I have a confession to make. My name is Charlie and I currently manage a theatre restaurant in Melbourne. Three years ago I went to the Easter Show in Sydney with my friends Ben and Damien. It was there I first saw this gorgeous girl behind the counter as I was buying the Big Lebowski showbag.
I remember looking like a dag in my Weezer T-shirt and windswept hair, but I still did my best to make an impression with, “Can I just get this please?” Charming, I know! But to no avail.
I was ready to move on when I noticed she had a small tattoo of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh on her exposed waist. It was then so hard to curb my enthusiasm, I stuttered, “I like Winnie the Pooh too.” She replied “I just like Eeyore. Well, I like donkeys.” She told me that the only reason she worked at the Easter Show was so she could go and feed the donkeys in her lunch break. This is when I put it all on the line and made the decision to tell her, “I have a pet donkey.”
I didn’t. I lied. I just wanted to keep talking to her! A look of amazement came over her face and she was just about to respond when the disgruntled customer behind me pushed me aside and demanded to be served. What do I do now? I thought.
I wrote down my name, number and a note: ‘Call me if you want to meet my pet donkey.’ I handed it to her over the counter and walked away.
Sure enough I received a call from the girl later that night after her shift had ended. We had a good chat, but she wasn’t convinced and wanted to meet my donkey, whom I had imaginatively named Ed. She had a day off in two days, so she was going to come over and see Ed then.
I pretty much had two days to get myself a donkey. And where better than the Easter Show animal auctions? At the crack of dawn the next morning, I was off to buy one. Unsurprisingly, not many people want to buy donkeys early in the morning, so I got one for only a couple of hundred dollars — a small price to pay for love! I picked a donkey that was obviously a male, to suit the name Ed. He was only two years old and seemed quite a bit larger than the others. I really liked the cute little bouffant tuft of hair on his head! So it was done. I was surprised how easy it was to buy a donkey.
I shall sum up my story now … my dream girl met my donkey, we hit it off and had lots in common: we both like Alan Partridge, we both like the TV show Lost and we both dislike Nickleback. We’ve fallen in love and are now engaged to be married in November. We still have Ed as our pet and he is set to carry the ring down the aisle at our wedding.
But to this day my fiancée still doesn’t know that I originally didn’t have a pet donkey. And yes, I realise my actions might be considered by some as conniving, but I am quite proud of what I have done and urge others to do what their heart tells them.
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