I slept with my boyfriend's best friend

It was just another beautiful weekend; waking up beside my man of a year-and-a-half — except something was different now. Every morning that I woke up with him from this day on would now be a lie. I had done the worst thing.

Tom and I met through a mutual friend and we hit it off straight away. He was the sexiest guy I had ever met (complete with washboard abs) and he made me laugh so much that my stomach hurt. It wasn’t long before we were going out and I was staying at his house most nights. I would buy the food and clean the house while he was at work, and try and entertain myself until he got home. But trying to do that now was not an option. I couldn’t even look in his beautiful eyes because I knew he would see right through me. I am a hopeless liar and he knows it.

My problem with Tom began with insecurity. I had no trust in Tom at all and it didn’t help that whispers of cheating and random girls were always in my ears. In fact, Tom’s best friend Matt had told me that he seen Tom with another woman and that Tom had sent him a text message to brag about it. I would cry myself to sleep beside Tom but I stayed with him any way — I loved him. Things began to get difficult as I would spy on Tom, check his phone and ask 20 questions when he came home late. I guess you could say I had it coming but I turned the tables.

One particular night, I was out with Matt driving around. I had just had a big fight with Tom (because of him allegedly cheating on me) and was feeling that payback would suffice and teach him a lesson. I asked Matt to pull over the car and before I knew it, we were having sex in the back of it! We both swore not to say a word about it because we both would have so much to lose.

Of course, afterwards when I saw Tom I realised how much I loved him. I have been trying my hardest to act normal and pretend things are okay but Tom isn’t stupid and is always trying to coax it out of me. One day I will crack and confess it to him … one day when I’m ready to face the consequences.