My jealousy nearly ruined a friendship

Several years ago, when I was single, I had just enough money each payday to pay my rent, bills and buy food. A friend of mine, Jill, was doing really well in her job and I was envious of the income she was earning compared to my measly amount. The fact that she was several years younger than me and had been able to buy a home before I could also irritated me.

One day Jill phoned to ask if I wanted to join her and a group of friends on a weekend away. I barely had enough money but decided to go anyway. When we were away, Jill and her friends seemed to have heaps of money spare to buy food and alcohol, while I just scraped by, buying as little food as possible. There was no way I could afford any alcohol. I secretly seethed at Jill and her friends spending frivolously in front of me.

One afternoon we all went down to the beach for a swim and after lazing in the sun for awhile I decided to return to the house. Before we had left for the beach, Jill had hidden her purse in a cushion. On my return, as I was alone, jealousy overcame me and I took out Jill’s purse to see how much money she had on her. My jealousy turned to horror when I tried to put the purse back in its hiding spot and the zip on the cushion broke. I frantically tried to come up with a reason why I had gone to her purse but had no justifiable reason.

When they came back and Jill found the zip broken, they blamed it on another girl in the group. I played innocent and acted surprised at the cushion zip being busted. I’ll never know if Jill knew it was me who was snooping. I felt Jill suspected it could have been me. I guess I knew then I had a true friend, as she never accused me or mentioned a word about it afterwards.

I was sorry I felt so jealous that I jeopardised our friendship. I was lucky to save face. Jill and I are still friends today. I learnt my lesson and have never snooped on a friend since.