Jody Cahill had always wondered why her mother seemed to hate her so much, but after she received a series of chilling letters from her estranged mother everything became clear.
Jody’s mother revealed that her own father, Jody’s grandfather, had raped her at gunpoint and as a result she became pregnant with Jody.
Jody’s grandfather was also her father.
“She virtually said “it’s about time I told you the truth of who your father was … you and I share the same father”, and I was like “what?” the 38-year-old told Daily Mail.
“I was so in shock and disgusted. That night I tried to jump off a bridge. I didn’t know what to do with it [the news].”
Her mother sent Jody this two page letter revealing the family secret and sending Jody’s life into a downward spin.
“Everything that happened when I was little really made sense to me. She was always in and out of hospital. She only told someone about it about 10 years ago,’ the public relations executive said.
“I just thought she was always mental and the way she treated me, I just couldn’t just understand any of it.
“She threatened to kill me with a gun once. She told the police she had a gun and she was coming for me.
“It must have been horrific for her every day to look at me as a reminder. Everything makes sense now.
“She told me: “Every time I look at you it’s a reminder of what happened, it reminds me of him”.’
Jody’s life spiraled out of control. She soon stopped eating and rapidly lost weight, until eventually she was diagnosed with anorexia.
“I slowly cut down on foods. My friends saw I was getting smaller and smaller… they saw me get to 46 kilos,” Ms Cahill said.
“I made sure I flushed food out of my system with laxatives.
“When I felt empty I felt okay. I could on concentrate on how empty my stomach felt, which is kind of ironic.
“At the worst point, I was about 34 kilos.”
Jody endeavoured to get well with a stint in rehabilitation but when she was released she fell back into her old patterns, she just was not yet strong enough to cope.
Now, Jody is on the road to recovery after another stint in Sydney’s Northside Clinic where doctors have helped to take control of her disease and this time Jody is confident she can beat anorexia.
“Every day is hard. This is first time in five months I haven’t touched anything related to eating disorders. I just want to focus on how I can help. I’m as healed as I can be,” she said.
“It’s all about your mindset. You can have the best doctors and the best friends, but if you don’t hate the anorexia as much as you hate yourself, you won’t beat it.”
Jody is speaking openly about her life in hope that she can help others beat the debilitating condition.
For confidential help, call Lifeline at 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au
If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, contact the Butterfly Foundation on 1800 ED HOPE, or visit www.thebutterflyfoundation.org.au
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
