I had been with my husband Ed for five years.
We had met at university and were involved in the same church group on weekends.
I had seen him around but it wasn’t until we realised we were taking the same classes at uni that we really spoke to one another. It was a very traditional romance and as we were both virgins, we decided to remain as such until our wedding night.
We married a year after we met and although we sometimes had to struggle to make ends meet, had a wonderful life.
But four years down the track, I started to feel as though I had missed out on something by getting married so young.
Deep down, I had a terrible, secret yearning for the touch of another man.
One Christmas my husband and I travelled up north to spend the holiday with his family. I hadn’t spent much time with them as we had always lived in Perth and only made it up to see them every year or two.
This year it was as though I noticed my husband’s father Karl in a different light. He had retired recently and he and his wife had bought a home close to the beach. He was now spending all his time beach fishing and promised to take us fishing during our stay.
I couldn’t wait to get to know Ed’s family better and get closer to the man who by now was causing me to have romantic daydreams.
Karl took us down to the beach early one morning to catch some lunch for the day. He must have been noticing the constant eye contact I was making and it was almost as though he could hear the butterflies in my stomach every time he came within arm’s length of me.
After an hour or two, Ed decided he would head back to the house to see what his mother was up to. He wasn’t the sort who could be patient enough to catch fish, but I was happy to stay behind and continue bonding with his increasingly flirty father.
Once Ed was out of sight, I playfully asked for more guidance with my casting. Karl came over and put his arm around me to show me how to cast the line. I sensed the electricity between us when we touched and before I knew it, had kissed him.
He looked at me, then took the rod from my hand. I traced his lips with my fingers and kissed him again.
It was still early in the morning and luckily we were in an out-of-the-way spot where Karl knew there were plenty of fish and no people. So when he laid me on the sand to make love, I had no inhibitions. It was magical. Karl had all the attractive qualities I loved in my husband, but some ruggedness and experience that Ed lacked.
It happened only the one time — that was enough to put my curiosity about being with someone else to rest. I could now be with Ed and not wonder what it would be like to try someone different.
Months later, after Ed and I had returned home, I discovered I was pregnant. I felt sick with shock not knowing whether my husband was the father or whether the baby was Karl’s. I counted back to the possible date of conception and it had to be a close call.
The chances of it being Karl’s were slim but I was a wreck just thinking about it. When we announced our happy news to the family I wondered if Karl was wondering the same. I never mentioned it to him and when my beautiful boy arrived later in the year, Ed’s family came down to be with us.
Although my baby boy looks like his daddy, I sometimes see a little of Karl in him. But who knows? Genetically my son would look much the same no matter which man was the father. It’s a secret no one need ever know.
