We were young and had what others perceived as the perfect relationship. Within 18 months of meeting, Tom and I married. Both of us had great careers, we’d purchased our own home and on the outside, everything looked perfect. Inside, things were so much different.
I was diagnosed with depression after Tom and I had been married for 12 months. The physiologist advised that it was due to my husband’s “smothering” within our relationship. While a lot of women would have doted on his affections, I found them to be overbearing and intrusive; his phone calls to me would sometimes reach 10 a day and he had to know my entire day’s schedule in advance.
As time went on, we continued our happy façade but things were slowly spiralling downhill. I reached a point where I couldn’t even stand Tom kissing me; I would cringe. Even as it became obvious to him that my love towards him had changed, he continued to act as though nothing was wrong, for the sake of his family circle.
As time went on, my depression worsened and my medication was increased. I was at the point of despair; I even tried to take my own life one evening. It was at this point of my life that I realised I didn’t want to be married any longer but I couldn’t bring myself to leave, so I started creating scenarios which I could use against Tom in order for him to end our marriage.
Finally, I decided that I would test Tom’s fidelity towards me. I created an anonymous e-mail account and invented a woman by the name of Sue. Sue was to be a friend of a co-worker in his office who was to remain confidential. Sue and this friend from Tom’s office were lunching together one day when Sue commented on seeing Tom and asked about him. She requested his e-mail address and said her friend would like to remain a secret for now as she would be embarrassed working in the same office. As Tom worked for a large organisation this was a possible scenario.
I continued to maintain an e-mail relationship with my husband through “Sue”. He even explained to Sue he was unhappily married. It all started to become real when I could see Tom falling for Sue; he was desperate for her phone number and to meet. As I asked questions about his marriage, I was hurt to find he was beginning to speak bitterly about me in the process. Little did he know it was me on the other end. My husband started to turn on his laptop computer at nights more often to look for e-mails from Sue and was distancing himself from me.
In the end, when I had all the ammunition I needed, I set up a close friend to text message Tom, pretending to be Sue one morning when he was in the shower. I made her write that she had overcome her nerves and would love to meet today for lunch. She had followed this text with “I can’t wait to meet you, Love Sue xx”. I took a deep breath and entered the bathroom, showing him this text message on his phone in an emotional, surprised way and asking for an explanation. He coldly denied anything, saying she was just a friend. I then proceeded to explain I had been suspicious and I’d read some e-mails on his laptop. He couldn’t deny anymore.
My plan worked. Tom and I separated after his admission that he wasn’t happy and that I could no longer trust him. I had in my hands the perfect reason for our separation that couldn’t be held against me within our families. In their eyes it was Tom that had dishonoured the relationship.
I have no regrets as both Tom and I have found new happiness and my depression has all but disappeared into thin air. The only regret I have is that I will carry this deceit with me for the rest of my life.
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