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I ruined our friendship for a man

I had been envious of my friend Susan for years. No matter what I did in life it never managed to measure up to whatever she was doing. My family was good, her family was great; I was fairly attractive, she was drop-dead gorgeous; I did well academically, she did better. You get the picture. I always wished her nothing but the best but no matter how hard I tried, her life always turned out better than mine. Sometimes I felt cursed.

The hot boyfriend she hooked up with was the last straw. Dean was popular, extremely attractive, charismatic and totally hers. I instantly fell for him at the same time she did. She always relied on me for advice because we were close, so I gave her the green light for this guy. “Go for it!” I said, as I secretly felt like scratching her eyes out. They started going out and I supported her all the way and never interfered once to get him for myself.

They had been going out for nine months when things started to get shaky between them. I had been dating during these nine months but had not found anyone special that I wanted to stay with. She confided in me all her fears about where their relationship was going. I continued to support her, secretly hoping it would end because I hated seeing him with her.

We all went out in a group one night with a big bunch of girls and guys. My friend Susan went home early because she was feeling unwell. I called her a taxi and sent her on her way. I was thrilled. I had a great time out that night enjoying the group’s company, the attention I was receiving and the fact that, for once, I was the centre of attention.

The jazz bar was due to close and the group of us decided it was time to go. We caught three taxis in the wee hours of the morning. I had too much to drink and decided I needed fresh air and got out of the taxi to walk the last couple of streets home. My friend Susan’s boyfriend, Dean, offered to walk me home. I saw no harm in it because I was always a trustworthy person and knew I could control myself. I got talking with him walking home and he talked his way in the door. He wanted to have a liaison with me and keep it quiet from my friend, Susan. He said he loved her but wasn’t that attracted to her anymore. I said no three times but my resistance was wearing down. We ended up fooling around and he left before it got serious. I woke up the next day feeling guilty — and sick from too many daiquiris.

To this day I have never told Susan about this indiscretion as her and Dean are now married with four kids. Not long after that night, I met someone who I decided to travel overseas with. However, my friendship suffered as a result of my foolishness. I can’t look her in the eye to this day and I regret it to this day.

Picture posed by models.

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