I have been with John for 7 years and we have 3 wonderful kids together. Over the past few months I have come to realise that I am not in love with him anymore.
Just recently I told him it was over and deep down I have fallen for someone else. I never thought this would happen to me. I always imagined that John and I would be together forever.
Sadly we have grown apart, and yes we have tried to bring back that flame, he’ s being so good about it all, he wants to take me on a trip, but unfortunately he has made me stop seeing my friend who is the sister of the guy I like – Luke.
Since I haven’t spoken to them I feel really depressed, lonely and it’s breaking my heart. How can I break up with him, so I can be happy again? Our 3 kids love Luke. He talks to them, he actually listens, unlike their father.
What makes all this worse is that my parents are on John’s side. I can’t live in a loveless relationship. I can’t live like this forever, lonely and heartbroken.
At first I thought it was just a phase, so I stayed away from everyone for a week but my heart still wants what it wants. Please tell me how I can get John to understand it just isn’t going to work and I want out?
I’m in love with Luke and staying away from him and his sister is breaking me to pieces as his sister has been my best friend for 12 years. What do I do?
John is the father of your children and will always be in their lives and also yours, so you owe it to them to try and sort things out with John before you get carried away with the romantic notion of being with Luke.
You may not mean to, but you are coming across as thinking only of your happiness, not that of your family – your letter is all about how you can be happy again, how you are breaking in pieces, how lonely and heartbroken you are.
Your children must all be under seven, which is very young and very fragile to be placed second to your desires. It doesn’t matter how good Luke is with them. He isn’t their father and while it can be very tragic and romantic to feel like a star crossed lover, you’re a mother first and you need to live up to that.
Forget about Luke and his sister for the moment and think instead about giving your family life another chance. If it seems hard, give yourself a time period of three or six months at which point you can reassess the future, but only if you can honestly say you’ve tried whole heartedly to sort out the problems in your original relationship. For your children’s sake, even then do not consider going to live with Luke. Put them first and base all your decisions on that.
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