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I urinated in my boss’s green tea

After working in menial data entry jobs year after year, I’d had enough of my “career” going nowhere, so I got a job as a receptionist at the Australian office of a big Chinese firm. I was excited to be working for a global company that could possibly send me to an overseas office after I had proved how good I was at my job and moved up the ladder.

My first week there was great, the staff were friendly and I learned my responsibilities so quickly. I loved it and could see myself working there for the rest of my life. But the next week, when the CEO returned from a business trip, I found out what the big boss was really like — a horrible man!

Being a Chinese company, what he says goes, regardless of whether it’s wrong or inefficient. He loathes being corrected, and stories had gone around about employees he had fired simply because they offered a faster solution to a problem than what he thought of.

I usually wore business casual clothes to work but I wanted to make a great first impression when meeting him so I wore a classic black suit, elegant jewellery and perfect make up… Only to have him walk straight past me without making eye contact or even a sound, completely ignoring my introduction and extended hand and slamming his office door behind him. I fought back my anger and told myself he’s just tired from a long plane trip, he’ll be himself in a few hours. I calmed myself down and felt much better.

An hour later he called me (I was referred to as “You there”) into his office. I smiled, straightened myself out and strode confidently into his office, only to be shot down with, “What do you think you’re doing wearing a suit? You’re not a staff member. You’re a receptionist. Don’t ever wear those clothes in my office again. Do you understand?” “Yes sir,” I replied meekly, looking at the floor and wishing it would swallow me up. “Good. Now go and prepare my tea.”

I rushed to the kitchen, trying my hardest not to cry. “Who the hell does he think he is? This is Australia, mate! Ever heard of treating people like equals?” I thought, slamming glasses down. My angry thoughts continued, “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire!” I stopped dead in my tracks as a stroke of pure genius hit me.

I looked around to make sure nobody was looking and ran to the loo with his special mug in my hand. I positioned myself over it and filled about a quarter of the mug, smiled, finished up in there and strolled back to the kitchen. I filled the rest of the mug with his green tea and stood there for a few minutes trying to look neutral so I didn’t raise any suspicion.

Once that was done, I took the mug into his office and then closed the door behind me when I left. He called me a few hours later to demand another one. I collected his mug and beamed with pride when I saw that it was empty.

I made a decision then and there to stay on in that job, and every time I’m treated worse than dirt by the CEO, I brew him a special tea!

I’m not going to give up an amazing opportunity at a great company with excellent staff just because this man treats them like crap and doesn’t know any other motivational tool but fear.

What I’m doing may be “immoral” to some people, but to me it’s swift justice while keeping your job and in a way standing up to your boss for uncalled-for cruelty. If I actually speak out against him I’ll be fired and a team of lawyers will prevent me from doing anything about it. So what would you do if you were in my shoes?

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