Do you know someone who spends their days and nights caring selflessly for a loved one who needs their constant help? Isn’t it time Australian carers got something back?
When her fiancé suffered a debilitating brain tumour, Tania Hayes became his full-time carer. Here she shares her story and explains why she’s getting behind our Carer of the Year competition…
Tania Hayes’ life as a carer began when her fiancé Warren suffered a brain tumour in 1997. The tennis ball sized tumour was tangled around Warren’s brain stem and the operation to remove it left him with severe disabilities, including paralysis of his right side, loss of hearing in his left ear and loss of swallowing reflexes and facial and eye functions.
But the easy option — to walk away — never occurred to Tania, who married Warren and became his full-time carer.
Since meeting her last year in our Make My Day pages, when we treated her to a makeover, Tania has won a prestigious prize for being a full-time carer, and published her experiences in a book. She is now lending her support to the first Woman’s Day Carer of the Year Awards.
“I am excited and proud to be supporting the Woman’s Day Carer of the Year Awards,” says Tania, author of Love Has No Limits. “This award is a great way to acknowledge the unsung heroes in our society.
“Carers in Australia rarely receive the recognition they deserve for the important role they play, silently sacrificing their lives to give their loved ones a life worth living. That’s why it’s great to see Woman’s Day being proud to get behind carers and acknowledge the important role these special people play.”
Today the happy couple have a two-year-old son Joshua. But with a combined income of Warren’s disability pension and Tania’s carer allowance totalling just $23,000 a year, Tania knows how important it is to acknowledge the work that she and her fellow 2.6 million carers in Australia do every day.
“Speak to any carer and they’ll tell you they love what they do. But we should remember that carers save the Government something like $30.5billion a year. If we could just increase the carer pension, that would help reward them. As it stands, most carers can barely pay their bills. They certainly can’t afford to go out and enjoy a bit of life. It’s as if they’re being punished for being selfless.”
Tania met Warren when she was just 19. Falling in love on their first date they were the perfect couple and Warren proposed on Valentine’s Day three years later.
“All we could talk about was our beautiful future,” Tania says. “Warren said he wanted to work seven days a week so he could set us up in a home to raise a family. He spoiled me, he was my protector.”
But after his operation, it was Tania who needed to be there for Warren. Now, each day, Tania lifts his 100kg frame out of bed and into his chair. Washing, feeding, toileting, dressing and administering his medication all fall to Tania, plus helping him with his exercises which include stretching and walking with the assistance of an overhead harness device.
Warren, 40, admits it hurts when people misjudge him.
“Just because my body doesn’t work any more, doesn’t mean mentally I’m not the same person,” he says. “It’s frustrating for me, because I remember how I was — so fit and active.”
Happily, Tania and Warren still make time to enjoy romance.
“We try and go out for dinner often. But we’ll also do simple things like cuddling on the couch. Warren spends most of his days in a chair that supports him, but every couple of weeks I’ll say, ‘Come over here and sit on the lounge with me. Come and sit with me and be normal.’ Because he is normal. Simple things like a cuddle on the couch mean the world to us.”
$2000 cash
One night’s accommodation for the winner and a guest in the Four Points by Sheraton at Darling Harbour in Sydney, including breakfast
Return flights for two to Sydney and airport transfers (if required)
A Woman’s Day pamper package including a beauty treatment of choice to the value of $300
Plus, 4 runners-up win a $100 pamper package.
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