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Wedding jitters

Five years ago I met a wonderful man who literally swept me off my feet, and in a matter of months we were engaged to be married. It was the most wonderful and busy time of my life. Every waking moment was spent organising the wedding, which was going to be a large “event” with many interstate and international guests.

Finally the night before the wedding, my fiancé and I had our final goodbye kiss and he headed off to stay with his family and I went to stay the night with my best friend and matron of honor, Kate.

Looking back I was extremely tired and full of nervous energy about the next day’s celebrations. Kate and I shared two bottles of champagne which helped me unwind and relax. We chatted about all our old escapades, broken relationships and the wonderful times we’d shared in the past.

As we were nearing the end of the second bottle, and both starting to feel the affects of the alcohol, Kate began to weep. I immediately went to her and comforted her, while asking what was wrong.

Through her muffled tears, Kate explained she’d always had a secret crush on me. Even though we both had boyfriends in the past, her heart always belonged to me. She looked at me with so much pain in her eyes, my heart sank.

Without any thought, we shared a passionate lingering kiss. I’ve never felt such emotion and longing from a kiss. Our loving kissing continued for several minutes until the realisation of what was actually happening dawned on me.

I was getting married the next day to my soul mate, and I was sitting there kissing my matron of honour! My head began to swirl with guilt, confusion and too much champagne.

I squeezed her hands tightly, kissed her forehead and walked to my bedroom, closing the door behind me and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

In the morning, I realised I was very much in love with my husband-to-be. With the excitement and rush of the wedding morning, I didn’t get to speak to my matron of honour alone that day.

As with most wedding days, much of the formalities are now a bit of a blur. However I distinctly remember walking down the isle with my father. As I walked towards my husband-to-be, I caught a glimpse of Kate and the immense pain in her eyes. For a split second I wanted to stop the entire wedding and hold her again. Luckily I pulled myself together and made it through the wedding ceremony.

To this day, my new husband has no idea about the kisses I shared with my matron of honour. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I manage to put down the night’s activities to wedding jitters.

Unfortunately, after numerous attempts to stay in touch, I haven’t heard from my matron of honour since my wedding day.

Kate, I miss you…

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