A few years ago, a friend and I decided to move to the UK for a year or two. We gave ourselves 18 months to save, during which time I met a guy in my hometown Brisbane, Alan, and fell for him really hard. I told Alan from the beginning I was planning to go overseas for an indefinite period, but he still wanted to give us a go.
Not one to change my plans for a man, or to let a friend down, the day for my departure arrived. After a teary goodbye, off I went. I didn’t promise Alan anything as I didn’t think it was fair for either of us to wait for each other — especially if I decided to stay in the UK for good — but he was adamant he wanted to.
I loved the UK from the minute I arrived, but I did miss Alan. We spoke lots on the phone and I didn’t even look at anyone else for about a year.
But then I went to Ireland on holiday and met a lovely local bloke, Gus. We clicked straight away and, before I knew it, one thing led to another. It was a total surprise as I hadn’t so much as kissed anyone else since leaving home.
I didn’t know what to tell Alan, but he obviously picked up on my confusion during our conversations. He asked if there was any point in waiting anymore. I said no as I didn’t want to leave him hanging on. He accepted that at first, but then he called back saying he still wanted to wait for me, no matter what I said.
I couldn’t tell Alan I’d met someone else and, besides, I wasn’t even sure if anything would happen with Gus or if it was just a holiday fling. Gus called lots, but for all I knew he was seeing other girls too. Eventually, though, he asked me to go and visit, so I went back to Ireland for a week. We had a great time and I was sad to leave.
Then Gus got a new job and over the next few weeks we spoke less and less. His phone was often off and I didn’t know if he was out of signal range or just ignoring me.
Not one to dwell on things, I went on holiday with the girls to Germany. And there I met Dan — an amazing guy from Canada. Dan made a move on me and, because I thought the Irish guy was more or less out of the picture, there seemed nothing wrong with a holiday romance. I knew Dan was travelling around the world and I’d probably never see him again, so it seemed like no harm done. We didn’t even arrange to stay in touch.
But when I got back to UK, I discovered that Dan had found me on Facebook. There was a message from him saying he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I really hadn’t expected it, but over the course of several messages I began to like him more and more.
Meanwhile, my ex was still calling from Brisbane… then Gus came back on the scene! He said he’d been away for work, with no mobile signal, and he wanted me to go and visit him in Ireland again. We discussed dates, but nothing was booked.
Then, about six weeks ago, I came back home to Brisbane for a friend’s wedding. I met up with my ex Alan and, despite my best intentions, the inevitable happened. I flew back to UK feeling more confused than ever.
When I got there, I had the surprise of my life — Canadian Dan arrived in town. We arranged to meet for drinks — and ended up spending an intense week together before he carried on with his trip. It took me by surprise how well we got on.
During this time, I didn’t hear from the Irish bloke, Gus. Then I got a phone call from him saying he’d been away again, but he’d booked me flights to go and see him. I was totally shocked as I’d assumed he wasn’t interested anymore.
Two days after the Canadian left, I flew to Ireland and had an amazing time with Gus — and an even bigger surprise when he said he wanted me to move in with him.
Then I got a message from the Canadian saying he was falling in love with me and he thought we could have a future together.
During all of this, Alan was still texting me from back home in Brissie!
Over the last six weeks, I’ve spent time with all three of them in different parts of the world, and none of them know about the others. I’m feeling increasingly bad about it, but a friend says I’m just restoring the balance for girls everywhere!
I’m not sure how long I can keep it up though, as I’m an honest person and have never cheated on anyone. My friend says it’s not technically cheating as I haven’t promised any of them anything, and it’s just unfortunate they all came along at once.
The trouble is… I really like all of them, and whichever one I’m with at the time seems like the one — that is, until I see one of the others. I know I need to end things with two of them, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m also worried I’ll make the wrong choice and regret it. Usually I’d be the first to judge someone doing what I’m doing, but I really can’t see any way out. If I’m not careful I’ll end up with no-one.
*All names in this story have been changed.
Picture: Getty Images. Posed by models.*
Your say: How should she go about choosing or should she ditch all three? What would you do if you were in this situation? Have your say about this true confession below…
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