A few months ago I moved to the city from a small town. I’d only been here two weeks when I decided to get out and see the nightlife. While I was out, I ran into an old friend who I hadn’t seen in 12 years. He told me that he was married and had a young daughter and was in town for work. We filled each other in on what we’d been doing for the past 12 years and as the night went on he started becoming friendlier.
I knew what his intentions were and even though he was married I’d been infatuated with him since I was 10 so I didn’t put up a fight. I ended up taking him home that night and continued to have an affair with him for two months.
He told me he loved me and that he was going to leave his wife to be with me. We discussed having children and eventually getting married. We were never too safe when it came to being intimate but we discussed what would happen if I fell pregnant before he and his wife separated.
After our wonderful two months together he was being transferred again for work. We spoke every day and he even planned how he was going to tell his wife. Then one day, he e-mailed me saying he couldn’t go through with it for risk of losing his daughter. That he needed some time to sort it all out. Needless to say, he broke my heart.
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. He had asked me to promise I would tell him if this happened. I’m now seven weeks pregnant and I’m going to have my child. I have not told this man and I plan never to tell him. I don’t see the point in putting him back in that position and making things harder on him. He loves his daughter too much and I don’t want him to lose her.
I know that my child will ask about its father one day and when that happens I don’t know what I’ll say. Some of my friends have asked why I would deprive my child of the love its father would give, but as far as I’m concerned, my child doesn’t know of the love it will be missing. His daughter will. And that wouldn’t be fair on her or him.
Image: Getty. Picture posed by model.
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