Are you in the midst of a sex drought?
Whether you’ve been in a long-term relationship or you’re dating, we’ve got just the thing to get those sexual sparks flying!
1. Take turns
If you feel like you’re saying or hearing the phrase “sorry, not tonight honey,” more times that you can count, it may be time to start taking turns initiating sex.
Sex helps you connect with your partner and release tension.
When one person is constantly being rejected, resentment can build between you, hindering other areas of your life.
Agreeing to alternate initiation takes the pressure off the person always doing the asking and helps you both to communicate.
2. Pencil it in
Forget what you think about sex being spontaneous, passionate and unplanned.
If it happens in the spur of the moment, that’s great!
But usually, life isn’t like the movies.
With kids, family, work, chores and daily commitments, it’s easy to feel too tired or disinterested in sex by bedtime.
Many sex therapists believe that scheduling in a time to be intimate can help bring the spark back.
Try to pick a day when you both have some extra time and treat it like you would any other appointment.
Pre-planning can actually work wonders. (Image: Getty)
3. Get tied up
There’s a reason Fifty Shades of Grey did so well.
Women across the world were tantalised by the character Christian Grey and his props in the bedroom.
Many women were excited by bold sexual fantasies involving bondage and play that they might not have had otherwise.
Trying bondage with your partner doesn’t have to be scary.
It involves consensually tying up or restraining your partner for erotic stimulation.
This could be as simple as buying a pair of fluffy handcuffs or using a silk scarf.
But make sure to be open with your partner about what you like, and agree on a safe word to use if you want to stop so things don’t get out of hand.
Nothing wrong with getting adventurous. (Image: Getty)
4. Intimacy isn’t just sex
Sex helps couples maintain intimacy throughout a relationship but it isn’t the only act that can bring you closer together.
If you’re feeling lacklustre about your sex life but nervous about trying anything too extreme, focus on simply adding more affection into your relationship.
Hold your partner’s hand, cuddle in the nude, massage each other or have a bath together.
Spending one-on-one time with your partner will eventually heat things up.
It doesn’t always have to be about sex. (Image: Getty)
5. Toys are us
Many people believe sex toys are for solo pleasure, but there are lots out there that specifically cater for partner use.
Vibrators can be used on both parties during sex, or another option is a penis ring that stimulates the female while keeping the man erect for longer.
If you want to take a weekend to explore using toys with your partner, Lovehoney.com.au has a range of kits with everything you’ll need to spice things up in the bedroom.
Sex toys can go a long way for you AND your partner. (Image: Getty)
6. Play dress up
Costumes aren’t just for Halloween, they’re a great way to take your sex life from drab to fab.
Have a conversation with your partner about their fantasies.
Perhaps your man dreams of a sexy nurse tending to his “wounds”. Throwing on a little outfit might send him into overdrive!
You could also take the roleplay out of the bedroom by changing your look and pretending to be perfect strangers meeting in a bar.
It’s exciting, fun and a guaranteed first date that will end up in bed!
Fantasies aren’t for nothing… (Image: Getty)
7. Vitamin D
Vitamin D is absorbed by your body when you spend time in the sun.
It boosts your mood, maintains healthy bones, and supports your immune, brain and nervous systems, while also regulating your insulin.
But better yet, studies have shown that vitamin D can help you get in the mood for a night of passion.
Spending at least 10 minutes in the sun, three times a week, allows your body to produce sufficient vitamin D that will have you feeling frisky in no time.
Getting plenty of Vitamin C helps more than you might think. (Image: Getty)
8. Location, location, location
The boudoir isn’t the only place where you can get busy.
And you don’t need to risk getting caught out in public either!
Try using other rooms at home for a change – the kitchen counter, the couch, on top of the dryer or in the shower, anything goes!
Not only does it add a bit of excitement back into your sex life, but it encourages you to mix up the positions and get creative!
Just make sure the doors are locked and the shades are drawn!
Nothing like a little creativity when it comes to heating things up. (Image: Getty)
9. Morning mood
Don’t wait until you’re tired and cranky after a long day.
Instead, wake your partner up in the morning and make your sexual intention clear.
Maybe start the foreplay to get you both in the mood and tell your husband that he’ll have to wait until he gets home to finish the job.
That way you’re both revved up and anticipating that sexy something occurring that night.
Rise and grind! (Image: Getty)
10. What’s on the menu?
Just like food, we all have our favourite sexual delicacies.
One way of reinstating the lines of communication with your partner is to both write a sex ‘menu’.
It’s a clear way of telling your partner what you like, and what you’d like to do.
It provides guidelines in an open, consensual and positive way.
A glass of red with that wouldn’t go amiss. (Image: Getty)
11. Supplement your sex life
Remember when you were in your 20s and you wanted to get down and dirty as often as possible?
As we age, women often experience a decrease in libido and while there are many factors that influence your sex drive, there are herbal remedies that can help you get in the mood to be rude.
If you’re on antidepressants, which often make it hard to orgasm or feel arousal, 3mg of the native Peruvian plant mace each day may help boost your libido.
It has no side effects and can increase your energy levels too!
Tribulus, a small leady plant with a yellow flower, has been used in traditional Chinese medicine and Indian Ayurveda medicine to help boost the sex drive of post-menopausal women.
One study showed that 67 per cent of women with low libidos experienced increased sexual desire after taking 500-1500mg for 90 days.
Some other science-backed libido boosters are Korean red gingseng and red clover.
Some supplements can help you get in the mood. (Image: Getty)
