I'm having my best friend's brother's baby

Lil and I had been friends for ages. We spent most of our schooling years together. We were very close and as all friends have their differences, we used to work through ours and they made our friendship stronger. So when I started sleeping with her brother I felt like the worst person in the world.

I started sleeping with Brad about nine months ago — this was all kept a secret at first due to the long term relationship he had been involved in for almost three years. We would meet up secretly and indulge in each other’s company, even though we knew it was wrong. Then the affair became more then just sex. The “L” word was exchanged and as soon as that happened, I was totally intoxicated by the passion that we both shared for one another. I wanted everyone to know! But I knew it wouldn’t be that simple as Lil was my best friend and Brad had his girlfriend.

One night, however, too much vodka made telling Lil seem easy. In a drunken confession I told her that I was sleeping with her brother. Even though I was drunk I could still see how hurt she was by what I had done. I felt even worse then I already did. After I had told her, things stopped with Brad. After seeing the way she looked at me when I told her, I couldn’t put her through that any more, so I ended it with Brad and promised Lil I would stop seeing him.

It was easy at first; I would see him out and only say hi and that was it. But one night we both could not control what we felt and I went back on the promise I had made to my best friend. For the last two months Brad and I have been sleeping together again without anyone knowing. And the thing that puts the icing on the cake is that I found out that I’m five weeks pregnant. I haven’t even told Brad, let alone Lil.

I’m planning to relocate in the next month before I start to show and have no plans on telling Brad that he is the father just yet. I know that he has a right to know that he is going to be a father but I just don’t think that it is the best time to tell him. I will tell him eventually but just not now.