September 2012
After noticing a lump on my right areola and some puckering in my left breast I booked in to see a doctor.
The doctor dismissed the lump saying it was only a nipple cyst, but I instinctively knew it was sinister and I insisted on a mammogram.
I went for a breast scan and the radiographer was very quiet. Instead of focusing on the breast with the lump, she was spending a lot of time on the puckered left breast.
I could see something strange and when I asked what it was she said she had to wait for the doctor.
Two doctors entered with serious faces and said they’d contacted my GP and I needed a needle biopsy immediately.
Two days later I was diagnosed with cancer.
I’d been hoping my instincts were wrong, but they weren’t.
I was devastated.
It felt like they were telling me I was going to die.
Image courtesy of Jenni Eyles, Styling Curvy facebook page
“Having chemo… you don’t want to be in this chair, check your boobs!”
image courtesy of Jenni Eyles
November, 2012
I had another operation to remove all lymph nodes and my sentinel leader node. During this my team also put a portacath in my chest to feed the chemotherapy into my system.
Still in great pain and healing from multiple surgeries, I started chemo.
The doctors were really positive but I was certain we were just prolonging my life. I honestly thought I was dying and I felt wretched all the time.
Chemo was every three weeks for four rounds, then every week for 12 weeks.
It was surreal because I was just going through the motions, going to appointments and doing what I needed to do, but I was so scared and numb.
I was also so sad that family had to witness this.
No children should ever see their mum go through this. My youngest child would cling to me, but my eldest child pulled away and wouldn’t talk about it.
It was so hard on them.
May, 2013
Chemo was finished – yay
Radiation began – boo
Two months of radiation therapy left me terribly burned. I wasn’t letting it get me down though. I was seeing the silver lining in everything.
I was responding to treatment.
I was spending time with my family.
I was alive.
Radiation therapy
August, 2013
I saw my plastic surgeon and told him I wanted to remove my other breast. There were two reasons for this.
Firstly, with it I only had a 37% chance of being alive in 10 years. Without it that rose to 67% once I had completed my treatment plus 10 years of hormone therapy.
Secondly, I would have a better outcome with reconstruction.
The odds were better if I took it off, and I’d have matching boobs.
When I looked at it, I just saw cancer waiting to happen. Thankfully, he understood my thoughts, and he agreed.
March, 2014
After months of planning we knew I wanted a full reconstruction. Life is short, I was only 42 and I wanted boobs.
It’s a personal choice, with many considerations like recovery time, expense, emotional support, but I knew it was the right choice for me.
In a 12 hour surgery, they removed my right breast, and took my latissimus dorsi from my back and transferred to my chest.
Then they implanted balloons which they slowly stretched out over time.
It was months of excruciating pain; Sleepless, agonising nights where I dreamed of cutting my boobs off with a knife.
No one told me how much it would hurt, but I got through it.
And I don’t regret it for a minute.
image courtesy of Jenni Eyles
October, 2014
We removed the balloons and replaced them with implants. It was such a relief because, although I’m still in pain every day, the pain lessened and they immediately felt like my boobs.
August, 2015
I got some nipples!
They tattooed the aureola in a colour they thought would suit me and then they attached a handmade nipple.
I love my new breasts. Instead of looking down and seeing cancer, I look down and think it was something I went through, but now I have a new lease on life.
When you’re diagnosed it feels as though it’s the end of the world, but it wasn’t a death sentence.
It made me live life more than I ever lived before. I write about my experiences on my blog, Styling Curvy, so I can empower others to live full lives.
I’m a survivor, not a victim.
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