Home News Real Life

I told the other woman

I had always been fairly lucky in love. I would end up with nice guys, ultimately not “the one”, but good guys. My girlfriends warned me that one day I was sure to get burnt, that my winning streak in love couldn’t last. They were right.

When I met Tom in April, very quickly I started to believe that this was “the one”. We were introduced by friends and I remember laughing so much that night. He was smart and charming, with such a handsome smile that it gave me goose bumps. We discussed past serious relationships. His last had been with a girl called Sue, it had ended amicably five months ago.

From the beginning I knew Tom was moving to America for work. This worked out perfectly, as I too would be flying to America in January for a work transfer. During those initial months of our relationship, he went across to the States several times, which he claimed was for job interviews. In September, six months into our serious relationship, Tom made the full move across the Pacific and I was to join him four months later, to live together.

Over the next four months, I missed him terribly. We e-mailed each other frequently during the day. He would phone me while I was at work. It was always hard to talk then, as my job was very demanding. I would plead with him to phone me later at home. But there was always some good reason why he didn’t — like he had fallen asleep or gone out with friends. When I tried to phone him at home, the phone would just ring and ring or sometimes be switched off altogether.

Each month I would want to fly over for a weekend with him, to see where we would be living. Instead he would regularly fly back to Sydney to see me. He claimed that his temporary flatmate was very uncomfortable having strangers in the house. Her name was Jax and she was a long haul flight attendant, he told me. She would be away for days at a time with work but when she finally came home, she would demand peace and quiet.

Months passed, January came, Jax moved out and I moved in, finally. Under the same roof together, I noticed that Tom was a lot more cagey and inhibited … until one day it all came out. He was usually careful when checking his e-mail to hide them when I entered the study. One day I needed to look at the Internet quickly, so Tom stepped aside to let me on the computer. Clicking on a wrong web page, I had to go back a page and suddenly the screen was his Yahoo inbox. All I could see were e-mails that he had been sending to Sue, his supposed ex — one had been sent just yesterday. I clicked it open and read.

When he’d told me he had broken up with Sue, he’d lied. They had been together the whole time that I had been dating Tom. She had moved to America for her job and he followed her. All those times he claimed to be going to America for work interviews, it had really been to visit her.

When he moved to America in September he moved into their home — her full name was Sue Jax. The reason he could never call me from home or I could never reach him was because Sue was there. And when it came time for me to join him in America, he broke off their relationship without explanation. She fled the house, broken and confused.

I packed my stuff together and moved out that day. Tom tried explaining his version, but that only made me pack faster. Once I had left him, my next port of call was Sue. I remembered her e-mail address easily enough. It was a short and straightforward e-mail but very hard to write. I knew that Sue was innocent in all this too, she had no idea Tom was in another relationship. But I had to let her know what a dog he had been. I wanted to make sure she never felt the urge to see him or re-build their broken relationship. I explained who I was and gave her dates as evidence. It was hard to keep my bitter tone in check in the e-mail. I doubt Tom had any idea I might remember Sue’s e-mail address, let alone consider contacting her.

It was months later, when I had given up hope of hearing from Sue, that I finally received a reply. It was short. But she said she was grateful to know the truth and it made a lot of things clear to her. She also said that Tom had tried to contact her but she was ignoring him. I’m sure Tom has no idea why Sue is ignoring him but I cannot believe his cheek, as he tried to move so easily between girlfriends.

I never heard from Sue again, nor did I try and contact her again. There are too many painful memories for both of us. Wherever Sue is out there, we are both better off without him. I have paid my dues now and hope one day soon I will be ready to look for love again.

Related stories