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Dear me: Lisa Wilkinson’s letter to herself at 16

Lisa Wilkinson has shared a flashback photo to the 90s of when she was editor of CLEO Magazine. Here she writes for The Weekly about what life lessons she wish she knew at 16.
Dear me: Lisa Wilkinson's letter to herself at 16

Lisa Wilkinson today, and as a teenaged school girl.

Imagine if you could whisper in the ear of your teenage self. What advice might you have shared? TV presenter Lisa Wilkinson shares her letter.

It hasn’t been easy lately, has it? In fact, it’s been three long years since the bullying started and I know better than anyone how many tears you’ve shed.

I also know how relieved you are on this, your 16th birthday, that school has broken up for the Christmas holidays, liberating you from that handful of girls who have made your life hell.

Lisa Wilkinson shared this picture of her CLEO days in the 90s.

Yes, it does seem strange that not one of them has told you what it is you’ve done to anger them, but that is the point really.

There is no reason and their actions have very little to do with your imperfections … and everything to do with their problems.

Yet here is the amazing thing — you.

One day, when you least expect it, some of them will track you down for a different reason. To apologise.

They will be grown women with children of their own, living in fear that others will do to their kids what they did to you.

You will be surprised by your calm when this happens. And your understanding that you have left it all behind. They perhaps might not.

I know that a career seems like a giant question mark right now. Air hostess? Teacher? Secretary? Journalist? I have good news, but you will have to work hard.

When opportunity comes your way, recognise it, back yourself and run with it. When others see promise in you, believe it. It’s then that you will fly.

There will come a rainy Thursday in a few years’ time when Mum will tell you to pull your head out of the pages of Dolly and go and grab The Sydney Morning Herald to see if there is a job with your name on it.

I really don’t want to say too much, as that would spoil the surprises in store, but at least know the well-thumbed Dolly copies under your bed Mum keeps telling you to throw out? Maybe don’t, just yet.

I know Saturdays can be a little quiet at home when the whole family heads off to the rugby and your two brothers take to the field.

I know you wonder, with four of your girlfriends dating guys in the team (as you stay at home playing, yet again, Janis Ian’s ‘At Seventeen’), whether you should, too.

Resist. Eventually, rugby will find you. And so will love. In a very different way than you could imagine. Even though Dad might not be there when it happens, he will have a hand in it. You will know the moment. And you will smile, sure in that knowledge.

When it comes to boys, try not to lose “you” when you love. Scratch that … I want you to know what that feels like so you know not to do it again.

But, yes, there will be one and, before you know it, a family, walking life’s path with you; a family you’ll love more than you can possibly imagine loving anything.

Lisa, it is all going to work out. You won’t be a stranger to tough times, though.

Sometimes, you’ll wonder if you need your head read over some of the challenges you take on. You will know sadness, fears and disappointments, too. But from where I sit, I wouldn’t change a single second of what lies ahead.

No regrets. Ever. No one could ask for more.

Hugs, your older self,

Lisa.

Your say: What advice would you give your 16-year-old self?

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Why obesity is not your fault

Why obesity is not your fault

Kath Read. Photography by Alana Landsberry.

Scientists are discovering just how hard our bodies fight to keep fat, shedding new light on why it is so hard to lose weight, writes Jordan Baker.

Kath Read has been fat since she was a kid and, for the past 30 years, she has been picked on for it every day.

She has been spat upon, pushed and abused. She’s had rubbish thrown at her from cars.

“Just going about my daily business, there’s always someone who thinks it’s okay to point and nudge,” she says.

“Not just kids, but women in business suits push me on a train and say, ‘Get out of the way, you fat b—-‘.”

Related: Can I eat carbs?

She’s tried every diet, pill and potion. She’s suffered bulimia. She’s seen doctors, dietitians, nutritionists. She’s exercised.

Her weight has oscillated wildly, but the kilos always come back and, as a result, Kath has spent the best part of 40 years feeling like “the most worthless person on the planet”.

She has tried to kill herself several times, figuring there was no point in living if she had to live fat.

Many Australians can relate to Kath Read. Statistics released last year show 61 per cent of adults are overweight and one in four is obese.

Governments are urging people to slim down and many are desperately trying. In 2010-11, Australians spent $789.6 million on weight-loss programs, low-calorie products, dietary supplements, low-fat cookbooks and even surgery.

Yet, both personally and as a community, we are fighting a losing battle. Not only are obesity rates rising, but statistics show that the majority of people who lose weight put it on again, plus more.

According to conventional wisdom, losing weight should be simple for those with enough willpower — just consume less energy than you expend, or eat less and exercise more. Following that logic, those who fail are lazy or gluttonous.

Yet, as Kath Read already knew and experts are beginning to learn, losing weight and keeping it off is far more difficult than that. It requires not only relentless discipline, but an almost unwinnable fight against our own bodies.

When we gaze enviously at naturally skinny people, we should remember that, a couple of thousand years ago, they would have been gazing enviously at us.

In the days when humans were scrounging for their next meal, the genetic pathways that helped some people hang onto fat were key to survival.

Professor Louise Baur, a specialist in paediatric obesity at the University of Sydney, says up to 70 percent of variation in body size is determined by genetics.

Not one gene, but hundreds of them, governing everything from whether cells prefer carbohydrate or fat as fuel, to the way taste works or how the stomach tells the brain it’s hungry.

“If we only had one pathway that determined what our body weight was and whether we stored fat, the human species would not have survived,” she says.

Nevertheless, obesity only became a widespread problem in the late 20th century, when food became cheap, accessible and processed.

This provided the environment for people who already had a genetic bent towards obesity to start tipping the scales in numbers we’ve never seen before.

“We’ve had massive changes to the food environment in the past three decades and genetically vulnerable people in particular are responding,” says Professor Baur.

The fight against hormones and genetics is tough enough, but at least that’s a private battle. For many, living in a world that seems to unashamedly discriminate against fat people is the most difficult thing about being obese.

Studies have shown overweight people earn less, are less likely to be promoted and are more likely to be sacked. In the United States, they are less likely to be accepted into college.

In pictures: What’s wrong with plus-size bodies anyway?

At 35, Kath decided to stop worrying about her weight. She couldn’t take the emotional roller-coaster and her body had been through too much, so she quit dieting and embraced life. “I can’t express the difference,” she says.

“I spent the first 35 years of my life waiting until I was thin. Now, nothing stops me. I have so much more confidence. My life is joyful.

“People still make those comments, but what I’ve realised is that other people’s crappy behaviour is not my burden to carry. It doesn’t measure my worth. I’m not going to let anyone else stop me from living my life.”

Read more of this story in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Have you struggled with your weight? Share your story below.

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for only $69.95 and receive 12 issues of Woman’s Day for free.

Video: Obesity linked to where you live

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Chrissie Swan: I’m not ashamed of my size

Chrissie Swan: I'm not ashamed of my size

Like more than half the Australian population, Chrissie Swan is overweight. Unlike most of us, she’s not ashamed of it.

Chrissie — who found fame on Big Brother in 2003 and went on to host morning show The Circle before she quit in December 2011 — has never let her size hold her back. Her attitude is inspiring.

“I never bought into that, ‘I am fat, and therefore I am bad’ way of thinking,” she tells the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly, out today.

Chrissie started dieting when she was 10 years old and has been on diets her whole life — even as a child, when she didn’t need to be.

Related: Andrew Ettingshausen – Why I cheated on my wife

Chrissie believes this set her up for a fractious relationship with food. Yet now, after almost 30 years, Chrissie says she has come to terms with her size and is happy.

It may have caused her unhappiness in the past, but she has never let it hold her back or define her as a person.

“To me, it was always just weight,” she says. “It’s quite popular now, television shows like The Biggest Loser and all that stuff. They weep and say how ashamed they are and they are terrible people [for being overweight]. Why can’t it just be kilos?

“It’s shaming fat people into thinking their heart’s about to explode, their legs are about to be cut off due to diabetes. They’ll never conceive a child, they’ll never get married, they’ll never find love, they’ll never get the job they want.”

Chrissie — who has two sons, Leo, three, and nine-month-old Kit — is especially upset at the messages conveyed to children, that there is something wrong with them and they ought to be ashamed if they are chubby.

“We can’t say fat people are bad, we can’t have them crawl through mud pits on national television and have skinny people yelling at them, saying, ‘How does it feel?’ Because kids see that and they go, ‘Okay, it’s cool to scream abuse and belittle a fat person. I’ll do that next time I see Billy in the playground.’

“The responsibility is on parents to try to set up a healthy relationship with food and exercise, right from the get go.”

In 2010, Chrissie became an ambassador for Jenny Craig, signing up to lose 40kg before trying for a second baby. She lost 20 and fell pregnant easily, but won’t sign up again.

“I actually don’t think the answer is in a pre-packaged microwave meal, but again, you don’t know until you have a crack,” she says.

“For me, the whole time was about stopping the weight gain, which was just going nuts, and learning about eating because when you are overweight, you actually don’t eat that much. I just didn’t eat, I wasn’t eating almost anything.”

Now, Chrissie is a size 22 and happy. She can’t escape wagging tongues — she was photographed without her knowledge at the beach in a swimsuit with her family.

Yet, as she wrote in her Sunday Life column, she refuses to feel ashamed.

“Life as an overweight woman is an exercise in apology,” she wrote. “You always feel like you have to say sorry for your presence. That’s what those sad eyes on the awkward size-18 waitress are saying, ‘Sorry you have to see me.’

“Ordering a full-cream flat white is often met with judgemental eyes, yet people at their ‘goal weight’ do it every day of the week. So I do it, too. I’m not ashamed any more.”

In pictures: What’s wrong with plus-size bodies anyway?

Weight, she believes, brings its own benefits. “Fat people are different to thin people,” she says.

“When you are overweight, that’s the first thing everybody sees, so you do have to work harder. You have to be good at something else. I’ve had to get to know people quickly and be interested in them, and all that sort of stuff.

“Our personality muscles I think are stronger because of that.”

Read more of this story in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Have you battled with your weight? Share your story below.

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for only $69.95 and receive 12 issues of Woman’s Day for free.

Video: Plus-sized models on show

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Michael Bublé’s marriage secrets

Michael Bublé's marriage secrets

They are one of the hottest newlywed couples around, but even Michael Bublé and his wife of one year Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre need a little help keeping the spark alive.

The pair have spent a lot of time apart recently due to Bublé’s demanding work schedule, but he says the pair have a secret to their romance.

“A lot of Skype dates,” he told Entertainment Tonight Canada. “I miss her, though. So it’s just been nuts. We’ve been going back and forth.”

The pair, who celebrated their first wedding anniversary in March, are obviously romantics at heart and gave each other heartfelt gifts to mark the occasion.

True to his Canadian crooner style, Bublé recorded his wife a song and video.

His 25-year-old Argentine actress wife, on the other hand, really “shocked” him with her gift.

It was a special book that contained “every note, every love note, every ticket – everything we’ve done,” Bublé explained.

“She saved everything. It was very sweet.”

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Prince William: ‘I’m sad my mum will never meet Kate’

Prince William: 'I'm sad my mum will never meet Kate'

One year on from the royal wedding, Prince William has spoken about the happiest and the hardest day of his life.

Opening up to ABC journalist Katie Couric, the Duke of Cambridge spoke about the fact that his mother, Princess Diana was not present the day he married Kate Middleton.

In his first interview on the subject, the Prince detailed his sadness that his mother would never get to meet his wife, now Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge, and said he prepared himself emotionally before the big day.

“It was very difficult. I had prepared myself beforehand so that I was sort of mentally prepared, I didn’t want any wobbling lips going on,” he said.

Watch the interview with Prince William in the video player above.

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Book Review: ‘A Guide for the Advanced Soul’ by Susan Haywood

The premise of the book is to help with motivation and positive thinking with each page having an inspirational quote or saying.
A Guide for the Advanced Soul

A Guide for the Advanced Soul by Susan Haywood, Harper Collins, $22.99.

My favourite book of all time is A Guide for the Advanced Soul. It was given to me by my older sister Toni before the 1990 Commonwealth Games to help me get through my first major swimming meet.

The premise of the book is to help with motivation and positive thinking with each page having an inspirational quote or saying.

After performing well at that competition, it then became a superstition that the book had to be packed in my suitcase for every swim meet.

Since retiring, the book continues to be a great source of inspiration and guidance.

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Book Review: ‘The Witness’ by Nora Roberts

An enthralling read about how one moment can change your life forever.
The Witness

The Witness by Nora Roberts, Piatkus Fiction. $32.99

Elizabeth just wanted to be like the other girls, she wanted to have fun and not be restricted by her controlling mother’s rules.

One night, defying her mother’s wishes she went out for a night on the town.

After falling for a seductive man, Elizabeth and her friend make a blurred decision to spend the night at the man’s house.

This decision has frightening consequences. After witnessing a shocking murder Elizabeth must run and hide and never be found.

An enthralling read about how one moment can change your life forever.

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Book Review: ‘Great Australian Pubs’ by Lee Mylne

Travel journalist Lee Mylne has done an impressive job with this guidebook combining practical information (including full accommodation pricing), with personal reviews and whimsical historical tales.
Great Australian Pubs

Great Australian Pubs by Lee Mylne, Explore Australia, $34.95

Every country town has one and while many are drenched in history, these days – thankfully – the large majority boast modern-day amenities and fabulous tucker.

Travel journalist Lee Mylne has done an impressive job with this guidebook combining practical information (including full accommodation pricing), with personal reviews and whimsical historical tales.

Colour photos of every pub reviewed complete the picture.

All you need to do now is jump in the car and start your road trip.

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Book Review: ‘Barry And The Fairies of Miller Street’ by Barry Dickins & Jenny Lee

Set in an idyllic 1957 Melbourne of fruiterers where babies are weighed on the grocery scales, Dickins delights an honorary swearing in to the diminutive Fairyland in this fun adult novel.
Barry And The Fairies of Miller Street

Barry And The Fairies of Miller Street by Barry Dickins & Jenny Lee, Hardie Grant, $24.95

“Where’s Pop?” asks Barry, six and three quarters, of no-nonsense Nan, missing sharing a room with his grandpa who listens to the dog races and fills out the form guides at night.

“Your grandfather’s gone,” replies Nan, who cuts the thickest bread for toast and boils the tastiest ever eggs in the world. “I know, but when’s he coming back?” persists the wee lad.

Set in an idyllic 1957 Melbourne of fruiterers where babies are weighed on the grocery scales and magpies land “black and whitely” on the sill at 22 Miller Street, Dickins delights with games of marbles and honorary swearing in to the diminutive Fairyland in this fun adult novel which has more than a hint of the inner child about it.

Similarities to Lewis Carroll’s whimsical Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland begin with the Diminishing Pole and end with the Expansion Fork but author, artist, poet and playwright Dickins adds a gritty dollop of pathos, as frogmarching developers, with dastardly plans for a shopping mall and one thousand parking spaces advance on the world’s flattest city.

Watch out also for the author’s spidery illustrations, which take on an extraordinary life all of their own.

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Book Review: ‘The Book of Madness and Cures’ by Regina O’Melveny

Four hundred years may separate the fictional life of thirty-something Dr Gabriella Mondini, as she battles discrimination in Venice, circa 1590, as a woman physician, and equality today.
The Book of Madness and Cures

The Book of Madness and Cures by Regina O’Melveny, John Murray (Hachette), $29.99

Four hundred years may separate the fictional life of thirty-something Dr Gabriella Mondini, as she battles discrimination in Venice, circa 1590, as a woman physician, and equality today, but some delightful aspects never change in this invigoratingly off-the-wall novel.

When her doctor father and co-compiler of an encyclopaedia of illness, “The Book of Diseases,” fails to come home, plucky Gabi sets off across Europe to find him.

At a time when midwives were condemned as witches, the progressive female doctor uses poultices – and dollops of good old medieval lateral thinking – to treat maladies such as “Lapsus,” (where a woman forgets her place of origin and longs for the world at large).

And when attending “anatomy” for students, at which musicians play a lute and a viol in the amphitheatre alongside the cadaver, it’s tempting to see our Renaissance doc scrubbed up at Seattle Grace (the hospital setting of TV series Grey’s Anatomy), rock classics blaring in surgery!

An unexpectedly enjoyable read.

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