Taking a deep breath, I told the doctor about my little problem.
“Whenever I cough or sneeze, my bladder leaks a bit,” I said.
He nodded. “Hmm, that’ll be stress incontinence,” he said.
Turned out it was quite common for women around my age, 53. I’d suffered it more and more recently so I could never be too far from a loo in case I had an accident.
I was referred to a gynaecologist, Dr Malcolm Catt, who assured me that if I had a simple procedure, I wouldn’t suffer any more leaks.
I went to North Gosford Private Hospital for the surgery.
“It was very successful,” Dr Catt told me when I came round afterwards.
But I was in agony. I couldn’t pee no matter how hard I tried, so I was fitted with a catheter.
I loved living an active and interesting life.
Days later, I was finally able to pass a minimal amount when I went to the toilet so I was sent home. But whenever I went, it felt like my bladder wasn’t emptying.
It’ll sort itself out once I’ve healed, I told myself.
Over the following weeks it wasn’t just problems ‘down there’ I had to worry about. I started getting burning pains in my hips and feet, and standing for long periods left me in agony.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I told my husband, Geoff.
My GP said it was sciatica. I had to carry a special cushion everywhere just to be able to sit down.
Some days the aches were unbearable
I worked in a health food supplement shop and standing up all day was horrendous.
And it wasn’t just that. Since the surgery, having sex was very painful. I was also constipated all of a sudden.
When my doctor told me I’d have to use my hands to apply pressure to my bowel, I was horrified. It was so degrading.
It carried on for years. Doctors were stumped as to how to help me.
Often I suffered terrible depression. Geoff was incredibly supportive, but even he didn’t know what to say to me anymore.
Me and Geoff – he’s been so supportive.
After six years, I had to give up work.
Then, one night I was cooking dinner and listening to the news. There was a woman talking about the pain she’d suffered after having a vaginal mesh implant fitted to help with incontinence.
It was supposed stop any leaks, but it turned out the mesh could cause life-ruining side effects like intense pain, infections, bleeding and painful sex, not to mention even worse incontinence and constipation.
The symptoms sounded exactly like mine. She mentioned thousands of Aussie women had been fitted with these mesh implants without being told of the risks.
Could I be one of them? It seemed like too much of a coincidence.
“I’ve got to see my medical notes,” I told Geoff.
When I read them, my blood ran cold. There, in black and white, it said I’d been implanted with the Gynecare mesh implant, just like the lady on the news. It had been inside my body for nine years and I’d known nothing about it. The surgeon had fitted it without my consent.
I’d trusted him and he’d wrecked my body and my life.
I felt utterly violated.
I had no idea this was the procedure I was having.
Nearly a decade of my life had been destroyed by pain.
I discovered the doctor who’d fitted my mesh had since passed away so I’d never get answers from him.
I found support groups for women who had the mesh implants. Like me, ladies all over Australia were going through hell every day.
Some had needed full hysterectomies as the mesh had eroded into their reproductive system, causing chronic pain and even stopping the organs from functioning properly. One woman’s son had revealed that his mother had been in such agony that she’d taken her own life.
I was desperate to have mine removed, but most doctors refused as it could have become embedded in the vaginal tissue, making it impossible to guarantee getting it all out.
Finally, one surgeon in Melbourne agreed to try. He’d remove the mesh, then insert a strip of muscle from my stomach in its place to support my bladder.
This piece of mesh ruined my life. Credit: Shutterstock.
Within days of having the op I felt better than I had in years
“Your implant had cut through your muscle tissue, which was causing you the nerve pain,” another specialist said.
Later, I heard that 700 women were taking the manufacturers of the Gynecare mesh implant, Johnson & Johnson, to court in a class action for negligence. I instantly knew I wanted to join the fight. We’ll have our cases heard soon.
Removing the mesh eased my pain, but I’ll never get back the years I lost, and I’ll never be the same.
I’m sharing my story to urge anyone who is worried that their mesh implant is causing them health problems to come forward. If you’re in pain, speak out, you deserve to be heard.
For more information, go to www.trans-vaginal-mesh.com
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