I had started a new job and had only been there two days when Phil walked past me in the hall and smiled. He was absolutely handsome and my heart melted there and then. I knew I was going to enjoy this job.
After my third day, he e-mailed me and asked if I was going to the work Christmas party; he gave me all the details and I responded that it sounded good and I hoped to be there. The e-mails went back and forth and by the end of the day (Friday), he knew I was going out that night with friends and he hinted he might come for a drink.
I got home from work and was way too excited about seeing him — I got dressed up with special care, just in case. I turn up at the club with all my friends and next thing, in walks Phil. I knew that he was the one for me! We had a lovely night and before too long we were in a taxi heading home to my place. We spent the night making love and talking and everything just fell into place — I was in heaven.
Then Phil’s phone rang and he was saying he would be home soon and “I love you too”. It’s amazing how a split second can make your heart turn from soft to hard. I found out he was married. Unhappily married, but nevertheless, married. I called a taxi for him, sent him home and cried myself to sleep!
The following Monday at work it was such a struggle for me to get up and head in to the office; I was embarrassed and so hurt. As soon as I got to work and checked my e-mails, there he was saying he was sorry and that we needed to talk. Of course, the heart rules the head and we arranged to meet. He took me out for lunch; we had wine, we talked, we held hands and by the end of lunch I knew I was going to have an affair with him.
We spent our lunches at restaurants, the beach, driving around. We met for drinks after work, we went to concerts together and had the most beautiful time. We spent nights in motels and restaurants, although he always had to leave around 4am in the morning to go home (pretending he was at a club). He paid for everything and bought me the most beautiful gifts. We even went to work functions together and I know the office knew what was going on but we didn’t care.
Over Christmas it was very hard for me as I spent it alone while he was with his wife and family. And that is when it hit me … it devastated me that he was with her and not with me. He kept promising that he was going to leave her and begged me to wait.
Then over New Year’s Eve, I met someone else and knew I had to break it off with Phil. He was devastated and begged me not to leave. I was upset that I had let myself become so wrapped up in him that I didn’t realise it was never going to work. It was hard to leave him and I still think to this day that he is my soulmate. I am in love now and life is good but I will always wonder ‘what if?’
I have since heard his wife found out about the affair but he denied it. Now I feel terrible guilt for what I have done. I almost ruined a family and broke his children’s hearts and I thank God every day that he sent my new partner to me. I think he was saving us all from terrible heartache.
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