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Women fake orgasms to keep their man: study

Women fake orgasms to keep their man: study

Image: Getty, posed by models

Women who are unsure whether their man is faithful are more likely to fake orgasms and engage in “mate-guarding” behaviours in an effort to hold on to their man, a new US study has found.

The research, conducted at the HIV Centre for Clinical and Behavioural Studies at Columbia University, is the first to find a quantitative link between suspicions of infidelity to the likelihood of faking orgasm.

Study researcher Farnaz Kaighobadi said woman often fake orgasms to hold on to their relationship.

“A lot of the time, women are using it just as a tool to strengthen their relationship,” she told LiveScience.

“Sometimes women could be pretending orgasm just to show love and care to their partner.”

Of the woman surveyed for the research about half of the respondents said they had faked an orgasm at some point in their lives.

“One particular reason that emerges from a lot of studies is ‘to keep my partner interested in this relationship,’ or ‘to prevent him from defecting [from] the relationship or ‘leaving the relationship for another woman’,” Kaighobadi said.

In order to see if these feelings were relevant to other woman, Kaighobadi distributed surveys to 453 women, ranging in age from 18 to 46, who had been in relationships for at least six months.

About 54 percent of the women reported they had faked an orgasm at some point in their relationship. The woman who had faked orgasms were found to be more suspicious about their partners’ fidelity than the women who said they hadn’t faked any orgasms.

This group of woman was also actively “mate-guarding” which can mean anything from simply dressing up nicely to impress their partner to keeping tabs of where he goes to telling off other women who look at him.

“It seems that women who were more likely to pretend orgasm were also more likely to do a variety of these behaviours at the same time,” Kaighobadi said.

The researchers didn’t ask how satisfied the women were with their sexual relationships Kaighobadi said, so it was unknown whether faking orgasm is related to lower levels of satisfaction in bed.

Kaighobadi added the survey did not ask woman how satisfied they were with their sexual relationships. However, the research, published in the November issue of the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, could help inform about whether the female orgasm is adaptive; meaning it somehow gives women an evolutionary advantage.

In the past, researchers have argued over whether orgasms help a woman retain sperm from valued partners, and whether having orgasms keeps a male partner interested.

“Only one or two studies provide evidence of whether there is an adaptive function or not,” Kaighobadi said. “We’re not sure, and I think there should be a lot more study.”

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Angelina Jolie: “I am very lucky to be here”

Angelina Jolie: "I am very lucky to be here"

Before meeting Brad Pitt, Angeline Jolie was known for her bad girl behaviour.

Most famously for passionately kissing her brother in public, and hanging a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck when the pair were married back in 2000.

But since meeting Brad she has admitted to moving on from being a bad girl in most ways.

In the interview with 60 Minutes which airs on Sunday night in the US, Angelina admits she lived dangerously.

“I went through heavier, darker times and I survived them. I didn’t die young,” she revealed during the interview.

“So I am very lucky to be here. People can imagine I did the most dangerous things, I did the worst — and for many reasons, I shouldn’t be here … too many dangerous things, too many chances taken too far.”

And despite putting those days behind her, the 36-year-old mother of six said she can still be pretty edgy.

“I’m still a bad girl. I still have that side of me … it’s just in its place now… it belongs to Brad. Or … our adventures,” she said.

Watch the preview of the 60 Minutes interview in the video player above.

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Catholics are more likely to cheat study finds

Catholics are more likely to cheat study finds

Image: Getty, posed by models

A British survey has found that Catholics are the most adulterous religious group in the UK.

The research showed that 21.5 percent of the 600,000 members on an extra-marital dating site were Catholic — a high figure for the UK as Catholics make up just 10 percent of the population.

The research found that Church of England followers are more faithful than Catholics, atheists or agnostics with the most loyal spouses being either Jewish or Methodists the UK’s Daily Mail reported.

Harley Street social therapist Christine Elvin, said that people who subscribe to stricter religions, may be more likely to cheat.

“In tight structured relationships the pressure is huge, religious boundaries can create many rules and to obey them all could result in some feeling suffocated and tempted to escape so they can feel alive again,” she said.

“To be religious does not automatically make you a good person; religious people aren’t always immune from the trials and tribulations that affect others.

“Religious texts have given us a tool on how to live and how not to live. Some religious beliefs can cause much pain and guilt, being obedient and powerless can cause ‘irrational guilt’ leading to depression.”

The research found that three religions that have the strictest rules when it comes to fidelity, are also the three that are statistically the most likely to cheat.

“Many can get wrapped up in the idea that being good is more important than being happy,” Elvin said.

“Needs are not met, so psychological problems appear, causing some people to seek out happiness elsewhere.”

Spokesperson for Illicit Encounters, a UK website which offers confidential extra-marital affairs dating service for married women and men, Rosie Freeman-Jones said religious people liked to break the rules.

“Religious people have a much stronger sense of right and wrong, which also means they’re likely to get a bigger thrill from breaking the rules,” she said.

“For some people, affairs are about being ‘naughty’, and because religious people are instilled from a young age with a set of concrete morals, being naughty for them holds much more of a kick than for your average agnostic or atheist.”

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The Thread

The Thread

The Thread by Victoria Hislop, Headline, $29.99.

There’s a lot of history in The Thread, but Victoria Hislop’s lightness of touch and warm lyrical style make it a lesson you genuinely relish.

This is the author’s third novel set in Greece and here, in the multicultural city of Thessaloniki, she delves much deeper into the fabric of this nation, examining the relatively recent and painful past that has informed the last few generations.

“Thessaloniki is an amazing place — you can feel the history even in the streets. It was the striking mixture of architecture — grand 19th century French mansions, 3rd century Roman buildings, including a very, very early church, and old Turkish ‘cottages’ — that first made me ask questions and want to find out more,” Victoria tells The Weekly.

“When the novel begins, the population was made up approximately of one-third Muslims, one-third Greek Orthodox and one-third Jewish. These three sectors of population lived together harmoniously, but everything suddenly changed in the space of only two decades. My story begins in 1917 when all three elements were there and two decades later, only the Greek Orthodox remained.

“How and why that happened and the relationships caught up in a world of Nazi occupation and religious prejudice are the building blocks of the novel’s traumatic tale of devastation and survival, which is also a deeply felt love story.

“It was inspirational material and very sad, too, and the novel describes how people survived all the traumas of change,” explains Victoria, who developed a complex plot with multiple threads. Hence the title, which also refers to pieces of embroidery crucial to the structure.

Yet the real power of this work lies in the intense and sensitively drawn relationships between the generations — grandparent and grandchild — and childhood friends torn apart by their backgrounds.

Mix in pervasive descriptions of Greece so vivid you can almost smell the Mediterranean aromas and it’s impossible not to lose yourself in Hislop’s tempestuous world.

About the author: Victoria Hislop

Raised in England, this 52-year-old mother of two started writing novels after the birth of her first child, a daughter.

“I used to write while she was sleeping.” The Thread is her third novel.

The first, The Island, sold more than two million copies and was made into a TV series in Greece.

Victoria is married to Ian Hislop, editor of UK satirical magazine Private Eye, who she says isn’t allowed to read her books until the final draft.

“He is always truthful. He told me with The Thread that I had rushed the end. So I went back and made it much better. He was right, so I was very grateful!”

JOIN THE AWW BOOK CLUB

In 30 words or less, tell us what is great about a book you are reading at the moment. The best critique will win The AWW Cooking School cookbook, valued at $74.95, and be printed in the July issue of The Weekly. Simply visit aww.com.au/bookclub, or email [email protected], or write to The Great Read, GPO Box 4178, Sydney, NSW 2001.

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Mean girls: Pre-teens want ‘revenge’ on bad friends

Mean girls

Little girls may be sugar and spice, but they are anything but nice when friends let them down.

A new study conducted by Duke University has proved that movies like Mean Girls are not as exaggerated as people might think.

While previous research suggested young girls were better at forming and maintaining friendships than young boys, the Duke University study found that girls are more likely to be angry, sad and seek revenge against the pal who wronged them.

In pictures: Suri Cruise pulls faces for the paparazzi

Researchers asked a group of 267 pre-teen boys and girls about how they would feel in 16 hypothetical situations, which included friends telling their secrets to other children, friends not completing their part of a group assignment and friends not reacting compassionately to personal tragedies, such as the death of a pet.

Both sexes were just as likely to want to verbally attack the friend, threaten to end the friendship, or seek revenge against the friend.

But when it came to emotions, girls were far more affected by a disappointing friend than boys, reporting they would feel more anger and sadness.

Girls were also more likely to view the friend’s transgression as a sign the pal didn’t care about them.

“Our finding that girls would be just as vengeful and aggressive toward their friends as the boys is particularly interesting because past research has consistently shown boys to react more negatively following minor conflicts with friends, such as an argument about which game to play next,” study leader Steven Asher said.

“It appears that friendship transgressions and conflicts of interest may push different buttons for boys and girls.”

Asher and the report’s co-author Julie Paquette MacEvoy hope their findings can be used to help parents better understand how to support children going through a difficult time at school.

“When we try to help children who are struggling in their friendships, we may need to focus on somewhat different issues for boys versus girls,” MacEvoy said.

“For girls, it may be critical to help them learn how to better cope when a friend lets them down.”

In pictures: Royal rugrats – Princess Mary’s children

The study will be published in an upcoming issue of Child Development.

Your say: How do your children react when a friend disappoints them?

Video: A guide to punishing your children

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‘Our home was invaded by a knife-wielding intruder’

'Our home was invaded by a knife-wielding intruder'

Michael and Deborah Costa and their children Valentina and Mikos.

The Costa family enjoyed an idyllic country lifestyle with their precious children — until a knife-wielding intruder destroyed their sanctuary. Jordan Baker visits a family trying to put the pieces of their life back together.

The Costa family considered their farm their refuge, a place where five-year-old Valentina and two-year-old Mikos could forget the punishing medical appointments they needed to stay alive, and where their father Michael, the former NSW treasurer, could shut out the noise of politics.

The isolated, 54-hectare property was a place where Deborah and Michael could give their children bush adventures and pony rides to make up for the tubes, tablets and pain they lived with every day.

True crime: Two wives, two murders, one killer

Not once in eight years did Deborah feel unsafe. Yet that changed in April, when a masked stranger broke into her kitchen, brandishing a carving knife.

He tied Deborah up in front of her children and for a terrifying half hour she thought they would witness her rape and murder.

The family often spends part of the week in their city flat while they take the children to specialists to help manage their complex and painful gastro-intestinal problems.

Late on April 13 this year, they returned to their farm after another round of appointments.

The next morning, Michael left for an early meeting and the rest of the family pottered around the house; Valentina lay on the couch sick with flu, while Deborah and Mikos played in the kitchen.

Deborah did not notice the man in a black balaclava hiding in bushes, watching the house. Nor did she hear him creeping through the door. She only realised he was there when she turned around to find a knife in her face.

A hundred thoughts flashed through her head in a nanosecond. Was she dreaming? Did she know him? Was it a joke? “Then there’s the moment when you realise it’s not and that there’s a man in your house dressed in black waving a knife.”

She was gripped by panic. He ordered her to lie down on her stomach, but she backed away until he became too insistent to disobey. He tied her feet with wire, then fastened her hands behind her back.

“My daughter saw me and was leaning over, screaming,” she says. “She started yelling, ‘Mum, what’s happening, what’s he doing?’ I thought, ‘I can’t move, this man is going to rape me.’ “

Deborah was convinced that her children would witness her death.

“The feeling is indescribable,” she says. “That’s when I started singing to them. I thought in my kids’ last moments with me, I want them to feel some comfort. I sang The Rainbow Song — ‘red and yellow and pink and green’.”

Valentina kept screaming and Deborah tried to reassure her, despite her own terror. “I said, ‘It’s okay, this man needs some help, isn’t it great that we can help him?’ “

The intruder ordered her to stay on the floor. He emptied her wallet of its contents — $5 — and started loading 28 bottles of wine into her car, while telling Deborah not to move, he would be back.

Valentina was hysterical and Mikos bewildered, begging his mother to pick him up and get his dummy. When the intruder finished with the wine rack and went outside, Mikos ran screaming after him.

“He started screaming for my husband,” says Deborah. “I don’t know if he thought this man was my husband. I thought, ‘He’s going to take my son.’ “

Terrified he was going to return and not knowing whether her son was safe, Deborah told Valentina to dial 000 on the cordless phone.

Valentina — confused, upset and only four years old — struggled to understand. She tried to dial 000, but it didn’t work, so Deborah used her tongue to hang up the phone.

Valentina dialled again and this time the call went through. She held the phone next to her mother’s ear and the emergency operator did her best to comfort her while she notified police.

True crime: I’m haunted by my daughter’s murder

The wait seemed interminable. When Deborah heard the crunch of footsteps, she thought it was the intruder returning. It was a police officer with her baby son.

“I tried to stay calm, but when the police officer came around, it was indescribable, the feeling I was safe. I just cried.”

The ordeal was over. Or the first part of it, at least.

Read more of this story in the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Have you experienced anything like this before?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

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Sarah Murdoch on whingeing models, family and turning 40

Sarah Murdoch on whingers, family and turning 40

Photography by Simon Lekias. Styling by Judith Cook and Mattie Cronan.

Sarah Murdoch discusses ‘whingeing’ model wannabes, turning 40 and why her family will always come first.

Sarah Murdoch has a message for Generation Y. “I have never heard so much whingeing and as for a work ethic, I don’t know where that’s gone.”

The producer and host of Foxtel’s reality TV hit, Australia’s Next Top Model, is just days from season seven’s grand finale when we sit down for breakfast in Sydney’s Centennial Park.

In pictures: Beauties who have banned airbrushing

While Sarah’s proud that this series has been the best ever, both in quality and ratings, and is certain she’s on the cusp of crowning the most talented model the series has ever discovered (a few days later, the effortlessly statuesque Montana Cox won the competition to universal acclaim), she has a few things to get off her chest.

“I mean, we’re the ones sitting on set for 18 hours; they’re back in a green room having sandwiches and cups of tea, and they’re still whingeing,” she says with an exaggerated eye roll.

“That’s why I felt I had to be quite strict on them this year. For me, the show is about personal growth and I think the most important thing is to realise how fortunate you are and to work with what you’ve been given. I keep saying to these girls, ‘Do you not realise who you are working with? Do you not realise the leg up you’ve been given? Can you not fathom what has been handed to you here and you’re still complaining!’

“This idea that you should just be famous for being famous and it should all be handed to you, and it shouldn’t be hard work …”

Hard work is something Sarah knows a thing or two about. “When I was modelling, you were at the bottom of the ladder. When you got to a shoot, you just did what you were told and had no say. In fact, it was better if you didn’t speak at all. No one was interested in what you had to say.”

Rumours are swirling that Sarah will join her husband at Network Ten to work as an anchor for a possible breakfast or morning show, but Sarah absolutely refutes them.

“I don’t have any ego about having to be a huge TV star, I really don’t,” she says. “Not that I’m not an ambitious person, but my priority is my family and my children, so anything I do has to fit in with that.”

With this in mind, Sarah set up her own production company so she could seize the reins of her own career.

“When I was on the Today show, I was working for a network and I felt that at this point in my life I really just wanted to have a bit more ownership in anything that I did and have full creative control. Top Model is something I feel very passionate about and responsible for, and I wanted to have real control over this show and everything that involved me or the messages I was sending out.”

In pictures: Sarah Murdoch

Next year is another important year for Sarah with the big 4-0 on the horizon. “My mum says she dreams she’s still 21 and when she wakes up and looks in the mirror she has a heart attack. I can relate to that and while it is kind of big [turning 40], it’s also not. I’m at a really good point in my life now with the kids. I’m going to enjoy it.”

Read more of this story in the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

Video: Sarah strips off

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Cinderella ate my daughter

Cinderella ate my daughter

Little girls love pink — or do they? Peggy Orenstein looks at the influence of marketing and asks whether girls are born wanting to be princesses or have had princesshood thrust upon them.

Here is my dirty little secret: as a journalist, I have spent nearly two decades writing about girls, thinking about girls, talking about how girls should be raised. Yet, when I finally got pregnant myself, I was terrified at the thought of having a daughter.

I was supposed to be an expert on girls’ behaviour. What if, after all that, I was not up to the challenge myself?

In pictures: Suri Cruise’s public meltdown

Then I saw the incontrovertible proof on the sonogram (or what they said was incontrovertible proof; to me, it looked indistinguishable from, say, a nose) and I suddenly realised I had wanted a girl — desperately, passionately — all along. I had just been afraid to admit it.

Yet I still fretted over how I would raise her, what kind of role model I would be, whether I would take my own smugly written advice on the complexities surrounding girls’ beauty, body image, education, achievement.

Would I embrace frilly dresses or ban Barbies? Push football boots or tutus?

Shopping for her, I grumbled over the relentless colour coding of babies. Who cared whether the crib sheets were pink or plaid? During those months, I must have started a million sentences with “My daughter will never…”

And then I became a mother. Daisy was, of course, the most beautiful baby ever (if you don’t believe me, ask my husband).

I was committed to raising her without a sense of limits: I wanted her to believe neither that some behaviour or toy or profession was not for her sex nor that it was mandatory for her sex.

I wanted her to be able to pick and choose the pieces of her identity freely — that was supposed to be the prerogative, the privilege of her generation.

For a while, it looked as if I were succeeding. On her first day of nursery, at the age of two, she wore her favourite outfit — her “engineers” (a pair of pin- striped overalls) — and proudly toted her Thomas the Tank Engine lunchbox.

My daughter had transcended typecasting. Oh, how the mighty fall. All it took was one boy who, while whizzing past her in the playground, yelled, “Girls don’t like trains!” and Thomas was shoved to the bottom of the toy chest.

Within a month, Daisy threw a tantrum when I tried to wrestle her into trousers. As if by osmosis, she had learned the names and gown colours of every Disney Princess.

She gazed longingly into the tulle-draped windows of the local toy stores and, for her third birthday, begged for a “real princess dress” with matching plastic high heels.

Meanwhile, one of her classmates, the one with two mummies, showed up to school every single day dressed in a Cinderella gown. With a bridal veil.

What was going on here? My fellow mothers, women who once swore they would never be dependent on a man, smiled indulgently at daughters who insisted on being addressed as Snow White.

The supermarket checkout clerk invariably greeted Daisy with “Hi, Princess”. The waitress at our local breakfast joint, a hipster with a pierced tongue, called Daisy’s “funny-face pancakes” her “princess meal”.

The lady at the pharmacist offered us a free balloon, then said, “I bet I know your favourite colour!”, and handed Daisy a pink one, rather than letting her choose for herself.

Then, shortly after Daisy’s third birthday, our high-priced paediatric dentist pointed to the exam chair and asked, “Would you like to sit in my special princess throne so I can sparkle your teeth?”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I snapped. “Do you have a princess drill, too?” She looked at me as if I were the wicked stepmother.

Yet, honestly, since when did every little girl become a princess? It wasn’t like this when I was a kid and I was born back when feminism was still a mere twinkle in our mothers’ eyes.

We did not dress head to toe in pink. We did not have our own miniature high heels.

As my little girl made her daily beeline for the dress-up corner of her classroom, I fretted over what playing Little Mermaid, a character who actually gives up her voice to get a man, was teaching her.

On the other hand, I thought, maybe I should see princess mania as a sign of progress, an indication that girls could celebrate their predilection for pink without compromising strength or ambition.

That, at long last, they could “have it all”: be feminist and feminine, pretty and powerful, earn independence and male approval. Then again, maybe I should just lighten up and not read so much into it.

In pictures: Child stars all grown up

This is an edited extract from Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From The Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture, by Peggy Orenstein, published by Harper Press.

Read more of this story in the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think girls are born liking pink, or is it something drummed into them?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

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Chew gum, lose weight

Chew gum, lose weight

Forget diet and exercise — weight loss could soon be as simple as chewing some gum.

Scientists at Syracuse University are developing a gum that will make chewers feel full, leading them to consume less kilojoules and ultimately slim down.

A team of researchers led by chemist Robert Doyle have discovered that the hormone that makes people feel ‘full’ after eating can be delivered into the body orally.

In pictures: How to lose kilos without noticing

Doyle’s study — published in an upcoming issue of the American Chemical Society’sJournal of Medicinal Chemistry— centres around the hormone PYY, which regulates appetite.

The human body releases PYY into the bloodstream when people eat or exercise, leading to a feeling of being full. Typically, obese people have far lower levels of PYY in their bloodstream, leading them to consume more kilojoules because they don’t feel satisfied.

Previous studies have identified PYY’s role in supressing appetite, but have been unable to deliver the hormone into the bloodstream because it is destroyed by the body’s digestive system.

“PYY is an appetite-suppressing hormone,” Doyle says. “But, when taken orally, the hormone is destroyed in the stomach and that which isn’t destroyed has difficulty crossing into the bloodstream through the intestines.”

Doyle and his team have overcome this problem using his patent-pending Vitamin B12 system, which is used to deliver insulin orally instead of intra-venously. The system works by binding insulin to Vitamin B12, a substance that passes through the digestive system and into the blood with ease, carrying less-hardy substances with it.

Early trials have shown that PYY taken orally can also reach the bloodstream in this way, effectively being ‘smuggled’ into the blood by the B12.

“Phase one of this study was to show that we could deliver a clinically relevant amount of PYY into the bloodstream,” Doyle says. “We did that, and we are very excited by the results.”

Doyle’s team is now trying to find a way to insert the modified B12-PYY into chewing gum or oral tablets to help people lose weight.

In pictures: Gym habits that are holding you back

“If we are successful, PYY-laced gum would be a natural way to help people lose weight,” he says. “They could eat a balanced meal, then chew a stick of gum.

“The PYY supplement would begin to kick in about three to four hours later, decreasing their appetite as they approach their next meal.”

Scientists from Perth’s Murdoch University also collaborated in the study.

Your say: Would you buy weight loss gum?

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Celebrity Apprentice reveals who is nice – and who is nasty

Celebrity Apprentice reveals who is nice – and who is nasty

The cast of Celebrity Apprentice 2011.

If the Australian stars of Celebrity Apprentice had done their research and watched the US version, they would have realised that the show is Russian Roulette for their careers.

The show gives us an intimate look at celebrities’ personalities, without the publicists, marketing teams and soft lighting.

For those who come off well, it can revive or make their career — Aussie chef Curtis Stone’s popularity rocketed in the United States because he was such a nice bloke on the show.

In pictures: The best film and TV transformations

It can show a whole different side to a celebrity you thought you knew — hard rocker Meatloaf cried almost nightly. Or, it can really take the gloss off.

And so it was with the Australian series. Some of the contestants will do well as a result of it.

Julia Morris, the winner, was likable and funny, and showed an admirable ability to contain her frustration with the other contestants. I bet she’ll be hosting a show soon.

Jesinta Campbell gave us new respect for beauty queens by being smart, honest and unafraid of playing a straight bat.

Shane Crawford’s football background stood him in good stead; he was very much a team player, and as a result, his fame will spread from the AFL states to the rest of the country.

But other stars damaged their “brand”. I will never look at Jason Coleman again without gritting my teeth in frustration at his smug sense of superiority.

General esteem for Max Markson was never very high anyway, but will have slipped further, except among those who have patience with relentless attention-seekers.

I will remember Pauline Hanson for her pursed lips and her sulking. And I disagree with Julia Morris’ suggestion that criticism of Deni Hines was racist; Deni came across as a self-absorbed, sometimes-nasty diva.

I haven’t done the numbers, but I’m guessing only the lucky few celebrities survive Celebrity Apprentice with greater respect than they had when they started. But for our sake, I hope they keep lining up for it anyway.

In pictures: Amazing celebrity weight loss

It’s refreshing to watch them warts and all, and may be a timely antidote to this silly notion that somehow celebrities are better people than the rest of us.

Jordan Baker is The Weekly’s News Editor. Click here to follow her on Twitter and here to follow The Weekly.

Your say: Do you think the way the stars of Celebrity Apprentice behaved on the show will have an impact on their future careers?

Video: Celebrity Apprentice finalists

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