Ever since Jenny Ware and Lynne Boyd met they have been inseparable.
“We were walking back to the train station and she said ‘this is the first time I have laughed since Colin died’,” Lynne says, when she and Jenny meet Woman’s Day.
Jenny agrees. “My world changed from that day and now Lynne is unable to get rid of me!” she jokes.
Six years and lots of laughs and tears later, the pair have spent hours bonding over their shared experience of losing their life partners, who both served in the armed services.
Jenny’s husband of 51 years, Colin, served in the Australian Navy for 20 years, while Lynne’s husband Arthur ‘Chicka’ Boyd, fought in Vietnam in the sixties.
The women met at a Families of Veterans Guild get-together.
Lynne met Chicka through mutual friends in 1966 when she was just 17 and he was the only one out of his friend group called up to serve in Vietnam.
MARRIED LIFE
Chicka was one of 15,300 Australian conscripts sent to the war.
“He always said, it’s the only bloody lottery I’ve ever won,” Lynne shares.
Many veterans have spoken about the brutal and traumatic experiences of the war, but just as devastating was how they were treated when they returned home.
“They were ostracised and so Chicka didn’t mention it to anyone until years later,” says Lynne.
But there were happy times amid the sad ones.
“Once Chicka got back, we got married in December 1969. He said we’d always stay together and we did for 35 years,” says Lynne.
“The only time we were apart was when I went into hospital to have our children and when he went into hospital.”
Chicka passed away from oesophageal cancer in March 2005, believed to be caused by exposure to Agent Orange, a chemical herbicide used by the US military in the Vietnam War.
Like many former soldiers, he also suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
“He had dreams and would scream in the night,” Lynne shares.
Colin enlisted in the Australian Navy when he was 16 years old, ready to serve his country.
He served in the Australian Navy for over 20 years, often working in the confines of a submarine for up to nine months at a time.
After retiring as a Chief Petty Office Radio Supervisor, Colin worked for the government until he retired in his early sixties.
Like many navy wives, Jenny had limited support raising her two children while he was serving.
“I coached my son’s soccer team for two years because none of the other dads put their hands up,” she says.
“Sea time for submariners back then was very lengthy, and he spent more time at sea than at home.
LIFELONG FRIENDS
Without any grandchildren of her own, Jenny relishes at the opportunity to spend quality time with Lynne’s.
“My two grandchildren have adopted her,” explains Lynne, who says they even have a special nickname for her – ‘Jenny War Widow’.
“They make me feel like part of the family,” Jenny laughs.
Without the love and support of each other, Lynne and Jenny, who both live in Sydney’s west, both agree that life would not be as fun. And having a giggle together, as well as talking about their pasts, helps them heal.
“Jenny and I have built a strong friendship over the last six years, that will go on forever,” says Lynne, and Jenny agrees.
“I don’t think we would have survived without each other,” adds Lynne.
October 19 is National War Widows Day. For more information visit the Families of Veterans Guild website.
