My best friend Alana had always been very artistic at school. She always got the lead roles in the school play and because of this she was very popular. Growing up, I felt very special to be counted worthy of being her best friend. When she stole my boyfriend in year 12, however, our relationship took an obvious turn for the worse and we coldly parted company. After graduation, I never expected to see her again.
So you can imagine my great surprise when, four years later, I advertised to sub-let my rented apartment and Alana showed up at my door. Always a big believer in fate, I decided it must be a sign. After all, four years had passed and I was ready to bury the hatchet. Alana was rapt to see me too and so she moved in.
At first, we had a fantastic time. By now an aspiring actress, Alana was always being invited to great parties where we met lots of up-and-coming talent. We never met anyone really famous — Alana was by no means a success yet — but we often bumped into people I recognised from guest spots on popular television shows. Alana rubbed shoulders with these people hoping they would lead to a meeting with someone who had the right connections. It never seemed to happen, though, and after a while, an unemployed Alana began to get really downhearted.
I, on the other hand, met the greatest guy in the world at one of the parties. Brian wasn’t an actor either; he was a caterer who worked on the set of a well known night time soap. And he was often invited as a guest of cast members, as I was by Alana. Neither of us had anything real in common with many of the actors we met and we began to socialise with each other at the parties. We quickly realised how much we enjoyed each other’s company, and started dating.
When Alana found out, she was determined that Brian was the ticket to getting an audition for the show he catered for. It didn’t seem to matter how many times Brian explained that his job was simply to make sandwiches, Alana was sure that he must have made some good connections. She began hounding him when he came around, even going so low as to get his mobile number from my phone, so she could call him too. Her calls were often very aggressive and Brian eventually told me he was going to have to stop seeing me until she was out of my life. I was heartbroken and I knew that I wasn’t just going to have to kick Alana out; I was going to need to teach her a lesson!
As it happened, at around this time Alana actually got an audition for another prime time TV show. She was so excited and demanded that I help her prepare her lines for the big day. I knew that this was my chance to get her back! The audition script for her call back was being delivered by courier the day before her audition. I pretended to be sick, and offered to collect the mail for her. She gratefully accepted, never dreaming what I was going to do.
When I got the script, I quickly typed up a new one — changing all the lines, and adding some quite raunchy material for her audition for a G-rated television show. We spent all afternoon rehearsing her fake lines; I could barely keep from laughing as I imagined what would happen when she delivered them for real the next day!
Needless to say, I didn’t hang around to find out. The other thing I had done that day was to pack up most of my stuff. I had also ended the lease, giving Alana only four weeks to find somewhere else to live. By the time she got back the night of her failed audition, I was gone. This time, I planned to never see her again for real.
Brian and I eventually got back together, and we are now happily married. I’ve never seen Alana on the small screen and I don’t expect to. I did hear that she really made a fool of herself at her audition and that it was over pretty quickly. But I don’t know if she ever figured out that I sabotaged her audition script!
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