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Celebrity mug shots

Charlie Sheen was arrested on charges of domestic violence against his wife Brooke Mueller in December 2009. After posting the $8,500 bond he was released from the Pitkin County, Colorado Jail.

Melrose Place star Heather Locklear was pulled over by a California Highway Patrol officer in 2008 after she was seen driving erratically. Heather was charged with one misdemeanor count of driving under the influence. A blood test detected no alcohol or illegal narcotics, but it is believed that her anxiety and depression prescription medications could have contributed to her erratic driving.

Hugh Grant was arrested in Los Angeles in 1995 by officers for lewd conduct in a public place with prostitue Divine Brown. Hugh was fined $1,180, was ordered to take an AIDS education program and was put on two years summary probation.

In 1971 Jane Fonda was arrested at Cleveland Aiport on her way to an anti-war rally. She was found to be carrying three pills and was arrested for suspected drug smuggling. The pills turned out to be her vitamins for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The actress takes a very light-hearted approach to her mug shot…

…and decided to use the shot as inspiration in designing this hand bag!

Child star Macaulay Culkin had his mug shot taken when he was busted for posession of 17.3g of marijuana which landed him in hot water and some brief jail time. The star of Home Alone was arrested in Oklahoma and initially pleaded not guilty to drug charges after chaning his plea to guilty. After some bargaining by his lawyers Macaulay walked away with a fine of $540, three one-year suspended prison terms and a probationary drug treatment program.

Baywatch star Yasmine Bleeth came face to face with her dug addiction in 2001 when she was arrested following a single car accident which saw her vehicle end up on a median strip. Upon searching her car police found syringes with injectable cocaine in them and a small plastic bag with cocaine residue. She was sentenced to two years of probation and 100 hours of community service after pleading guilty to possessing less than 25 grams of cocaine and driving while impaired.

Actor Robert Downey Jr has had his fair share of brushes with the law. From being arrested for possession of heroin, cocaine and an unloaded handgun to speeding to trespassing and falling asleep on a neighbours bed while under the influence of a controlled drug, this bad boy has had his fair share of mug shots.

The 24 star was arrested on two occasions, once for drunk driving and the other for fighting with and head butting fashion designer Jack McCollough at a New York party. He was sentenced to 48 days in jail for the drunk driving charges while the charges for his altercation with Jack McCollough were dropped by police.

Socialite Paris Hilton had her mug shot snapped after being arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol in California. Her license was suspended and she received 36 months probation and fines. Depite her suspended license, Paris continued to drive and was pulled over twice in 2007 with a suspended license. Found to have violated the terms of her probation, she was sentenceed to 45 days jail. But after starting her sentence early, Paris was given 40 days of home confinement instead.

Mel Gibson can be added to the list of celebrities arrested for DUI. The actor, who was pulled over while speeding with an open bottle of alcohol, was sentenced to three years probation. He was also fined and had his license restricted for 90 days. He enrolled himself in a recovery program to battle alcoholism and was ordered to attend self-help meetings five times a week for four and a half months and three times a week for the first year of his probation.

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Style icon: Princess Mary

Although Princess Mary started off as an everyday Aussie, she soon realised her love of fashion and her own ever-changing style.

She quickly became a stand-out royal fashion icon.

Over the years she has developed a style that focuses on getting trends right every time and…

… princess-perfect outfits. She showed that she has both style and class at Copenhagen’s Fashion Week events.

When Princess Mary crossed paths with Michelle Obama it was clear that, although they are both regarded at fashion icons, each have their own super-stylish, lady-like looks.

Keeping up with fashion trends for yourself is hard enough, without having to keep your entire family looking good! But Mary seems to manage just fine, dressing her whole family including husband Prince Frederik and children four-year-old Prince Christian and two-year-old Princess Isabella in style.

Even when she is not in the spotlight and simply being a mum to her two young children, Princess Mary does so with effortless style.

Princess Mary’s successful style is due to her ability to wear every look with incredible confidence!

In 2009 Princess Mary made a special trip to Afghanistan to visit Danish troops. She left own style behind and spent her time there in an army uniform. However she still managed to add her own touches with dainty earrings, a scarf and sunglasses.

Although she has an eye for fashion, Princess Mary doesn’t seem to mind leaving her own style behind for traditional dress. She and Prince Frederick dressed in Greenlandic national costumes when they visited Greenland.

Even when she dresses up for official royal occasions, Princess Mary isn’t afraid to take a risk.

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Give fungicides the flick this summer

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Getty Images

One of the worst benevolences ever perpetrated on a generation of children was free milk at school — especially in Queensland where I grew up. Every child had to drink their small bottle of milk every morning.

All morning we looked out of our classroom and watched the milk getting hotter and hotter under what had been the shade of a tree at 7am. Then at 11 o’clock we were herded out to drink it. While a sun-warmed peach is a thing of delight, the memory of a sun-warmed small bottle of (unhomogenised) milk still makes me retch.

To make matters worse, we had to drink the milk next to the pigs’ bins, where all the crusts and unwanted lunchtime apples were thrown. The bins were emptied on Fridays, but in the meantime they went bubble, bubble, bubble as they fermented. I imagine a whole generation of alcoholic pigs mourned the day that feeding scraps to pigs was banned.

Since those days I have never willingly drunk a glass of milk, except straight from someone’s cow, which doesn’t count. But there are a few extremely good things you can do with a glass of milk. The first one is to make a spray for downy and powdery mildew, and the second is as a preventative for black spot. I know it sounds odd, but milk spray works. I suspect the only reason the sprays aren’t better known is that no company — or gardening nursery — could ever make money selling milk to its customers. So give fungicides the flick and try milk.

The downy and powdery mildew recipe is simple: mix one cup of milk with five cups water, sprayed at the first symptoms then every three days. I spray our pumpkin and zucchini bushes twice a week as soon as Christmas is over. It really does keep them healthier for longer, though it isn’t as effective once you see the brown edges, curling leaves and “white down” of the mildew. Make sure you spray under the leaves as well as on top.

Black spot is those horrible splodges you get on rose leaves, though you’ll often find the spots are yellow or brown instead of black. In bad cases, the leaf shrivels then the whole shoot shrivels up and dies. Like downy mildew, black spot is worst when it’s hot and humid, or when you have a long period of hot dry days then a short burst of rain — which is a pretty good description of Australian summers in most regions.

The anti-black spot recipe is a bit more complicated than the downy mildew recipe: mix one teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda into your glass of milk, and then mix with three cups of water. Spray every four days for two weeks, then once a week.

Actually, if you have black spot on your roses, there’s another great little organic recipe which the American Rose Society recommends, using the same principle of oil and bicarb: you mix three teaspoons of bicarb with 2.5 tablespoons PestOil, then mix into 4.5 litres of water. Again, spray every four days for two weeks, then once a week. The oil stops the spores from germinating, just as the butterfat from the milk does, and the bicarbonate of soda is alkaline and will help kill the spores.

If you don’t want to spray your roses at all, just look for the magic words “black-spot resistant” on the label when you buy a rose. A surprising number of roses are resistant to black spot — just as some varieties will get black and yellow leaves even if you hold an umbrella over their heads every time it rains.

I’ve been testing a few roses that are supposed to be black-spot-resistant over the past few years — and I mean testing. Some of my roses are surrounded by long grass, planted in semi-shade, the lot. Every one of them has lived up to its claim. And I promise you, no matter what sort of rose you love, there is one out there that will tickle your fancy and doesn’t get black spot.

Actually now that I have milk in my fridge for the zucchini and the roses, I’ve found that I’m finally drinking milk again — as iced coffee. Mix decaf coffee and low-fat milk and serve it very, very cold — a good glass of milk is a great way for you and the garden to enjoy the summer.

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Magda: my battle to stay thin

Photography by James Cant. Styling by Jane De Teliga

Photography by James Cant. Styling by Jane De Teliga

All of Australia watched and cheered as funny lady Magda Szubanski lost a massive 36 kilos. While ecstatic with the results, Magda tells Wendy Squires that she is also acutely aware that now is the time she’s most likely to slip up – and it terrifies her.

It’s sundown at one of Sydney’s trendiest eating spots and the beautiful people are starting to arrive for dinner, parading along the harbour foreshore in their fashionable finery.

Only a year ago, Magda Szubanski, comedian, actress and all-round good woman, would have felt self-conscious in such a setting; not necessarily out of place, but certainly not one of them, blissfully unaware of what it is like to feel trapped in their own body.

In pictures: Magda Szubanski

Tonight, however, dressed in her favourite new skinny jeans, a jewel-embellished top and funky black jacket, she blends in with the glamorous types seamlessly. She knows it and what’s more, she enjoys it. For the first time in a long time, Magda is beginning to forget that she was once overweight and on a terrifying road to an early death. She lost 10 kilos on her own, then a further 26 kilos after joining Jenny Craig.

“When I am sitting here I feel the same, but then I catch a glimpse of my reflection and I realise I’m not,” she says, grinning.

“Now, I am forgetting how hard it was – the amount of physical and emotional energy I used to spend getting through a day, how much it weighs on you literally and emotionally, how terrifying it is feeling being so out of control and powerless. Losing the weight has been bumpy, but, oh my God, I’m glad I’ve done it. I can’t tell you how great it feels.”

In pictures: Magda the model

It has been five months since The Weekly last caught up with Magda and, once again, the change is remarkable. Her body is more toned and her skin and eyes sparkle with good health, but it is the lightness in her general demeanour which is most noticeable – like a load has been lifted from her psyche.

Athough she has sustained her goal weight of 85 kilos (maintaining such a reduction is the real feat in long-term weight loss), ironically, Magda says she feels in danger of putting it back on again – now more so than ever. She says she feels wobbly – and not in an excess-of-jiggle way. It’s her innate sense of cockiness that has sent her confidence into a spin and she’s finding it a real challenge to keep it at bay.

“I am definitely now at my most vulnerable and it’s scary,” she explains. “It is fascinating how you try and outsmart yourself time and time again. When I’m on my own, I can get over-confident about food and think I know more than they do [the Jenny Craig experts who have helped her weight loss]. The next thing you know, you’ve put on three kilos. It’s the old pattern. You think, ‘Oh, three – that’s not much to put on, that’s fine’. Then it’s five kilos and you think, ‘Well, it’s still not that bad’. Then it’s 10 kilos and, well, you consider you’ve certainly weighed a lot more and then it’s 20 kilos and so on.”

Your say: What do you think of Magda? Do you think she is inspirational? Have you had a weight loss battle? Share your thoughts below…

Read more from this interview in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly out now with our bumper celebrity cover.

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Star power: Rebecca Gibney

I was a happy, bouncy, energetic tomboy when I was young. My concerned mum enrolled me in modelling lessons to teach me deportment and grooming, and that’s when I became aware of my body. Photographers told me I was too fat to be a model and I should lose 5kg. I was 15 and had what my dad called “a good, solid country build”. I also had bad teenage skin and I went from being a happy, relaxed child into a self-conscious teenager, who couldn’t leave the house without a full face of make-up on. Even today, I won’t go out without mascara.

The botox question: Have they or haven’t they?

But in my 40s, I do feel more relaxed about my looks. I don’t have the body I used to, but when I despair about my stomach, my husband reminds me that it carried our incredibly beautiful son.

I still look in the mirror and wonder where that extra roll, the cellulite and wrinkles came from. I’m very aware of diet and I try to exercise. I go for walks, I use my Wii Fit, I do yoga and I’ve taken up jogging – well, more shuffling, really. I quite like my arms and I try to keep them toned – and my legs are okay, particularly in a pair of pants.

Video: Behind the scenes of The Body Issue cover shoot

I’ve had a bit of Botox, which these days feels like having a facial. I think even if women want to cut their face and put someone else’s on, that’s fine. We should stop judging each other. If someone asks me if their bum looks big, I’ll always say they look fantastic!

Your say: What do you think of Rebecca Gibney? Do you use botox? Would you consider it? Share your thoughts below…

Read more from this interview in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly out now with our bumper celebrity cover.

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Oh, George

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Getty Images

He’s smart, he’s funny … and he’s still single! George Clooney reveals all about life, past loves and his latest pranks, as he chats to us.

George Clooney is everywhere this month: he provides the voice of the title character in the animated screen adaptation of Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr. Fox, he’s getting early Oscar buzz for his role as a commitment-phobic frequent flyer in Up In The Air and he is soon to be seen playing a military man who believes in psychic powers to fight wars in the wonderfully silly The Men Who Stare At Goats, released on March 4 in Australia.

In pictures: The Sexiest Man Alive, George Clooney

Yet all that goes out the window when he shows up for our chat in a hotel in Toronto, Canada, with his right hand tightly wrapped in bandages. He garners concern – as well as wobbly knees – when he leans in for a friendly kiss on the cheek and a hug, wincing when his hand is caught in the middle.

“I wish I could tell you that Brad Pitt punched me, but the truth is more boring,” 48-year-old George says, chuckling, looking fresh and casual in a long-sleeved white T-shirt over jeans. “I just slammed it in a car door – well, a minivan door – at my place in Italy.”

Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor is driving a minivan? Have no fear – the Oscar-winning actor, producer, director and all-round nice guy has not inherited or adopted a gaggle of kids. He just operates an open-door policy at his villa on Italy’s Lake Como when it comes to friends dropping in. The only difference between George and the rest of us is that his friends include people such as Al Gore, Matt Damon, Robert De Niro and the late news anchor, Walter Cronkite.

So why don’t we hate him? After 15 years of interviewing the actor, I still can’t find a reason.

Do you feel foxy or fantastic yourself?

I feel more like a goat now than a fox! [laughs] Literally, I was at dinner last night and I fell asleep – I nodded off at the table! It’s Bill Murray who steals that movie and in Men Who Stare At Goats, it was Jeff Bridges and a goat! But I have three films out and all of them I can sit back and go, “I don’t have anything to be embarrassed about”, and that’s rare.

Has flying first-class and not waiting in lines spoilt you now?

Part of my survival over the past 15 years or so, since ER came out, is that I still stand in line. When I’m on a film, I don’t go to the front of the line when it’s time to eat, I go to the very end. It’s a little embarrassing jumping ahead, so a lot of times I try to avoid that kind of VIP treatment. I don’t find it particularly attractive to come off like you think you are better than everybody else.

What luxury couldn’t you live without?

My villa in Italy! It’s been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done in my life, so I’d go kicking and screaming before I’d have to give up that one.

Have you never considered dyeing your grey hair?

I’ve been going through this thing of people thinking I was about 60 for such a long time that I’m kind of comfortable with getting older. But there were a couple of scenes, when I watched these movies, and thought, “Maybe I better start wearing make-up!”

I’m also complaining a lot about “my back hurts”, “my elbow hurts”, “my shoulder hurts” and it’s like we’re all plugging holes in the dyke trying to keep ourselves in one piece, but at least we’re sitting around laughing about it.

You’re famous for your pranks. What was the last one you pulled?

Matt Damon stayed at my house over the summer with his family. He’d put on a ton of weight to film The Informant and was getting rid of that weight, working out in the gym twice a day and watching what he eats, which is hard to do in Italy! I had the woman who does my clothes take in his pants an eighth-of-an-inch every day, so he would come home and put on his pants, and say, “I don’t understand!” I didn’t tell him about it the whole time he was there, but now he knows. I’m working on one for Brad Pitt, which I’ll fill you in on when it comes off, but he got me last, so something evil has to be done.

You have always been very politically outspoken. Would you ever consider running for office?

No. Wouldn’t it be better if I continued to just do the things that I think would help, as opposed to what Arnold [Schwarzenegger] is doing? He’s a smart guy, talented and knows what he is doing. I disagree with him politically, in general, but he knows what he is doing and he’s in hell in California. I think he’d probably like to be on the set of Terminator if he could choose, so I’m able to stand on the outside of the issues I care about and not straddle the line, which is an easier position to be in

Your say: What do you think of George Clooney? Do you think he is the sexiest man in the world? Share your thoughts below…

Read more from this interview in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly out now with our bumper celebrity cover.

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Fallen Angel

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Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal were the Angelina and Brad of their day until their stars were tarnished by drugs, infidelity and family pathology. In her last days, as Farrah lay dying of cancer, we shared Ryan’s vigil, learning the true struggles and breakthroughs of their 30-year romance.

In the final days of Farrah Fawcett’s life, she was so heavily sedated that she sometimes failed to recognise even Ryan O’Neal, her lover of 30 years and father of her only child.

In pictures: Farrah Fawcett

“When I got to the hospital last night, I said, ‘Who am I?’ She had that thousand-mile stare and she said, ‘Steve’,” Ryan told me.

“I turned to the nurse and said, ‘Who’s Steve?’ The nurse said, ‘He supplies her medications’.”

For nearly three years, she had waged a valiant battle against anal cancer that spread to her liver, but in June 2009, she was hospitalised to treat an infection in the port that had been installed because the veins in her delicate arms had collapsed from the brutal months of injections and IV lines.

As Ryan and I discussed the situation in the Beverly Hills living room of Alana Stewart – ex-wife of actor George Hamilton and rocker Rod Stewart – Farrah’s best friend busied herself in the kitchen, bak ing ginger cookies. Day after day, Ryan and Alana took Farrah’s favourite treats to the hospital, trying to tempt her to eat: green corn tamales, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese. When she was conscious, she thanked them in her soft whispery voice – “That’s so beautiful!” she murmured, lovingly stroking a cookie – and handed it back without taking a bite. She was conscious less and less often.

In pictures: Stars we farewelled in 2009

Her intimates were coping in different ways. “When she turned 60, we had this celebratory birthday where I shot my son,” Ryan said, his tone as casual as if there had been nothing conversation-stopping about such a remark. “I could have hit him, but I missed. Farrah was in bed and she could hear it all – fights, swinging, gunshots. ‘Welcome to the O’Neals’!” Baring his teeth in a faux-cheery grin, he launched into an energetic rendition of Happy Birthday To You.

Ryan had four children by three different women; the son he shot at was Griffin, but Redmond, the deeply troubled child of Farrah and Ryan, was also fair game for mordant remarks.

“I was thinking I’ll get a motorcycle because I’ll get killed and then I can join her,” Ryan said. “But then I thought, No, I can’t because my son’s in jail again!”

He even made black jokes about trying to get his hands on Farrah’s estate. “She has lots of money; we’re trying to find out how much,” he said. “I think she’s got about $25million in the bank and in properties.” He leaned over, staring intently at the empty chair next to him and raised his voice as if shouting to his comatose lover: “What is the pass word? What’s the combination of the safe? Yet then his eyes welled up. “She was supposed to go into hospital for a couple of days, but I don’t know if we’ll ever get her home,” he said, his voice cracking.

Meanwhile, Alana, who had loyally supported Farrah’s fierce belief that she would triumph over her disease, still clung to hope. “I think I’m in some kind of denial,” Alana said, her face wan and tired. “I haven’t faced what you might say is reality. I just keep putting one foot in front of another. Okay, today I’m going to bake cookies.” Yet the stricken look in Alana’s eyes betrayed her recognition of impending loss.

Farrah’s ordeal wasn’t supposed to end like this. “This is so not the way she thought it was going to go,” said Doug Vaughan, the NBC senior vice-president who worked with her on Farrah’s Story, the video diary she made about her battle with cancer. “Farrah was certain that she was going to beat this.”

Your say: What do you think of Farrah Fawcett? Share your thoughts below…

Read more from this interview in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly out now with our bumper celebrity cover.

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Long-lasting Hollywood couples

Hugh and Deborra married in 1996 after Hugh personally designed an engagement ring for Deborra. It had the words Om paramar mainamar, which translated means “we dedicate our union to a greater source” transcripted on it. The pair have two adopted children nine-year-old Oscar Maximillian and five-year-old Ava Eliot.

Demi Moore, 47, and Ashton Kutcher, 31, tied the knot in 2005 after dating since 2003. Demi legally changed her name to Demi Kutcher in 2009, but continues to use Moore as her professional name. The pair regularly share their love for each other on social networking site Twitter.

Posh and Becks started dating in 1997 after meeting at a charity football match. When Victoria first met David she said: “I didn’t really know who he was. I was never into football.” The couple were engaged in 1998 and were married a year later. They have three young sons together. Despite allegations that Becks had an affair with former personal assistant, Rebecca Loos, the couple continues to maintain a strong relationship.

Aussie actress Portia de Rossi has been dating American talk show host Ellen DeGeneres since 2004. The overturn of the same-sex marriage ban in California, meant that the pair were able to announce their engagement in 2008 and Ellen sealed the deal by giving Portia a three-carat pink diamond ring. The loved-up pair were married on August 16, 2008 with just 19 guests present.

Courteney Cox and David Arquette met on the set of the movie Scream in which he played her love interest. The pair married in 1999 and have a daughter together, Coco Riley Arquette whose godmother is Courteney’s best friend Jennifer Aniston.

They met on the set of Tom’s Tv show Bosom Buddies but a love interest between Tom and actress Rita Wilson wasn’t sparked until they worked again with each other on the movie Volunteers. The pair married in 1988 and have since become one of Hollywood’s most popular couples. The pair have two sons Chester and Truman.

The pair, who were married in 1997, have appeared in a number of movies and TV shows together. The couple, who have two young daughters, are one of Hollywood’s most long lasting couples.

Marriage doesn’t seem to be on this couple’s to-do list, but they say that suits them just fine. Goldie Hawn and actor Kurt Russell have been in a relationship since 1983 when they met on the set of the movie Swing Shift . The couple have a son together, Wyatt Russell, and Goldie is step mother to Kurt’s son Boston.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have been married since 1997. The pair have two children Jaden Christopher Syre who co-starred with Will in the The Pursuit of Happyness and Willow Camille Reign, who appeared as his daughter in I Am Legend.

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I faked a miscarriage to go on holiday

Unhappy woman

I had been working a stressful job as a Team Leader for a Call Centre for about eighteen months. The hours were savage and I found myself constantly on the phone appeasing angry customers that no one else wanted to deal with. One of the other Team Leaders – Mark – had made it a habit of sexually harassing me despite my threats to report him and my physical health was starting to suffer.

My Manager spouted endless cliches about ‘taking it on the chin’ and ‘stepping up to the plate’ whenever I gave any indication that I was drowning.

My then boyfriend – Patrick – seemed to think that I was overreacting when I told him I was miserable. He kept telling me that ‘things would get better’ but they didn’t.

I was in tears one night whilst chatting to a very dear friend of mine – Gemma – online. She was sending me consoling messages when I noticed a pop-up for a competition for two tickets to Fiji for three weeks. Accommodation, airfares and food were all covered and the beautiful pictures of palm trees and clear blue ocean suddenly transported me.

I was – for a brief instant – not a miserable Call Centre Team Leader, but a calm, tranquil and happy woman of leisure! I was so swept up in the moment I forgot about Gemma much to her chagrin. I quickly promised her a phone call later that night and set about following the links to the competition.

Before I knew it I was entering all my details and I was away. I then noticed in the Terms and Conditions that I could enter as many times as I wanted. Something came over me and when I next looked at the clock it was two am and I had entered that comp no less than a hundred times at a guess. I waited two weeks that felt like months before scouring my email inbox almost hourly for the message that would add some much needed light at the end of the tunnel.

Every time I checked my messages I would sort through the spam and find nothing stating that I had won the comp or even placed second.

I started to realise the silliness of hoping in something so improbable when it happened. I saw the ‘You’ve Won!!’ message and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. I’m one of those people who never wins anything but I just knew that this would be different.

I read and re-read the email and that’s when my heart sank.

At the bottom of the page – it stated the travel times available and they just happened to fall on the two busiest periods in the Call Centre. No one ever got annual leave approved at those times.

I quickly contacted the organisers and tried to negotiate some flexibility in the travel times but there was nothing doing.

I was sunk. I resigned myself to simply just hopping on the conveyor belt and continuing the job I hated.

It wasn’t as simple as getting another job. I had tried that road and having had limited education I was stuck in a bit of a rut. I had scored this job on the back of a friend who had vouched for me but had since moved on.

My hours meant that I was extremely limited as to how many interviews I could attend if any and I didn’t have the freedom of just quitting and searching for a job full time as my boyfriend was unemployed and we were just scraping by as was.

I was ruminating on all of this when my Manager – Lisa – sat me down for a ‘little talk’. She told me how she had noticed my performance going down hill of late. She said that it was apparent that I didn’t want to be there and she asked me the “would I keep me on staff if I was her” question.

They wanted to fire me. That’s when I snapped. I burst into tears and collapsed into Lisa’s arms. ‘What on earth is wrong with you these days?’ she cried.

I don’t even know why I said it. I knew that no one wanted to hear the real story. I had also been been reading a book on the train to work which included a character who had suffered a miscarriage so I guess it all just sort of came to the surface.

Lisa’s face changed and suddenly her normally ‘all business’ facade dropped. She held me and told me about how she had also lost a baby when she was about my age. I felt awful suddenly but it just felt so good to be held and listened to and comforted. It felt good to matter.

We talked some more and then Lisa told me that we were leaving for the afternoon and she took me out to a quiet little cafe that she said was her favourite.

She said such kind beautiful things to me and all I could do was just keep adding to the lie. The feelings of sadness and being lost and feeling alone were all genuine however and it just got easier and easier.

After several hours Lisa drove me home and I had kept the veneer up for so long now I was starting to believe it.

‘Lisa, I’ll need a little time if that’s alright to…’ I began before she interjected: ‘Of course sweetheart, you take all the time you need – you tell us when you’ll be back ok?’

I didn’t sleep that night. All the next day I just paced and thought and stared and thought some more. I told Patrick that I was on annual leave but he didn’t seem all that interested. After a few days the guilt subsided a little and I got into the swing of things.

I soon found myself calling work and telling Lisa that I would be staying with my Mother ‘up the coast’ for a few months. She said that it sounded like a very good idea and that family was very important at this time. I cringed a little as this was another lie – my Mother actually lives in London.

I then called Gemma and told her we would be going to Fiji in a few weeks time. I won’t lie – Fiji was great.

Patrick and I broke up on my return which was for the best. I thought long and hard about confessing the whole thing many times but I always chickened out. Funnily enough a couple of months after my return to work, I was promoted.

As time went by I felt worse and worse about what I had done. I know that miscarriage is nothing to be taken lightly and I have recently had experience with it personally as my cousin miscarried not long ago. It is a horrible, soul-destroying thing and I feel nothing but guilt about how I used it to my own ends.

All names have been changed. Picture posed by models.

Your say: Have your say about this true confession below…

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Deb loves the New Black

Deborah Mailman

As Kelly, the bubbly flatmate with a heart of gold in the hit series The Secret Life Of Us, Deborah Mailman brought to life one of our most loved TV characters.

But while Deborah bid farewell to Kelly many years ago, she happily confesses a secret of her own – she’s expecting her second child in just a matter of weeks!

“I’ve been very busy getting the house ready for the next baby,” she reveals. “I’ve had a good pregnancy, but these last few weeks have taken their toll on me. I’m getting more exhausted and a bit more uncomfortable. As the time gets nearer, I’m starting to really feel it.”

These days, 37-year-old Deborah’s life is a world removed from the one she inhabited during her high-profile stint on The Secret Life of Us and in films including the acclaimed Rabbit-Proof Fence.

Now blissfully settled in Wollongong with her marketing executive husband Matthew Coonan and their son Henry, almost three, Deborah concedes she doesn’t miss the glamour and glitz of the showbiz industry one little bit.

“We love it here,” she enthuses, adding, “It’s such a beautiful part of the country. We’re so happy. The lifestyle is idyllic and we’re right near the beach. I can’t believe we didn’t do it sooner.”

In fact, the performer explains she and Matthew hope to make the move a permanent one. “We have no desire to go back to the city,” she says. “In Sydney, we had a tiny little place with no backyard and now we have a backyard and a beach.

“Secret Life does feel like 100 years ago. That’s when I was fancy-free and single and didn’t have to worry about family life.

“So it’s been a real shift in terms of where my focus is, but I love just chilling out and being with my son and my husband. But I’ve always been a homebody and I’m far more suited to this life than to the red carpet.” Deborah reveals she has opted not to find out the sex of her unborn baby.

“I’ve got no idea what I’m having,” she says. “We’re going to keep it a surprise this time around.” But one thing’s for sure in Deborah’s mind – little Henry will make a “beautiful big brother” to his new sibling. Deborah, who in 1998 became the first Aboriginal actor to win an AFI Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role in the film Radiance, also has no doubt that being a mum is her favourite role yet.

“I’m very content living in motherland,” she says. “This is everything I’ve always dreamed of, so it’s great to be creating my own family.”

Admitting she can’t imagine her life any other way now, Deborah clearly harbours no regrets about putting acting on the backburner. “I’d been working so long and hard for close to 18 years. Before having Henry, it was all about work. So I’m really happy to be going in a different direction and concentrating on being a mum.

“I just love the playfulness. There’s a simplicity to my day now – even though it’s constant and it’s evolves around my family, it’s just an absolute joy. If it’s not colouring in, it’s watching something on ABC for kids. If it’s not that, it’s having a swim in the ocean. So my days are filled with really beautiful joys.” Having met Matthew four years ago, Deborah confesses they’re yet to leave the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

“He’s just been extraordinary in supporting me and attending to all my whims and crankiness,” she chuckles. “What’s really great is that he’s such a beautiful human being. He’s such a gorgeous soul and that’s what makes our relationship work and makes me fall in love with him every day.”

That said, Deborah was prepared to tear herself away from her loved ones for just a few days to direct the short film Ralph, which she co-wrote for the ABC1 as part of the program The New Black, a collection of short films featuring compelling Indigenous stories.

“I’d never really thought about directing before,” she says. “I was out of my comfort zone for the whole time, but it was such a great challenge. “Eventually, there will hopefully be a time where there will be more opportunities for me to come back into the workforce and, when it does, I’ll be back with guns ablaze!”

Deborah couldn’t help but feel a little maternal towards the young actors in Ralph – Madeleine Madden and Stephen Carr. “They were great kids – really enthusiastic,” she says. “They embraced the whole experience. As a director, it was a dream situation. I just wanted to create an environment where they felt supported and nurtured. I was being the mother hen.”

Meanwhile, Deborah confesses she may not be done with adding to her own brood just yet. “I’d love to have more,” she says, adding with a laugh, “but I’m getting on now. It may not be up to me!”

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