saturday afternoon, she took a call from Grant Williams, executive producer of A Current Affair, but the news he delivered was the very last thing she expected.

“Grant’s a capable bloke, but he had trouble telling me what had happened,” recalls Tracy, the 47-year-old host of ACA. “And, finally, he just blurted it out – Gordon Ramsay had gone off half-cocked and publicly called me a fat pig, said I was old and needed Botox. I was completely stunned, absolutely gobsmacked. That’s the only way to describe it. I nearly drove off the road. I had to pull over to take it all in. It simply didn’t make any sense.”

It still doesn’t. Chef Gordon Ramsay’s bizarre, unprecedented and all too public attack on Tracy, with his cruel and sexist accusations about her sexuality, her appearance and her personality in June is as much a mystery to Tracy today as it was when it made headlines around the world three months ago.

Ramsay’s unprovoked tirade and Tracy’s sharp, eloquent and dignified television response – leaving her rude assailant sliced and diced, with nowhere to hide but the kitchen waste bin – was just one contest in a year of high drama and personal success for Tracy, who, with a series of hard-hitting TV encounters, has risen to be considered on the highest tier of Australia’s broadcast interviewers.

She has, say her many supporters, come of age as a journalist, presenter and interviewer, while just as many believe that recognition is long overdue. Her confrontational interview with former colleague and NRL footballer Matthew Johns earlier this year – in which she questioned Johns over his involvement in allegations of group sex during a football trip seven years ago, while his wife, Trish, sat beside him – is being touted as a contender at this year’s Walkley Awards, Australian journalism’s highest honours.

Awards aside, there seems little doubt that Tracy, one of the most accomplished journalists on Australian TV, is at the peak of her game. Her versatility is rarely equalled, slipping easily as she does from an interview with Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to a visiting Hollywood celebrity or a touching encounter with an injured policewoman left for dead after a vicious assault in Sydney’s Kings Cross.

And across them all, she hits the key issues with tenacity and compassion. “She always does a professional job, always had a great sense for a story, but also great humanity and humour,” says friend and Nine Network colleague, Liz Hayes, of 60 Minutes. “She knows how to keep her nerve, how to ask a tough question and not blink.”

They are skills Tracy has needed in spades recently. First, there was her confrontation with disgraced Australian swimmer Nick D’Arcy in April, putting the Olympic hopeful on the public record over his bar-room assault on fellow swimmer Simon Cowley, which left Cowley with a shattered jaw.

“I do like a vigorous interview, I must admit,” says Tracy, whose questioning had D’Arcy on the back foot. “You wouldn’t want to do them all the time because it’s exhausting, for everybody. But I was surprised to get Nick D’Arcy. We had spoken with Simon Cowley and it’s hard not to do a sympathetic piece with Simon because he’d been beaten unconscious. So I was surprised, but I think that showed some bravery on his part.”

Read the rest of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly with Tracy Grimshaw on the cover.

Your say: Why do you find Tracy inspirational? Which of her interviews has been your favourite? Share your thoughts below…

Related stories


Home Page 5429

Belinda Neal: I will fight for my marriage

Photography: Peter Brew-Bevan/Styling: Julie Russell

Photography: Peter Brew-Bevan/Styling: Julie Russell

She may have her own public image problems, but nothing prepared Belinda Neal for her husband John Della Bosca’s confession of infidelity, writes Tracey Curro.

It’s not easy to reconcile the gentle image of the well-groomed blonde woman posed wistfully by the window of a Canberra hotel room with Belinda Neal’s reputation as the volatile federal MP and wife of recently resigned NSW Health Minister John Della Bosca.

As she responds to the “click, click” of the photographer’s shutter, there is no hint of the sharp edges or the outbursts that have shaped the public perception of 46-year-old Belinda, most infamously last year at Iguana Joe’s nightclub at Gosford, in her NSW Central Coast electorate. Yet Belinda Neal has had the kind of start to the month that would make anyone a little reticent.

It’s just weeks since the shock, front-page revelation in Sydney’s The Daily Telegraph that her husband had been having a secret six-month affair with a 26-year-old woman and had quit his job as a minister in the NSW state government. These past few weeks have transformed Belinda Neal. The tough-talking federal MP has had to confront her complicity in a neglected marriage, to face her own mistakes and personal failings, and take “a quantum leap” in learning a whole new way to love and be loved, if she wants her 23-year marriage to survive.

“We both love each other and we want to keep building on that,” she says. “We have decided that, despite everything that’s happened, we are the most important people to each other, and … ”, she falters, momentarily, as the words catch in her throat and tears well in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and rushes out the rest of her thought, “and that’s worth maintaining”.

It’s a rare moment of fleeting emotion during an exclusive interview with The Weekly, in which Belinda Neal, a mother of two, reveals her profound shock at her husband’s confession, the couple’s decision to stay together and the pact that she and John, 53, have now made to save their marriage.

She says she has decided to share her story of a cheating husband to help other women understand that their partner’s infidelity in no way devalues them. There is also a woman’s natural desire to regain her dignity, the sensing of an opportunity to rehabilitate her belligerent image.

Read the rest of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly with Tracy Grimshaw on the cover.

Your say: What do you think of Belinda’s decision? How do you work at your relationships? Share your thoughts below.

Related stories