When we got back home I didn’t actually see Ben or Kelly for nearly four weeks and I was so busy with the kids, Rob and work that I almost managed to put them out of my mind.
A few times I lay in bed thinking about my reaction to Ben but I convinced myself that I’d imagined it – the holiday atmosphere or too much to drink had unnerved me and now everything was back to normal.
Rob was in terrific form after the holiday and we were getting on even better than usual, which included quite a few nights curled on the couch and early nights with a bottle of wine after we’d packed the kids off to bed.
Then my boss, Maria, called me in for a meeting to tell me that our firm was working with another company – usually one of our competitors – on a big advertising account. When she told me the name of the company we would be working for I was stunned with excitement at being involved with such a major player and even more thrilled when she said I would be leading our team.
The first meeting with our collaborators was that afternoon and I was bursting to tell Rob, so snatched a quick phone call to break the news. “This is such a break for you!” he said and I loved him for sounding as excited as I was “I’ll finish early and get the kids so you just take as much time as you need. See you tonight.”
I spent my lunch hour reading up both on the company we would be working with and the account we had won and then ensured my hair, makeup and total look was as elegant and flawless as possible.
Spraying on perfume I gave a final twirl, collected the other three members of my team and breezed into the conference room, only to find myself putting my hand out in greeting to an equally surprised Ben, who was leading the other team.
Everyone else introduced themselves and we settled down to a very busy and productive afternoon, finally finishing up as the office was closing. Everyone else dispersed very quickly, but Ben loitered as I said goodnight to Maria.
“I really enjoyed working with you,” he said as we got into the lift and again I tried to put my attraction for him out of my mind “You’ve got some great ideas there and I think we’re going to work well as a team.” I nodded. “Yes, we all seem to be on the same wavelength but this is going to be a busy few months. How are Kelly and the kids and have you all settled in?” I replied.
He laughed. “ It’s been mad, but let’s all get together soon. Um…do you fancy a quick coffee to tie up the loose ends?”
I hesitated at first but we discussed all the finer details of the campaign before coffee became wine and the chat became more personal and I could feel that unsettling confusion stealing over me.
Sure, we were on the same wavelength when it came to work and had the potential to get on extremely well as friends, but that was no reason to make an idiot of myself, especially when I was so happily married.
I looked at my watch as Rob crossed my mind and realised it was time to go before one wine became two and I would be unable to drive, so Ben walked me to my car.
“It was lovely to see you again and I’m looking forward to working with you,” I said calmly, proud of hiding my feelings as we shook hands.
“I’m not the only one who feels like this, am I?” he said suddenly, sliding his hands round my waist.
All my good intentions disappeared and I kissed him back as fiercely as he was kissing me, ramming my body unashamedly against his thigh as he held me tightly against him. Any thoughts of Rob disappeared and I was desperate for Ben to keep stroking me, as his hands slid up my thin blouse. “Not here!” I gasped eventually. “Where then?” he said urgently and I realised that it was no longer if, but when I would sleep with this man…
>> Forward to the next diary instalment.
Your say: What do you think of this true confession? Share your thoughts below…
Newsletter conversion description. Get the latest in your inbox.
