My practical joke nearly killed my flatmate!

My flatmate Joseph and I were in the middle of a practical joke war, but it was all done in fun. He would subscribe to embarrassing magazines in my name, I would get him back by bathing his Maltese terrier in food dye. He then put a fake plastic spider under the visor of my car (luckily I wasn’t driving when I pulled it down), so I responded by filling his glovebox with awful boy band CDs the night before he took a road trip to Sydney with his mates (and I took out all his good CDs, of course!) But when he announced over the loudspeaker at the department store where we both worked that “Kerry in women’s shoes” (that’s me) needed a date for her sister’s wedding, I knew it was time for Joseph to pay!

I didn’t know what to do that could possibly equal the mortification he had caused me, so I decided to just do a whole lot of little things that would make his life miserable. I had no idea just how miserable I was going to make him!

Joseph hated cooking and was into preparing one big pot of food on the weekend and freezing portions of it to last him the week. I knew that Joseph hated cinnamon, so one day I took a shaker and sprinkled it liberally into the pot on the stove. Joseph dished it up and froze it, none the wiser. A few hours later, it was time for dinner. I could barely contain my laughter as I waited for Joseph to eat something.

Finally, he took out a portion of his latest concoction and put it in the microwave. I waited in the kitchen, pretending I was doing something, but really just wanting to be there when Joseph realised how awful his food was! In the end, it was lucky I was so eager. Joseph took one bite and I instantly saw that his reaction was not one of disgust, but panic. He hoarsely instructed me to call an ambulance and I realised with dread that it wasn’t that Joseph didn’t like cinnamon — it could kill him!

Amazingly, Joseph never twigged that I had spiked his food. He thought it had been added to a packet mix he’d bought by mistake and actually ended up suing for quite a lot of money. To this day, Joseph has never found out that I nearly killed him with my practical joke.