At school I was skinny with braces on my teeth and fairly average in looks. I wasn’t even able to find a date for the school dance, so I feigned illness and didn’t attend. Secretly I longed for one particular guy, Mike. He was a super-cool surfer type and lived quite close to me. Although I saw him on the school bus every day, he never acknowledged my presence in any way.
In the last summer holidays before I finished school for good, I went to the local swimming pool one really hot day and started swimming lengths of the pool. I was swimming up and down like a robot when someone grabbed at my swimsuit. I tried to shake them off, but when they persisted, I stopped and looked to see who it was. It was Mike! I tried not to look happy or even shocked. I just stared at him. Inside, though, my heart was beating like a drum and my legs had turned to jelly. Mike just laughed. He must have been able to sense how I felt. He held up a set of keys and jiggled them in my face. I realised that they were my house keys. I’d pinned them to my swimsuit and they’d fallen off in the water. How lucky that he’d found them!
I thanked him profusely and offered to buy him a coffee. I was thrilled when he accepted. I was a little bit lost for words but he seemed to be quite happy to talk about himself. He told me some news that broke my heart. The next month his family was moving interstate and he was going with them. I had finally met him and now he was leaving. Nevertheless, he seemed quite happy to be in my company. He even asked me to meet him at the pool the next day. I couldn’t believe this was happening.
We spent the next day together, then he drove me home. My parents were at work so I invited him in for a cup of tea. We walked in and the moment the door was closed he grabbed me in his arms and kissed me passionately. My dreams had come true! It was my first kiss and definitely worth waiting for. That holiday was the most magical time of my life. We went to the beach, to the movies, even on a picnic together. I cried and cried when he went interstate.
Years later when I was 23, I met Tom at university. He was doing the same degree as me and we had a lot in common. He wanted to have children and I knew he would be a good father, so when he proposed I said yes straight away. We decided to have a really nice wedding and I said I wanted three bridesmaids and the whole works. He chose his two best friends and his cousin from interstate as groomsmen.
On the day of the wedding I arrived at the church looking as gorgeous as I was ever going to. As I stepped out of the wedding car, I practically fell into the arms of one of the groomsmen. I looked up and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Mike! He was the cousin from interstate! He hugged me and told me how beautiful I looked and how he’d never forgotten me. He kissed me gently on the lips and wished me luck. Suddenly I realised that I shouldn’t be marrying Tom. Mike was the one I really loved. Unfortunately, the church was full of guests — some from overseas, others from interstate. There was no going back. I bit my lip and proceeded with the ceremony.
When Tom wanted to know why I looked so unhappy, I told him that all the excitement had given me a migraine. He was so understanding. He suggested that I go and lie down in an empty room at the reception lounge until I felt a bit better. Mike was hovering nearby and overheard his suggestion. As soon as I entered that room, he followed me in and locked the door. He was all over me. When he kissed me again, I knew that my marriage was a sham. How could I stay with Tom when Mike turned my heart upside down?
That night I told Tom that he’d have to ‘wait’ till the next day as my migraine was so intense. Fortunately, we’d planned to take our honeymoon the next month, as Tom was very busy at work. The next morning I ducked over to Mike’s hotel and consummated my marriage with Mike. He agreed that I shouldn’t go back to Tom and with his help I packed a bag of clothes — that afternoon we flew interstate, back to his home.
My selfish actions ruined Tom’s life and embarrassed my family severely. My parents refused to speak to me for years. Finally, after the first flush of love had worn off, I came to regret my actions, as guilt ate me up.
In the end my guilt forced me to leave Mike and fly back home, where I tried to start my life anew. I’ve heard that Tom never married again. He joined a religious organisation and went overseas to do aid work in underdeveloped countries. His parents blamed me for losing their son overseas and my parents continued to blame me for making them a laughing stock.
Now, five years later, I wouldn’t care if I never met another man again. I got what I wanted and, believe me, it wasn’t worth losing my family and my self-respect for.
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