Betrayal made me weak
Jessica Mace, 22, from Sydney, NSW shares her story.
My boyfriend, Archie*, smiled as I kissed him.
“Thanks for checking up on Josie*,” I said.
Josie was a mutual friend who Archie had been helping through a rough patch. His kindness made my heart swell with pride. We were totally in love.
Six months later, one of my girlfriends pulled me aside on a night out.
“You need to speak to Archie,” she whispered. “Something’s happened with him and Josie.”
It couldn’t be true. Archie wouldn’t hurt me like that.
“It’s all lies,” he said, when I confronted him.
I wanted to believe him, but over time he became more and more distant.
“What’s going on with you?” I asked.
He burst into tears.
“I’m so sorry, Jess,” he choked. “The rumours are true.”
He explained he’d slept with Josie several times.
I was so full of rage, I couldn’t look at him.
“Get out,” I spat.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
Afterwards, Archie wouldn’t stop calling me. He begged for forgiveness and even sent me a video of himself playing my favourite song, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, on his guitar.
A few days later, I reluctantly agreed to meet up with him.
“I want to change,” he pleaded. “I don’t even speak to Josie anymore.”
His face was lined with worry and he looked genuinely remorseful. Tears pricked at my eyes.
“I’ll take you back, but you can’t do this to me ever again,” I threatened.
We tried to pick up where we left off, but I struggled to trust him.
When he went out with his mates, I worried that he was talking to girls and when we fought, I always brought up the affair to use against him.
Deep down, staying with him made me feel weak.
After 10 months I’d had enough. I simply couldn’t get past the betrayal.
“We can’t do this anymore,” I told him.
He was distraught, but I stood my ground. He’d hurt me beyond repair.
It took a long time for me to recover, but I’m in a new relationship and slowly learning to trust again.
Being cheated on made me a shadow of the strong, confident woman I thought I was. I won’t let anyone make me feel that weak again.
Office fling
Katrina Bart, 49, from Newcastle, NSW opens up.
As I sat alone in my husband Chris’s office, I was overwhelmed by an uneasy feeling.
I worked for Chris’s company and when he went out, I couldn’t resist the urge to enter.
Look through his emails, a voice whispered in my head.
I couldn’t ignore it and shuffled towards his computer, unsure of what I was looking for.
Chris and I had been married for 16 blissful years. My girlfriends always told me they longed for a relationship like ours.
But as I read through the emails, my stomach lurched.
I’m fooling around with my secretary, he’d bragged to one of his female colleagues.
It was such a cliche.
Chris was my best friend, surely he wouldn’t do this to me.
As I read through the emails, my stomach lurched.
Hurt and confused, I printed off the emails, drove home and threw them at him.
“I didn’t actually do anything,” he insisted.
After that he refused to talk about it, and I was too shattered to fight.
The next morning he apologised.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this marriage,” he vowed.
He still couldn’t admit out loud what he had done.
The betrayal infuriated me but I wasn’t ready to throw away 16 years of my life. More than anything, I needed the answer to just one question: why?
“I don’t know,” he admitted, promising it wouldn’t happen again.
We tried to continue on as if nothing had happened, sleeping in the same bed and occasionally having sex but my heart wasn’t in it. Not only that but I barely slept or ate. I was in turmoil, constantly asking myself why I wasn’t enough for him.
I saw a psychologist and over time rebuilt myself, having reached rock bottom.
“I love you,” Chris said each day.
I knew he meant it, but I was still too hurt to say it back.
It wasn’t until two years after the affair that I finally crawled out of that dark hole and started to feel happy again.
One morning I kissed Chris and said, “I love you”.
Tears filled his eyes as he smiled.
Now four years have passed and we’re more in love than we’ve ever been. Learning to trust and love again was incredibly tough, but we’re stronger because of the pain we’ve battled through.
Bad things happen, but good relationships are worth fighting for.
