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I put a fake birth notice in the paper

My twin sister and I are identical — we look the same, dress the same, laugh the same. But we don’t act the same. In fact, my sister is not the same person as me at all. My twin sister is mean and spiteful. And this is no clearer than when it comes to our children.

I got married a little earlier than Roxanne, and started having my babies almost straight away. From the very first moment, Roxanne was completely jealous of my new happy family — maybe because it didn’t include her as much as it once had. Roxanne would often drop by to see her niece and nephew, two years apart, but I don’t know why she bothered; she was never particularly nice to them. In fact, sometimes she was downright horrible:

“Look who got their daddy’s looks,” she used to coo.

“I’m sorry, Tanya,” she would then say to me, “but your children are just ugly.”

Naturally, I would get defensive, but at the end of the day I knew that Roxanne was wrong, and just being malicious, so I never banished her from my house — as I probably should have. I was sure she was just saying what she said out of jealousy, and because she knew the children were too young to understand what she was telling them. And it seemed I was right — when my eldest was four, the taunts stopped.

Then, Roxanne fell pregnant with her own baby. She was suddenly too excited to focus on my kids anymore, and I was delighted — both for her happiness and the end of her jealousy.

So you can’t imagine my outrage when, just a few weeks before she was due to give birth, she told my four year old daughter that she was “really a very ugly, naughty child,” and that her little girl would both beautiful and good. My child was crushed, and I had only one thing on my mind… Revenge.

I wasn’t really sure how to go about it. Merely telling my sister to never come near my family again just didn’t seem satisfying enough. I wanted her to suffer in the same way I had for four years of her hurting me and my children.

It wasn’t until the day her little girl was born that the perfect idea came to me: I would put a very special birth notice in the papers. It was so perfect and devious, I was sure it would never be allowed. But I was determined to give it a try!

A few days after baby Marian’s birth, a notice appeared in both the state and local papers announcing:

“Roxanne and her husband Daniel are pleased to announce the arrival of the World’s Ugliest Baby, Marian. Born at 4.56am, she is long and fat, and with a face so concaved by the forceps, it is inconceivable that she could ever be pretty. Commiserations to the whole family.”

Both papers tried to argue with me that it was too harsh, but I had Roxanne’s driver’s license. As far as they were concerned, I was the mother — and I could therefore say what I liked.

Of course, Roxanne was furious. The whole town (let alone the whole state!) had seen the notice, and assumed Roxanne and Daniel had indeed had a hideously ugly baby. They also thought Roxanne the nastiest mother alive, and Roxanne had a very difficult time enrolling in her local mothers’ group!

Marian is, of course, a beautiful child, and when I visit with my young family, I make sure I tell her so. While I delight in the fact that I viciously wounded my twin sister’s pride — and she doesn’t even realise it was me!

Picture: Getty Images. Posed by model.

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