Pregnant with their third child, Abbey and Robert Ahern were dealt the shocking blow that their unborn daughter, who they later named Annie, was “incompatible with life” – three words no parent ever wants to hear.
Baby Annie was diagnosed with a fatal neural tube defect called anencephaly, a condition that meant her brain and upper part of her skull would never properly develop.
According to Better Health Victoria, babies with anencephaly will either be stillborn or they die soon after birth.
“The words ’incompatible with life’ just sucked the air right out of my lungs. I knew what he was saying, but I couldn’t really apply it to us or to our baby,” Annie wrote in a long-form piece for Good Housekeeping.
The now-mum-of-three healthy girls goes on to say that women in her position would have a long-term abortion, but she and her husband Robert decided against it.
After liaising with doctors and discovering that their little girl, who they named Annie as it means ‘Grace’, wouldn’t be in pain, Abbey and Robert wanted to spend at least a moment with their darling Annie.
“We knew she had a purpose,” Abbey wrote. “Even though she was not made for this world,” Abbey says. “We wanted a few precious memories with our girl. No-one tried to change our minds.”
It was also during one of their doctor’s appointments, discussing their options of what to do next, that Abbey and Robert enquired about child organ donation – a procedure that had never been performed in their home state of Oklahoma in the US.
Once the couple decided that they would be willing to donate Annie’s organs after her passing, a team of specialists came together to plan what would need to happen for the procedure to be successful with the limited time they had.
Although, despite all of their best efforts, once Annie was born, her organs weren’t viable for transplant because her oxygen levels had dropped for too long during the almost-15 hours that she was alive.
“They were able to donate her heart valves for recipients and many of her organs for research purposes,” Annie wrote.
“Honestly, it took me a while to come to terms with that.”
“I will never know the number of lives she was able to save — because not only were her organs donated, but the protocol was also put in place for other infants to donate their organs.”
“Once I started thinking that way, I had peace.”
“I’m so grateful for that. If she had to die, I’m so glad it was in my arms.”
“She lived a beautiful and incredible 14 hours and 58 minutes. She spent her entire life surrounded by love, joy and peace.”
“There was no sorrow, even when she passed away.”
Hero image: Sarah Libby Photography.
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