We’re both going to be 30 this year and I think we should be doing a bit more planning for our future, because in the past we’ve discussed having a family and moving to a house in an area where there’s good schools.
The problem is that we both earn about the same amount, which is fine for the way we live just now but not so good if we make those changes. I would like to have a baby in the next year and to work part time, which we couldn’t afford on our present salaries. It’s also harder to get a mortgage now so moving to a house wouldn’t be that simple.
My husband won’t apply for a manager’s post at his work, which would give him a much bigger salary. There are two jobs coming up at that level and he’s been with his company for seven years so he should have a good chance at one of them but he says he doesn’t want the responsibility, wouldn’t enjoy the work and it would mean that he was in charge of some of his friends.
I’m sick of talking about it and he refuses to change his mind but I think he’d like it once he got used to it and it would make all the difference to us and the future. My best friend’s husband works very long days but she says it’s worth it because he earns so much. How can I persuade my husband to go for this job?
You could save for a couple of years so you have money put by for having a baby, earn more money yourself or consider whether your husband might be the one who would opt for working part time if you have a family.
If he really isn’t comfortable going for this promotion then stop going on about it and starting talking, planning and acting like a team.
Don’t compare yourself with other people’s situations unless it’s to assess honestly how they live would work in your own relationship.
There is always a certain amount of juggling necessary when it comes to planning for the future, whether that involves work or family, but you cannot be making demands instead of working this out together. Slow down, have an honest and non-bullying conversation with your husband and decide on your future plans together.
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