According to matchmaker Della Cory, affluent baby boomers (men and women over 55) are quickly becoming the largest population of singles in Australia.
“If you’re a mature, affluent single, finding the right partner can be difficult,” Cory says. With nearly 20 years’ experience introducing people, Cory has some fascinating insights into what the former “free-loving” generation of mature singles are looking for in a partner, and some excellent suggestions on how they might find themselves an eligible match.
Who are they?
The profile of a 21st-century mature single is varied, Cory explains. “They are single parents, empty nesters, busy professionals or retired people.” But they all share the common trait of having little or no experience in today’s modern dating world. “Most have not dated since their teens, if ever!” she says.
What do they want?
More to the point, the boomers who are “getting back out there”, quickly find that their adolescent idea of dating (and what they were looking for in a partnership back then) is outdated, impractical and no longer serves them. “In mature life their needs for a partner are focused around common values, the desire to share travel and lifestyle activities, romance and intimacy,” she says. “For some it is sharing their ‘bucket list’.
“Mature singles have already had their marital experience,” Cory says. “A very high percentage prefer not to re-marry or live with their partner, even though they are in a fully committed relationship. They feel this keeps the desire alive.”
For example, one of Cory’s clients recently lost her boyfriend, who passed away at a ripe old age, after sharing 30 years of romance and adventure with her. The couple never lived together.
Where do they meet?
There is no bar scene for mature singles — so how are they to connect with other ‘eligibles’? “All their friends are married and the options of speed dating, risky computer dating, and singles’ parties are completely not to their taste,” Cory says. “Some will have a go, only to find out that they are not catered for, due to their age. A few have learned the hard way about playing a risky game with strangers when it comes to their personal lives and hard-earned assets.”
Take matters into your own hands
All is not lost, Cory says, it’s about being proactive. “I think it’s important to get back to the idea of introducing people to one another, rather than everything being anonymous,” she says. “Cultivate a new single group of your own and attract into that group other eligible singles who are looking for dating and for partners.
“Start with a group date — if you’ve got two single women and they each invite one single person that they know of the opposite sex, then there’s four,” Cory says. “With a group of four, or even eight, you can comfortably go out together to a dance or a singles event and have fun, and work in a group to attract other people to you. It’s easier than working alone.
“If you’re really serious about finding someone, then you make a serious effort and do it once a week.”
The ‘in’ crowd
Cory recommends letting different people in the group suggest the weekly outings.
“Wine tastings, art openings, product launches … activities where you can experience something together are best,” she says. “You might have a dinner party or a cocktail evening and ask your group of eight singles to invite another eight, so then you have 16 and you have a party.”
Then the good old-fashioned fun really starts. “Once you have a big group you can do something like go on a little holiday together,” Cory says. “Rent a big house somewhere invite even more people along.”
The dynamic is natural and easy, and seems to work the same way a group of single friends at school or university would work, except these singles have a wealth of life experience (and far more material wealth) to contribute.
“Those in the group who don’t become intimate partners can become friends,” Cory says. “And as people partner off you just refill the group with more singles until they themselves are partnered up and off they go. It only takes four single people to get this started.”
So what are you waiting for? You only live twice!
Your say: Do you have any tips for finding love the second time around? Tell us more [email protected]
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