Ever since all the children moved out of Mum’s house, she had kept student boarders. At first it was mainly an arrangement to keep her occupied and give her some company, but the additional income also helped her in tough times.
But Mum was not the only one going through tough times. Increases in mortgage payments, credit card bills and a reduced income had taken its toll on my partner’s and my budget. We had cut costs to the extreme but were still struggling.
On one particular visit to my mum’s, she asked me to go to the store to get some groceries. She led me into her bedroom and asked me to shut the door. I was wondering why she was being so funny and secretive. All of a sudden Mum pulled out an envelope full of cash that she had hidden in between some clothes in her closet. I asked her what all the money was for and she said it was saved up for a rainy day. It was all the money from the student rent. I asked her how much was there and she wasn’t sure. It looked to be over $1000.
Mum gave me some money for the groceries and we were about to leave when I decided to use her ensuite bathroom. As I was leaving the room I took a quick glance at the closet and then had a sudden thought. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. I quickly took out the envelope of money and pocketed $20. I justified my actions by the fact that I had only taken $20 and that Mum would want to help me if she knew my situation. I don’t know why I didn’t just ask her for money. I suppose it was pride.
Over the next couple of weeks I continued taking first $20 and then $50 and soon $100 bills. I eventually ended up stealing over $500. I was hoping Mum wouldn’t notice but then I started to panic. I was the only person Mum had shown her stash to. What happens if she does start to notice? Over the next few weeks I tried to replace the money I had taken, but I could only afford to put back $10 to $20 a week.
Eventually Mum did notice her money gone. She was so distraught. I tried to convince her that she must have spent it and just forgotten. Mum was adamant she hadn’t. And then she asked me if I had taken any money. She sounded so scared and asked so innocently and in the softest and nicest tone in order not to upset me. I felt terrible. But I couldn’t admit what I had done so I blamed it on the student boarders. I said that when Mum was showing me the money I had seen someone glimpse inside the room, but I couldn’t make out who it was for sure. Mum was so shocked that one of her boarders would do this. She had developed close relationships with most of them and was very disappointed.
The next week I returned to her house only to find that all the spare rooms were vacated. I asked what had happened and she told me that she couldn’t bear to live with her students knowing that one of them was a thief. And because she didn’t know who it was, she had to ask all of them to leave. I felt so guilty. I instantly offered to help Mum find new, trustworthy boarders to fill the rooms, but she was having none of it. She no longer felt the same way about letting students stay in her house. She felt she couldn’t trust anyone any more.
I tried to convince her, but to no avail. Mum now lives by herself and does not get the extra income from the students. And because money was so tight, she has had to take a second night job just to pay the bills. I can’t explain how disgusting and ashamed I feel for stealing from my own mother. To make matters worse, I can’t even help my mum out.
I have sold most of my jewellery and other small belongings that my partner wouldn’t notice missing and have given the money to Mum. She didn’t want to accept it of course, but I told her that I had won a small amount in the lottery and it was to help her out a bit. I have started to contemplate getting a second job so Mum doesn’t have to work too hard, but my partner doesn’t want me to devote my time to a second job and I unfortunately can’t explain to him why I need to do it.
I honestly can’t deal with what I have done. I have told no one. My actions have caused more damage than I can ever imagine. Stealing the money was not even half the damage. Even if I pay the $500 over time through sneaky lottery lies. I still can’t repair my mum’s ability to trust. I am totally disgusted with myself and urge others to think very carefully about their actions and how they can affect you and the ones you love.
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